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Plan to reduce spending by 25% to keep the IMF out.

  • 22-10-2010 12:58am
    #1
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 93,581 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Back in the 1940's there was a economic plan proposed that we could use today to save us.

    THE BROTHER has it all worked out.
    What?
    The war. How we can get through the war here in the Free State. I mean the rationing and the brown bread and all that class of thing. The brother has a plan. Begob you'll be surprised when you hear it. A very high view was taken when it was explained in the digs the other night.
    What is the nature of this plan?
    It's like this. I'll tell you. We all go to bed for one week every month. Every single man, woman and child in the country. Cripples, drunks, policemen, watchmen - everybody. Nobody is allowed to be up. No newspapers, 'buses, pictures, or any other class of amusement allowed at all. And no matter who you are you must be stuck inside in the bed there. Readin' a book of course, if you like. But no getting up stakes.
    That strikes me a curious solution to difficulties in this dynamic iron age.
    D'ye see, when nobody is up, you save clothes, shoes, rubber, petrol, coal, turf, timber and everything we're short of. And food too, remember. Because tell me this - what makes you hungry? It's work that makes you hungry. Work and walking around and swallying pints and chawin' the rag at the street corner. Stop in bed an' all you'll ask for is an odd slice of bread. Or a slice of fried bread to make your hair curly, says you. If nobody's up, there's no need for anybody to do any work because everybody in the world does be workin' for everybody else.
    I see. In a year therefore you would effect a saving of twenty-five per cent in the consumption of essential commodities.
    Well now, I don't know about that, but you'd save a quarter of everything, and that would be enough to see us right.
    But why get up after a week?
    The bakers, man. The bakers would have to get up to bake more bread, an if wan is up, all has to be up. Do you know why? Because damn the bit of bread your men the bakers would make for you if the rest of us were in bed. Your men couldn't bear the idea of everybody else being in bed and them working away in the bakery. The brother says we have to make allowances for poor old human nature. That's what he called it. Poor old human nature. And begob he's not far wrong.
    Very interesting. He would do well to communicate this plan to responsible Government department.
    You're not far wrong there yourself. Bye-bye, here's me bus!

    (from Cruiskeen Lawn, in The Irish Times, during The Emergency. Available in Flann O'Brien's "The Best of Myles")


Comments

  • #2
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,582 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    Does this mean there's no tunnel? :(


  • #3
    Sheeps
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,763 ✭✭✭Sheeps


    TheZohan wrote: »
    Does this mean there's no tunnel? :(
    Woah, lets not jump to conclusions here.


  • #4
    policarp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,667 ✭✭✭policarp


    Yeh! And in 9 months time the country will be crippled with childrens allowance claims.


  • #5
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    If the IMF get a hold of this country we are fcuked. :eek:


  • #6
    stoneill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,609 ✭✭✭stoneill


    Mary Harney stated that 70% of the HSE budget is in wages - this can't be right? 70% of €4.9 billion in 2009. How many people are employed in the HSE?


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  • #7
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    stoneill wrote: »
    Mary Harney stated that 70% of the HSE budget is in wages - this can't be right? 70% of €4.9 billion in 2009. How many people are employed in the HSE?
    Time now to get the crows out of the chimney, same goes for CIE.


  • #8
    Yakult
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭Yakult


    *Hits reset button*


    If it were only as easy :(


  • #9
    policarp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,667 ✭✭✭policarp


    Run_to_da_hills wrote: »
    Time now to get the crows out of the chimney, same goes for CIE.

    What's CIE doing in the chimney? :confused:


  • #10
    whatdoicare
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭whatdoicare


    I'm not buying into this...what if I have to pee??


  • #11
    Bob Z
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,587 ✭✭✭Bob Z


    Why is everyone so frightened of IMF? They make great furniture? .......no wait that's MFI:D


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  • #12
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    stoneill wrote: »
    Mary Harney stated that 70% of the HSE budget is in wages - this can't be right? 70% of €4.9 billion in 2009. How many people are employed in the HSE?

    Way too many un productive people on high salaries who will not be sacked or have to take pay cuts because of the Croke Park agreement.:rolleyes:
    Instead, services and front line staff are in the firing line, you really ****ed it up FF and Hearney.:mad:


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