male(30) + Girl(16)= right/wrong?

LegacyUser

Long story short: There was a coach in a club I was involved in almost two years ago and everyone always thought he was very friendly with the younger girls in the club(16 year olds).


This became so obvious that club officials, rather than say anything and cause a massive scene, enrolled all coaches in one of these "Children protection courses" (I think the sports council runs them). But as it turned out he had already done one of these courses anyway from a previous roll in another organisation.

So nothing was done about it and it was thought that his texting may have just been harmless and he did a large amount of work in the club.

Well I have heard that he kissed one of these girls on more than one occasion and went to the cinema, among other things, with another girl. (Heard this from more than one source and basically from the horses mouth).

This man is now in his earlier thirties and is running the club. Basically I'm just wondering was all this ok both legally and morally?

dudara

OP - this needs to be a Personal Issue to be in this forum. Can you please explain how this is a Personal Issue for you?

Nevyn

I would suggest reporting it to the assocation the club is connected with.

Taltos

Ensure before reporting that the information is correct and folk will back you up.
I have seen folk being bullied into withdrawing their complaints/concerns...

LegacyUser

dudara wrote: »

OP - this needs to be a Personal Issue to be in this forum. Can you please explain how this is a Personal Issue for you?

Sorry I lost track of my thoughts, should I do something about this to stop it recurring?

And these girls wont want to say anything because they wont want to admit it to everyone. Ok I guess that's that sorted then, theres nothing that can be done about it as they wont say anything.

Thanks

LighterGuy

+1 Taltos.

It will be word against word unless you get someone to confirm. But you know people in life. When it comes to it, they mightnt back you up.

So make sure another party is willing to do so before doing anything further.

sollar

Remember also that this is a fairly serious accusation, mud sticks if its just hearsay. Completely out of order though if its true.

mikemac

Before you do anything be certain you have your facts right.

I've seen our local principal suspended and career almost destroyed over a rumour and it was far less serious then in the OP. And the rumour was later retracted but as you know mud sticks

And once you start this and it becomes known in the area it can never be taken back again

The man runs the club, you sure the people feeding you the stories don't have a feud going on and want that position?

I'm not saying ignore it or do nothing, just be certain, that's all

dilallio

I agree with the previous posters.
Be aware that the organisation's secretary will probably ask you to lodge the complaint in writing, so make sure your facts are 100% correct.

pollypocket10

OP, I heard something on the radio about this today. You can report a suspicion to child protection services who are under the remit of the HSE.

As far as I'm aware you don't need any evidence but the HSE then has a duty to investigate. You just need to speak to a HSE professional

LighterGuy

Upon further thinking about this Op, this really is going to be hard to prove anything.

In order for this claim to be acted upon you would have to be backed up by one of the girls who he did something with. Otherwise its just word against word (the world we live in :rolleyes:)

Also you said this happened nearly 2 years ago... this could go against things - "why didnt you report this 2 years ago?" is obviously going to be a question investigators will originally think. Not that they would not investigate anyways. But you know yourself.
But lets be honest... lets say they did ask this guy about what happened two years ago. He will turn around and flat out say no he didnt (again the world we live in :rolleyes:) or lets just say the pressure is on him. He could easily turn around and say "oh but she was 17 at that time" - it was two years ago.


If your morals tell you to report this then by all means do so. No one here says you shouldnt. Just realise probably nothing will come about from it (again, the world we live in :rolleyes:)

Moomoo1

when you say he went to the cinema and kissed them, was that all? And did it all happen with full consent of the girls in question?

LegacyUser

athleticfanactic wrote: »

Well I have heard that he kissed one of these girls on more than one occasion and went to the cinema, among other things, with another girl. (Heard this from more than one source and basically from the horses mouth).

Tell the 'horse's mouth' to report him. If you are just going by hearsay (whether it's from the horse's mouth or not), there is the possibility that the rumours aren't true. You could end up ruining a man's life if you report him for something you have absolutely no evidence of.
Steer clear, sometimes other people have their own agenda to push.

Beruthiel

athleticfanactic wrote: »

Well I have heard that he kissed one of these girls on more than one occasion and went to the cinema, among other things, with another girl. (Heard this from more than one source and basically from the horses mouth).

Then she needs to make a formal complaint.
Gossip and word of mouth are not something that anyone will accept from you.