Unappreciated jokes and pranks...Or maybe they just sucked

elchupanebrey

I'm sure everyone as one or two of these up their sleeve, or floor as is the case with me.

A few years back myself and a mate were asked over to a girls house for dinner or something.

She was a bit of a neat freak to say the least, and was taken aback to see a smudge of dirt on the carpet one of us must have dragged in. Most likely me, since it was under my feet. She was going a bit mad looking at peoples shoes and having a go at her housemate.

To add insult to her already obvious injury I claimed it as my own. "It was me, it's a skidmark" I said as I squated to the floor and motioned backwards and forwards over the mark.

From the look in her face you'd think i'd just taken a sh1t in her handbag. At least my pal and her housemate got a good laugh out of it.

Biggins

You had a laugh over something crap! Great stuff.
In your case - they sucked.

phasers

You are not funny, and that's the worst "joke" I've ever heard. Grow up.

Dudess

A guy did sh1t in a handbag at a recent party I heard about - confirmed by a number of reliable individuals. Another guy held the handbag open for him. To me, that's kinda worse.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Freidn told me he went a prty once. Buzzed the doorbell, and when the host came to the intercom, he shouted in a grufff voice "Ofen Sie die Tor bitte - Polezei" (or whatever the correct German is).

There was a pause before he was allowed in, but he thought nothing of it until he got the door of the apartment to find three very heated looking hippies who had just flushed something like three ounces of hash* down the toilet...

*Might have been somethign stronger, not 100% sure

Bob Z

Look youse are giving the guy a hard time. He made a joke completely of his bat a couple of years ago and now he is just wondering if it was a godd joke and worth his time and effort. The poor guy just wants closure

We hope you find what your looking for

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Bob Z wrote: »

Look youse are giving the guy a hard time. He made a joke completely of his bat a couple of years ago and now he is just wondering if it was a godd joke and worth his time and effort. The poor guy just wants closure

We hope you find what your looking for

In that case, no. Toilet humour is the last refuge of the unfunny (cases in point, Ben Elton and South Park). Too easy and requires fuak all effort or observation. "Ooh look - ****! Hahahaha!!!!"

(Sorry - thought we were talkign abotu jokes taht backfired):D

elchupanebrey

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

In that case, no. Toilet humour is the last refuge of the unfunny (cases in point, Ben Elton and South Park). Too easy and requires fuak all effort or observation. "Ooh look - ****! Hahahaha!!!!"

(Sorry - thought we were talkign abotu jokes taht backfired):D

Yeah I was, didn't think it would be such a s ore subjct, or maybe ye all just like clean carpet.

fontanalis

Dudess wrote: »

A guy did sh1t in a handbag at a recent party I heard about - confirmed by a number of reliable individuals. Another guy held the handbag open for him. To me, that's kinda worse.

Very scummy.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

elchupanebrey wrote: »

Yeah I was, didn't think it would be such a s ore subjct, or maybe ye all just like clean carpet.

Ah, fair enough then. Not mad keen on carpets, ful stop, to be honest, give me wooden flooring any day!

elchupanebrey

phasers wrote: »

You are not funny, and that's the worst "joke" I've ever heard. Grow up.

Ouch. Put me in my place.

Bob Z

elchupanebrey wrote: »

Ouch. Put me in my place.

well it was a bit 's.h.i.t'

but at least you left your mark

Tiny Explosions

phasers wrote: »

You are not funny, and that's the worst "joke" I've ever heard. Grow up.

Who shít on your carpet?:pac:

Bob Z

Tiny Explosions wrote: »

Who shít on your carpet?:pac:

The OP

Profiler

Saw an episode of QI in which Joe Brand said this about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (he what wrote the Sherlock Homes stories)

As a trick, Conan Doyle anonymously sent a letter to five friends that read

"We are discovered. Flee immediately."

One of his friends disappeared and Doyle never saw him again...

So... who was the pranker and who was the prankee

SugarHigh

I liked this one by jonathan swift
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/archive/permalink/the_predictions_of_isaac_bickerstaff/

Sticky_Fingers

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

In that case, no. Toilet humour is the last refuge of the unfunny (cases in point, Ben Elton and South Park). Too easy and requires fuak all effort or observation. "Ooh look - ****! Hahahaha!!!!"

(Sorry - thought we were talkign abotu jokes taht backfired):D

Someone with the name Ikky Poo2 giving out about toilet humour, awesome:P

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Sticky_Fingers wrote: »

Someone with the name Ikky Poo2 giving out about toilet humour, awesome:P

Been there, done that, it's poo as in cutsey poo kinda thing. Sometimes, a name is just a name (which, I really need to ****ing change!!)

Sticky_Fingers

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Been there, done that, it's poo as in cutsey poo kinda thing.

Yep, nothing says cute like a nice streaming turd :pac:

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Sticky_Fingers wrote: »

Yep, nothing says cute like a nice streaming turd :pac:

You keep your dirty mind to youself! What is it with the bloody coprophiliacs around here?!!

Mr Freeze

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Freidn told me he went a prty once. Buzzed the doorbell, and when the host came to the intercom, he shouted in a grufff voice "Ofen Sie die Tor bitte - Polezei" (or whatever the correct German is).

There was a pause before he was allowed in, but he thought nothing of it until he got the door of the apartment to find three very heated looking hippies who had just flushed something like three ounces of hash* down the toilet...

Brilliant!!! (Nearly) Pissed myself laughing reading this, class!!!

I'd say those lads were very unappreciative.

jimthemental

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Ah, fair enough then. Not mad keen on carpets, ful stop, to be honest, give me wooden flooring any day!

Ya but the splinters can be dodgy :pac:

lyverbird1

Toilet humour the last refuge of the unfunny, eh? The day the sound of a fart is not amusing is the day I don't laugh at it...

elchupanebrey

jimthemental wrote: »

Ya but the splinters can be dodgy :pac:

That's why you hover your ass slightly over the floor

Splinter

jimthemental wrote: »

Ya but the splinters can be dodgy :pac:

I'm not that dodgy...

Snakeblood

I was in college sitting next to a girl, in a fairly big class. The lecturer was dull, and the girl leaned over to me, and said 'I can't take it any more, I'm getting out of here'. So she got up and moved quickly to the door. As she opened it, I shouted 'I'm sorry!' at her.

Everyone looked at me.

kiad

About a year ago there was a party at my house and my housemate was really looking to get stuck into this girl. I knew it would happen that night so I snuck into his room with a pin and pierced all his condoms. It was hilarious and they're new baby is ADORABLE!

Mr Freeze

A work mate from NZ told me a story (just now after I mentioned Ikky Poo's story to him) above about a group of friends he used to hang out with at the local pub.
One of the guys used to grow his own weed at the back of his rural property, in an open topped water tank. It wasn't visible from the road, but would be from the air.
One day he was in the pub telling the lads that he'd have to stop growing his own as the neighbours had grassed him up, and the cops were on to him.
He'd just flushed all his stash, and had to destroy his plants because the police helicopter had been flying around his property all afternoon.

Turns out one of the other lads was having flying lessons that day, and thought it would be a bit of craic to fly low over the guys house.