I have no-one :(

LegacyUser

As the title suggests I have no-one in my life and i mean no-one. It's almost time to go home for the wkend and i can honestly say i probably won't speak to another person until i come back to work on monday, how sad is that?

I'm so lonely all the time, i wish i had people to turn to, i suffer from an illness that causes regular pain so it's hard to make and keep plans even if i did have friends.

I'm 30 years old living alone and so so sad, not sure how much more i can take - it hurts so much all the time.

Ickle Magoo

Hi there,

I think your first port of call is to tell your GP or specialist how you feel. Is there any local support groups? You could try over on the Long Term Illness forum here and see if there is anyone in the same boat?

All the best

Ainekav

you poor thing, that's an awful situation to be in.

is there anyone you can even tentatively reach out to at work for starters? could you go to lunch with your workmates for some sort of social interaction? could you go for drinks/cokes with them after work on a friday?

if this became a regular thing then maybe your workmates could do things with you that wouldnt involve too much effort on your part, such as calling over to you for a dvd or a takeaway. i know its easier said than done but maybe it'd be worth a try? what about family, can you talk to any of them at all?

you might be surprised at what friendships you can create if you start talking to people. Do you have any interests, or anything you do outside work where you could potentially meet people? or are you too sick to be able to do this?

i'm assuming that you aren't close to anyone at work, is this maybe something to do with your illness? ie. that you are not able to engage with things they would be doing eg. going out? you may not be able to partake in everything they do or whatever but you could even grab a coffee with them during work and see where it leads..

I agree with below poster too- go to your GP and tell them what you are going through emotionally. they may refer you to a counsellor. don't give up - there's a saying outside that pub doyles on college green that says "there's a good time coming be it ever so far away". i used to see it every morning on the bus. keep it in mind.

LighterGuy

You have it bad op.
Your post is another true reminder to those famous words "life aint fair"

Everyone in life goes through a "rut" at times (of course, some arent that worse but they dont realise that :rolleyes:) While others such as yourself are in genuine ruts.

I think people tend to "wait" when in a rut. Thinking "things will get better" - as they could. But sadly again life aint fair. Often you have to go out there and try... which is easier said than done at times. But it seems to be the only way forward on this earth.

You can only rely on yourself op. So its up to you to pull yourself out. Many a person has thought themselves to have a good social life only for it to fade away. Then they have to rebuild.

I know its cliche answers but courses, clubs etc are the way forward. They all share that one common aspect "meeting new people" - and hey lets be honest you could join 5 clubs and nothing to happen but its about picking yourself up and keep trying.

LegacyUser

LighterGuy's post is great, and really resonated with me.

But I'm afraid OP that sometimes making plans and sticking to them is needed to maintain friendships. Maybe you could try to establish contacts as LG suggested, and make small plans that could be kept to, or at least make sure that people know why you are cancelling plans if you have to. I know you have your reasons for cancelling plans, but I think it is very important to communicate this. And - not to be harsh - but others have lots of stuff going on in their own lives, so they may only be understanding up to a point about plans being cancelled. Or maybe that's just me! I think communication is the key.

It sounds as though you need to perhaps think about following LG's advice about making contacts/friends in the first place though.

Just to give you a different perspective, I have zero plans for Sat and Sun, and am really looking forward to reading/watching a box set/catching up on sleep/shopping - just generally chilling out and having two days of me time to do it! It's not necessarily all bad.

I hope you feel better about things soon.

LegacyUser

Just re-read LG's post, and it is really good.

It might sound silly, but would you think about making a list of things that you get real enjoyment from? Like things that you can do yourself. Whether reading or watching DVDs, cooking, having a bath ... You can plan some of these things for your weekend of you-time.

Then come back to work on Monday having had a lovely relaxing weekend of chilled things that you like, and make a few small moves towards engaging more with your workmates. Could be going to lunch, going along for even a little while to a work do, offering to help someone in work who is snowed under - just little things to build up relationships. Of course it won't necessarily work with everyone, but you might find someone with whom you have things in common.

Lists of good things and little steps are how I'd approach it anyway!

And remember - contact can be online too! Good luck OP.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

I just don't know how to pick myself up, I'm so fed up and can't see any way out. I'm not really in a position to join clubs and stuff due to my illness as one wk i could be fine and the next not able to leave my bed.

The people i work with live over an hour away from me and after trying to make friends with them over the last 5 years i don't think that's going anywhere. People have their own lives and friends and don't seem to want anymore, ok i've never suggested a night out or anything as i know no-one would be interested - they all have familys and don't seem to have the time for anything else.

My family don't care, they don't wanna know when things aren't going well, i've always been the black sheep of the family so i guess it doesn't matter what happens to me.

It's saturday morning now and i spent last night alone was in bed by 10 and it'll probably be the same tonight - i am just basically waiting to go back to work on monday - it's been like this for years and i can't see anyway out except to end it all for good.

Ickle Magoo

Hi miss lonely,

We are not qualified to offer you appropriate advice; if you are feeling suicidal you must tell a qualified professional.
If you need to talk to someone in the meantime then you may find some useful contacts here:
useful links

All the best
Ickle