did i do the right thing in ending the relationship?

golf09

last june i met this man (aged 34) out. i am 30. i knew him to see and i knew he has a daughter (aged 14). We got together and we went on our first date 2 weeks later to the cinema. we got on great and for both of us it felt like we clicked- he is very generous, complimentary, kind-hearted and funny.(i was out of an 8 year relationship with 9 months and his relationship with his daughter's mother ended very badly about 7 years ago- she cheated on him with his friend.)after this failed relationship he said he went for counselling but he said he didnt give a damn about anyone or anything.he said he drank alot during this time and he was caught for drink driving.

as he travels around the country it would be mostly saturday and sundays i would see him. he would ring and text every morning and night. he only ever collected me from home and dropped me home the same night 3 times. other times his friends collected me, i drove or i stayed over at his parent's house.

a typical weekend would be pub and maybe nightclub on sat night and the pub and a meal on sunday evening.i am a social drinker but i discovered he drinks an awful lot. we only went to the cinema once and we never had date nights.if i suggested a walk he would say that he hadnt a notion of going for a walk. even though he wouldnt be after seeing me all week i would never be alone with him sat nite(as we always went out in a group) until we went to bed.

we had a wedding in september and he said that after the wedding he would quieten down and watch dvds on sunday and go to places and this didnt happen.

on two sundays he said we would go out horseriding only for him to cancel and say we would go to the pub to meet his friends. i wouldnt say anything because there was alot of rowing in my last relationship.however i got sick of this and after one sunday i said to him all you've taken me to is the pub, i'm sick of the pub all day sunday and that 2 hours on a sunday would be no problem but not all day and he said that it was his lifestyle and thats what he likes to do. when i said about changing our plans and not following through on plans he said that he could hold his hand up to it but it was hard to fit everything in.

so i ended it and i am completely devastated as we talked about there being something there for us in the future and how much we loved each other and how happy we made each other..he said he hadnt been this happy in years and i was very happy with him only i was sick of only going to the pub.. im feeling very low and down and i cant stop thinking about him and all the things he said to me or were they all lies?did i do the right thing in ending the relationship?how can i get over him?

mylittlepony

Yes.
He's selfish.
He never ever try to do things for you. (As far as i know from your post, execept for one trip to cinema)
You did what he wanted to do, the pubs/niteclubs in a group.
No alone time, no dates, dinners out or in, walks, horseriding.
It was a non-starter.

Cheap Thrills!

Ahh OP, that's sad but it sounds like he is an alcoholic

I think you did the right thing, you really didn't have any choice...the rest of your life would have ended up revolving around the pub.

I wouldn't say any of the nice things he told you were lies, he probably had the best of intentions but the alcohol got in his way.

Mind yourself and I hope you feel better soon.

Curry Addict

hes going out with the pub/drink, your the bit on the side, time to bail.

magneticimpulse

There might have been more to his previous relationship...maybe he drank alot then and was selfish?? I find it hard to believe that if he was Mr. wonderful it ended the way he did?

I think you followed your gut feeling and that told you this relationship was wrong for you. Fair play for doing that, because alot of people dont listen to deep inside. He said he would do stuff on Sundays with you and let you down...if he couldnt be bothered to make an effort for you, he is not worth it.

Be strong, yeah it will be hard over the next few days...but im sure over the next few weeks you will be back to your normal self. Get out with friends or some social groups like meetup.com