Lost my will to interact with people

LegacyUser

Here's the situation. I'm out of college over a year, grown apart from many of my college friends and cant find a job. Stuck working in a dead end min wage job that is killing my me. Met a girl, she was the only good thing to happen to me in a while but then she dumped me 3 months ago because she was in college and didn't want a serious relationship. Was feeling down for a while but now i'm fully over her.

The thing is ever since then whenever i talk to people in work or out socializing i kinda have to force myself to talk to people. Most of the times i just couldn't be bothered. Sounds weird, i know but i was never like this before. Even if a nice looking girl shows any interest in me on a night out, carrying on a conversation with her would feel tedious to me. I feel like i am out of touch with society.

Don't know why i'm feeling like this. It's like i've lost my "get up and go" attitude or any motivation i had before. Sorry for the rant, just don't know what to do with myself??

Queen-Mise

Go to a doctor ASAP.

I suffer from depression and you described me when telling how you feel.

What you say 'it's like your get on and go' has gone... Exactly the same - my joie de vie (sp?) has left the building. Talking to people, generally engaging in the outside world is hard work. It is more bother than it's worth.

Getting motivated to do relatively simple things is hard work. Where I would always chat with someone in a shop, for example, I am not able to do sometimes. When depression is very deep even getting a shower/brushing teeth is hard work.

Have a chat with your GP and see what they say.

LegacyUser

Thanks, i appreciate your reply. To be honest i dont feel like i'm depressed (i'm not suicidal or anything) and if i see a GP that means medication which i am strongly against. The last thing i want is to be prescribed something that makes me walk around like i had a lobotomy.

I'm just wondering is there anyone else who had this same kind of problem and overcame it?

Queen-Mise

adsaddf wrote: »

Thanks, i appreciate your reply. To be honest i dont feel like i'm depressed (i'm not suicidal or anything) and if i see a GP that means medication which i am strongly against. The last thing i want is to be prescribed something that makes me walk around like i had a lobotomy.

I'm just wondering is there anyone else who had this same kind of problem and overcame it?

I am not advocating medication for depression here, just want to comment on your post.

Firstly depression does not necessarily equal suicidal thoughts. And secondly anti-depressants do not make people zombie-like.

Do what you decide best, and best of luck.

LighterGuy

Hmmm well depression doesnt necessary mean sucidal thoughs op. A person can be depressed but still not wanting to commit suicide.

But from the sounds of it I dont think you are depressed really. Your situation sounds like something I have experienced. So lets get to the bottom of things It seems to be steming from either of the following two things (or even both?):

1,
You stated that you have left college a year ago, currently have no job and lost contact with alot of your college friends - it could be that you feel your "outside the circle of life" - its a form of getting into yourself. Alot of people go through this at one point in their lives. Jobs, friends, even stuff you do all helps us to maintain a balance of feeling a purpose (that you fit in with life) If alot of that gets cut back or taken away it makes us feel differently.

2,
This girl who you dated for 3 months.
- At times in life our bad experiences effect us more than you think. I think you are just jaded to the whole process of currently meeting new people (dont worry its a natural feeling after bad experiences)
That because of this girl who turned around after 3 months and said "dont want a serious relationship" it has made you think "its all bol*ox" to alot of aspects in life.

If you need a personal experience/example? well I had the attitude of number #2 at the start of the year. After being used by a girl that ended bad for me (used me and tossed me aside for someone else) I began to not care about interacting with new people. Mainly women. Even tho when I was over her, it was the bad situation that changed my views.

I could probably go on
But has any of above made you think?

LegacyUser

I experienced the same feeling as youre describing OP. The lack of enthusiasm you feel could be described as mild depression but that doesnt mean you have to go to a doctor just yet. If you think yourself that youre ok you probably are. Your confidence has probably just taken a bit of a shaking because of the adjustments you have had to make.

In regards communication the best advice I could give you is just to remind yourself how fun meeting people and getting to know them can be. The bottom line is the more people you communicate with in a day, the happier you will be.

I know its kind of a lame idea but even if you bought a book on communication or conversation techniques and tried them on people you meet it might put some of the fun back into interacting with people.

Not amazing advice I know but I found I was able to overcome my feelings of depression and lethargy in my life by setting myself goals and pursuing them.

OP maybe if you set yourself goals in different areas of your life it would give you a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment.