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I can't break up

  • 30-10-2010 7:38am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    I'm a girl in my mid 20's and I've been dating a guy for about 2 years. We've recently started living together and have moved to be in the same place with each other. Since we moved, we've been fighting and arguing a lot, which may in part be due to stress, but it's definitely an issue. We recently started having sex and he's not very understanding in bed, too rough and tbh he really doesn't do a whole lot for me. He has no career goals and is immature and not financially dependent. When we started dating, he was 'sort of' seeing this other girl (and never really came clean about it until a long time into her relationship), and was looking at all her social network sites every single day while we first started dating - he was so weird and immature about the whole thing and I never really made peace with the situation because he never came clean about it. I'm not 100% happy and I would rather break up, but my problem is I can't do it.

    I've NEVER been able to do it.

    Even when I have been in relationships in the past where I have wanted out, and it's been so screamingly obvious that it should end, I linger on and even sabotage things to an extent where I wind up being on the recieving end of a break up, despite having wanted to end things myself in the first place. In the past I have been on the recieving end of a particularly nasty break up and I came out of it so much better than I had been before the relationship; however despite knowing that a break up is not the end of the world (and in fact is likely to make things a whole lot better), I still can't do it. I know I'm being cowardly and it's unfair to be in a relationship with someone when you want out (and ironically...I can give advice to people in similar situations to me but I can't take it myself). Just writing this gives so much more clarity to the situation, but I know that I am still going to struggle doing it. I just don't have the balls, and I am well aware of that. Any words of advice are welcome, thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Go do some assertion classes or read up on improving assertion. Dragging out unhealthy relationships because you knowingly don't have the balls to end it isn't going to do your self-esteem, or general respect from others any good at all.

    All the best


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