First date from dating site...yikes!!!

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

I'm a 28 year old girl who recently came out of an 8 year relationship.
I feel ready to start dating again and recently joined plenty of fish ...cringe!!!

My flatmate is on it and he's had tons of dates so I thought why not?!

Anyway, I got chatting to a really cute guy on Monday. We just talked about music, movies etc. Last night I took charge and asked him if he wanted to meet for a pint. I just don't see the point ins ending messages back and forth all week, we might aswell do the inevitable and meet up. He replied....yeah...cool....lets go ona date but he didn't suggest a time, place or anything which makes me think he's not very assertive. i did the asking and now I have to do the suggesting/setting up too!

This might sound big headed but I'm a very good looking girl but I feel like this makes me seem desperate which I'm not.

I want to ask, would you find a girl you met on a dating site attractive or would you always think...uughh...we met online!!!

Am i being stupid here?
shoule he have suggested a time etc...

MaxPower89

how big headed of you...:D

Think you are reading way too much into it tbh, who cares where you met, in doesnt matter one bit. I find the ones that slag are the single ones who cant get a date! so i see it as jealously.

Dont know how your room mate went on all these dates from it though...I found it so depressing, spend an hour writing emails and then get no replies..or a 'read deleted'...:(

Maybe i should give it another go.

Maybe he should of suggested a time...maybe not, I wouldnt worry about it though, just go for a drink and see. It its not working, then make your excuses and leave..Enjoy it!

LegacyUser

Thanks Max:)

I'm just gonna suggest a pub and hope for the best.
As you said if it's not for me I can just leave, nothing ventured etc etc

Mayeb you should give it another shot. My flatmate has gone on about 5 dates in the last few months. As a girl my advice to you would be not to try too hard. I get tons of messages but most of them are either very strange....stuff like....hey baby, ur hot.....or they are very long and unoriginal.
My advice would be...keep it short and sweet, don't use text speak, don't comment directly on the girls appearance, say something like...cool dress or I like your style but don't say you're gorgeous, hot etc.

Good luck:)

kmick

I dont see an issue with anything you did. I would imagine though there are a lot of online daters out there that would be happy never to meet up with anybody! You just need to find someone who is a bit more sociable. Keep trying. I am sure online dating is no more successful than regular dating.

LegacyUser

Hi OP! Who cares how you met, it sounds like you are really embarrassed at trying online dating. Why should you be? It's just another way to meet people and there's nothing to be ashamed of. You don't have to tell anyone else if you don't want to but it doesn't matter at all and it shouldn't be something to dwell on.

Give it a go and see how ye get on. He might just be a bit shy so don't worry who did the asking out. I asked my OH out and we're together years now, he was a quiet one initially but once he came out of his shell I realised just how much craic he is! Lots of luck!

weiland79

Datedebate wrote: »

I want to ask, would you find a girl you met on a dating site attractive or would you always think...uughh...we met online!!!

My brother met his wife online, It's a brave new world out there.

jethrothe2nd

There isn't anything socially unacceptable about internet dating. Different things work for different people - it may or may not work for you, but you won't know if you don't give it a go. Worked for me - I met my fiancee 3 years ago online, and we are getting married in April. Not one bit ashamed or embarrassed to say I met her online.

Distorted

I think with online dating, if you're unlucky, you have to kiss a lot of frogs first...

I tried it very briefly a few years back and quickly decided it wasn't for me and decided not to date. But in that time, I replied to a few of the decent sounding men that messaged me. One did exactly the same as yours, suggested a date without place or time, then when pressed stated a date, changed his mind, changed it back, asked me what I thought, changed his mind again and then changed it back again. So we were set for Sunday or whatever but he couldn't decide what to do - drinks in a pub, watch a band, go cycling even. I suggested things and then he changed his mind and decided on something else. Then the night before he changed his mind again and decided to go for a long walk in the hills. At this point I bailed. I didn't need a date to tell me we wouldn't be compatible. I got an arsy text back too!

Then there was the horsy chap who emailed me. I mentioned I was doing a showjumping competition in two weeks time and he said he might come and watch me. Note he didn't ask if it would be all right to come and watch me. Then he stopped emailing and I assumed he'd lost interest and forgot about him. So I was at my show, just came out the ring after the jump off in the lead, and cooling down my horse in the very busy warm up ring and this fat man on a nice horse but one which was obviously not a showjumper, said to me "Have you fallen off?". I didn't really know what to say so just sort of smiled at him and went past. It was only later that I realised it was the chap off the internet dating site!

Whereas all the men I've met "in real life" for dates including my current boyfriend have been nice, interesting, normal and know the score. Also I think online dating makes you lazy and stop bothering to talk to people in real life, which is how you end up getting dates usually anyway.

kjl

No offence OP, but if you are so good looking, what are you doing on a dating website in the first place?

Tchaikovsky

kjl wrote: »

No offence OP, but if you are so good looking, what are you doing on a dating website in the first place?

That's a bit harsh in fairness.
This is just another avenue to dating and, although there may be a lot of confusing people online, there are some gems.
Best of luck with the date!

purplekitty

I'm an attractive female, 25... and i met my future husband on plenty of fish!
he doesnt have any issue with the fact we met online.
i was living in the country at the time and literally had no friends in an area that i didnt know, so online dating was a perfect solution for me.
we do get a bit "Err... we met online!" sometimes. but on whole people respond positively.

what.... did you expect only ugly people to go online dating?

Dean820

Pics or GTF....damn I wish this was AH.

Personally I would be embarrassed to tell people I met my girlfriend or wife online but thats me, I'm very shallow.

Sgt Pepper 64

I've always thought, how is meeting someone online, so different from meeting someone in a pub or club?

You see them, and then start talking - normally slightly pissed!
(Not a good idea - few past mistakes there!)

Well online, if they put up a true pic, you know what they look like.

And just because you meet them in a pub, thats no more a guarantee that they are a nutter, than the online person.
In fact you are more likely to take precautions meeting an online date than some random date in a pub.

And is saying "We meet in a pub", really any less cool than saying we met online?
Surely its no less cool than having 20 million friends on facebook?!

Just go for it, it may be crap, you might get stood up and then get talking to someother guy who is THE one, who knows?
Got to be better than wondering....

Arthurdaly

most of these threads read "im very good looking and unlucky in love", they turn out to be the lead actress from throw mama from the train!!!

parker kent

I imagine the guy was probably wary of coming across as too forward, so that could explain the hesitancy. Also, online or text conversations are always full of crossed wires and often people are much better at in-conversations. I know that even chatting with friends in emails, it can easily happen.

Also, there is a strong chance that if you have a picture up and are obviously very good good looking, he might be nervous chatting with you. He might not believe his luck yet

As a guy, I would not care where I met a beautiful girl; pub, club, online or in Tescos! There should be no stigma attached. So have fun and don't worry about it at all. It is not any more desperate than heading out to a pub or club with the intention of meeting somebody. I'd actually say it is less so. It is just another way of meeting people. I did give it a go myself and had a handful of dates, but the numbers game was not in my (or any guys) favour. But that is very much in your favour!

calex71

See this is the problem with online more can be read into things than there should be. OP did you even talk on the phone with him? I'd do that 1st before even thinking about meeting him.

I can side with you on your "assertive" point, nothing worse than asking some one what do you want to do and being told "Whatever you want to do" so annoying.