How to change the eating habbits of your family....

LegacyUser

What the title says really, just looking for tips on how to help change my family's lifestyle. They get takeaways, eat white bread, processed foods, junk food, fizzy drinks, little or no vegetables/fruit. Parents are both 2-3 stone overweight, little sister who's 11 is around 2 stone overweight(which kills me inside).It really worries me beacause she performs poorly at school, has very little confidence and has low self asteem. She never talks to anyone outside the family! It really worries me because I tried discussing with the parents about her diet before and while they agree with me, they don't do anything about it. They just say she won't eat any healthy stuff. Just putting this out there to see if anyone else was in my situation before and have had any success. Thanks.

spinandscribble

My family are pretty bad when it comes to diet, I was never overweight but when I left home I lost weight rapidly as I was cooking for myself so I guess my metabolism must have been naturally strong. I slipped up the last few years but lately I've been been weaning myself off the really REALLY bad stuff but it has left me a bit angry so I can relate to your post.
What age are you op? Are you also overweight or do you prepare your own food? I know your sisters young but you should approach her and ask if she'd like to cook with you. theres lots of tasty healthy food out there and fun/quick to make. It sounds as thought its a diet of easiness for your parents. I don't know if you're still at home but you could sort the food for you and your sister. You can't change your parents but you can help your sister.
Your sister might be shy but if it bothers her and she wants to change use your older sisterly/brotherly influence to help them.

LegacyUser

spinandscribble wrote: »

My family are pretty bad when it comes to diet, I was never overweight but when I left home I lost weight rapidly as I was cooking for myself so I guess my metabolism must have been naturally strong. I slipped up the last few years but lately I've been been weaning myself off the really REALLY bad stuff but it has left me a bit angry so I can relate to your post.
What age are you op? Are you also overweight or do you prepare your own food? I know your sisters young but you should approach her and ask if she'd like to cook with you. theres lots of tasty healthy food out there and fun/quick to make. It sounds as thought its a diet of easiness for your parents. I don't know if you're still at home but you could sort the food for you and your sister. You can't change your parents but you can help your sister.
Your sister might be shy but if it bothers her and she wants to change use your older sisterly/brotherly influence to help them.

Thanks for the reply.., I'm not overweight, I was overweight, but like you, when I went to college I lost it because I started cooking for myself and eating healthily. I became more aware about how important your diet is. I've tried to approach her before but she won't listen, I really have tried. I'm equally aware of her becoming too self conscious about what she eats, this is how alot of kids develop eating disorders. I've tried telling her she should he some fruit instead of crisps/sweets, brown bread instead of white, eat some vegetables, eggs, meats instead of the pizza and takeaways. I'm not around much anymore because as I already mentioned, I'm in college. At the end of the day I realise that it comes down to my parents(my mother especially) to stop bring junk food and fizzy drinks into the house and stop giving it to her for lunch. I tried so hard explaining to my mother that a big part of her doing poorly at school is her diet and also her confidence and self asteem is low because of the extra weight shes carrying. Her reply os always 'she won't eat anything else', 'Iv'e tried', 'lots of familys drink fizzy drinks/eat junk food'', 'lots of kids are overweight when they're young'' etc. It drives me nuts, it really does.I just don't know what I can do anymore.

calex71

Set an example OP maybe? Cook when you go there. I was the same when I left home years ago and saw what was being offered up at home when I went back :eek:

10 years on they know how to do spag bol and work fresh vegetables in , they even got a peeler

Edit: No Idea what they are eating when im not there but at least when I visit I don't get a sodium meal laced with saturated fats

Beruthiel

Familyproblem wrote: »

They just say she won't eat any healthy stuff.

That's a cop out comment.
If they had been feeding her healthy food from day one, then of course she would have eaten it, she wouldn't have known the difference.
No offence, but this is your parents fault and probably down to pure laziness on their part.

Persistence and a bit of effort is the key.
Have your parents got cooking skills?
If not, then a simple cookery book like Jamie Olivers "Ministry of Cooking" would be a good place to start.
You can also find him on Youtube, which is handy for walking you through the process.
Before your weekly shopping, decide what kind of meal you are going to have each day.
Make a list of the food required for those meals and just cut out buying the crap.
Your sister will protest strongly to start with, but as the weeks go on and she starts to get used to it, she will settle down and accept.
A treat of the crap food can be served up every fortnight of so.
All in all, it can be done and requires forethought and persistence on your parents part.

Have your parents considered the health problems they are bestowing on their daughter by causing her body and heart to carry all this extra weight at such a young age?
I know I would be wracked with guilt if I thought for one second that my laziness when preparing food for my daughter caused her to get diabetes for instance.

When I first left home, my cooking skills weren't great. Cookery books and a bit of effort is all it takes.
I have now gotten to the stage where my own cooked food is better than anything you would waste your money on in a take away.
What I'm trying to say here is that this is not rocket science and can easily be done.
You could start them off by cooking a meal a week.

We have a great cooking forum here on this site which will also help.

dan_d

Beruthiel's advice is excellent.

I'm a good eater, come from a family of very food-conscious people. Can't recommend the Ministry of Food book enough - I often use it myself. It's simple, easy, quick, inexpensive, ordinary and (mostly) healthy stuff. Jamie Oliver lays everything out at the start of the book, explains the basics of what you should have in your cupboards and then off you go. I don't know if you're aware, but it was developed when he ran a project in a town in England to make people aware of what they were eating and to change it...so it's probably exactly what you want.

And the pictures and family stories in it of people exactly like your family will probably drive the point home. Maybe you could buy it and use it yourself when at home, or else give it to your mum or sister as a Christmas/birthday present??

Your diet is so important. It could be the thing that stops you getting some forms of cancer, helps with your mood, your concentration levels, everything. It's not too late for your little sister, if you can get her to change her eating habits, it might just be the best thing you could ever do for her.

Good luck OP, and she's lucky to have someone who cares.

smelltheglove

Myself and my hubbie are terrible unhealthy eaters. I dont enjoy food very much and do get too much take away, he likes a lot of crisps and chocolate. But when it comes to my kids it is a different story. My eldest would eat a plate of veg no hassles, yougnest is more of a meat person, in fact from baby food she always turned away from veg, the odd time she will have a veg soup, the recipie for which I had to request from the local hotel as it was the only place she would eat veg soup from and I was broke bringing her there constantly to get some good food into her. Both of mine love their fruit. I am quite strict on the fizzy drinks. I am pure example that fizzy drinks are addictive and I dont allow my kids to have any, even if Im drinking some, I tell them I dont want them to be like mammy. This may be a way to approach your parents, ask them do they want your sister to have the same habits as them.

Anyway my point is, you may have a hard time convincing your parents to change their eating habits but why not just focussing on them changing her eating habits. Show them how easy it can be to make her a good meal, something I have found brilliant on days when I have been working late and no time to make a good dinner, Superquinn do fresh mash, my youngest adores mash and gravy so if I dont have time I can just stop by pick up a pack and have dinner ready for her in 10 mns, she would usually have either mince in gravy or a bit of steak with this, dinner is done inside 10mns and little cleaning. If you get them started on something simple like that they may find they enjoy a healtheir meal and try it for themselves over time, cooking it from scratch.

Each time you stop by you could teach them something new, how long does it take to make a stir fry, or spag bol, even lasagne can be made fresh in minutes, it is soo easy and with your sister getting older she will be able to cook herself before too long. My 8 yr old has already started making things herself although these are generally easier things like nuggets and waffles etc but even showing your sister how to do this would be better for her tan take out.

Beruthiel

smelltheglove wrote: »

Superquinn do fresh mash

Fresh mash? 100% potato with no preservatives, salt etc..?

My 8 yr old has already started making things herself although these are generally easier things like nuggets and waffles

I would consider both those food products to be crap and full of preservatives and salts.

Nevyn

If her diet is not good then she will be missing out on vitmains which she needs.
I would suggest popping into boots and looking at thier range of kids health supplements.
Barrets do one which is a jelly, have had my kids taking them as they had a heavey cold right after a tummy bug, there are also ones with added fishoils which can help with consentration. It's not a soluation but it's a start and they are not that dear.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. Beruthiel, your right, what my Mother said is a kop out. She got my sister into this eating pattern and it is know up to her to get her out of it. That's exactly my reply every single time, but she keeps falling back on it, ''she won't eat anything else!'' I think her lack of understanding in nutrition is a major problem. She thinks pizza, waffles, sausages, beans(processed), white bread sandwiches, sugary cereals, fizzy drinks, take aways, McDonalds etc. are acceptable things to eat just because it satisfies my sister and she dosen't go hungry. Thaedydal, I have actually suggested to my Mother on numerous occasions to buy fish oil supplements and vitimans for her to take in the morning. She agrees that would be no problem, but still never bloody bothers to get them. It really infuriates me, it's like they don't even acknowledge her diet is the cause of her low self asteem. They get pay for special help for her once a week and encourage her to join sports and societies etc. They are good parents at heart but it's clear as day to me they're tackling the issues in the wrong way as it is her diet that is the underlying cause of her problems. It's so infuriating that they can't/refuse to see this and actually do something about it.

smelltheglove

Beruthiel wrote: »

Fresh mash? 100% potato with no preservatives, salt etc..?



I would consider both those food products to be crap and full of preservatives and salts.

Fresh mash by Superquinn yes. There mos tlikely is a bit of salt and butter int he mash but the majority of people do this themselves. I am trying to give the OP some help in improving a diet of take aways, do you not think these options are better than take aways??? i'd prefer to give my child some Superquinn mash with some fresh meat and gravy when I come home from work at 6pm rather than pick up a happy meal on the way.

Anyway in allowing my child to make herself a lunch once or twice a week I am teaching her to be independent, she can now make herself toast, waffles, sausage rolls, pizza, nuggets, beans, hoops never mind the more traditional cereal and fruit salads that she has been able to make for a few years now. Unfortunately the more healthy options are still a bit complicated for an 8 yr old.

I was never taught to make food for myself when I was young and had a parent who pretty much couldnt cook. We ate chips from the frying pan 5 days a week with mini pizzas or burgers, the odd time a bit of overdone steak or chicken. The fridge was stocked with soft drinks and presses packed with crisps and chocolate. I have developed terrible habits from it, habits I do not want my kids to have which is why they often eat better dinners than I do, and are being taught to make things for themselves so as they enjoy food and cooking.

John Mason

smelltheglove wrote: »

. My 8 yr old has already started making things herself although these are generally easier things like nuggets and

:eek::eek:
i hope you mean, she cuts up fresh chicken breasts, double dips in egg and wholemeal flour and bakes them in the oven ?

OP, there is nothing you can do about your parents but you work on your sister.

if she will only eat crap - fine, show her how to make her own chicken nuggets and oven cooked sweet potato wedges etc.

for every single junk food there is a really simple healty version which tastes 100% better and without the all the chemicals.

if you are not going to be there, why dont you cook up a load of food for her, leave it labeled in the fridge and all she has to do is heat it up (i do this all the time )

Nevyn

Those basset jellys are bout a fiver in boots and it's a 30 day course, why not pick up a box yourself and give them to her?

smelltheglove

irishbird wrote: »

:eek::eek:
i hope you mean, she cuts up fresh chicken breasts, double dips in egg and wholemeal flour and bakes them in the oven ?

Joking right?:o Honestly though, her daddy is a chef and has shown her how to do this but when he shows her how to cook things he is always supervising and is really good at it, haha Im not so good. She wants to learn to make spag bol but I think I will leave it a while for that.

I agree though, nuggest and wedges cooked at home, even if they are birds eye with loads of salt or whatever is put in them, when they are cooked in the oven they are a hell of a lot better than the likes of mcds or bk meals.

spinandscribble

I think op you need to cook for her for a weekend you're home. Just let your mom let her know you'll be cooking for her for the weekend because moms busy. Try and come up with easy tasty meals that she could help prepare. Theres low carb options of plenty of kid favorites such as pizza for example you just need to get handy with eggs. DON'T bring up her weight or say anything like its better then the stuff she eats, its better to have positive reinforcement. Put the food in front of her. Shes 11, at the end of the day she should be eating what shes given. theres low carb desserts you can make to make her see there are treats she can have occasionally.
The crux of the issue is your parents diet. If my mom went on a diet when I was a kid it meant less sweets in the house. if theres nothing there the kid can't really eat it. I know its really frustrating but with you out of the house most of the time there is very little you can do. Make sure your sister knows you'll help her when she's ready.

kylith

irishbird wrote: »

:eek::eek:
i hope you mean, she cuts up fresh chicken breasts, double dips in egg and wholemeal flour and bakes them in the oven ?

OP, there is nothing you can do about your parents but you work on your sister.

if she will only eat crap - fine, show her how to make her own chicken nuggets and oven cooked sweet potato wedges etc.

for every single junk food there is a really simple healty version which tastes 100% better and without the all the chemicals.

if you are not going to be there, why dont you cook up a load of food for her, leave it labeled in the fridge and all she has to do is heat it up (i do this all the time )

I was just about to suggest the above. If she eats burgers then it's just some fresh mince, garlic, herbs, and an egg to bind it together, nuggets as above. Suggest that instead of going to the chipper ye try making the food yourselves at home; breaded fish, oven wedges and mushy peas can definitely be cooked in less time than it takes to get a take away.

dan_d

Pasta and a can of chopped tomatoes, with a bit of dried basil/red wine/peas whatever, thrown in.

The ultimate fast food, tastes good too as a really quick dinner.

Why would you make sure your kids eat healthily and not yourself? Surely you want to be around to see them grow up??

I don't touch a single thing from a box or packet, no matter how healthy it supposedly is. I'd say BK or McD happens about 3 times a year. The odd time (once a month) I have dinner by throwing a jar of sauce over meat and some veg. Everything is made from scratch, and that book I mentioned is great for that.

It's a whole lot cheaper too!!

seamus

To get back to basics, the only reason your sister "won't" eat healthy food is because the unhealthy food is available.

She's a child. She has very little sense of self-control or forward planning, so her eating habits are based around gratification. Most people's are. If I'm making myself a cup of tea and I know there are biscuits in the press, well then by christ I'm going to take a biscuit.

If there are no biscuits in the press in the first place, then I can't have one, problem solved.

It's up to your parents here to change their lifestyle as well as your sister's. Your sister is never going to eat healthily while your parents don't because the house is going to be full of unhealthy food that she'd going to want to eat.

All you can really do is continue to appeal to your parents while setting a good example. Presumably as an older sister in college, your little sister looks up to you and considers you "cool". You might be able to leverage this - take her aside and discuss the importance of healthy eating with her. Go easy on the visual aspects - girls around her age are very susceptible to becoming obsessive about their appearance - and focus more on the health aspects.

At the very least if you can convince your sister that eating less sweets at home and drinking more water and less cokes and the like, will make her grow up like her big sister, then she may be inclined to improve her eating habits, even slightly. At her age, any improvement in diet will cause the weight to fall off.

Also encourage her perhaps to take up a sport - hockey or camogie. That way she'll be doing more exercise and will have less time to eat stuff.

Neyite

Would you consider inviting your sister over for a weekend every once in a while and shop for and cook something nice and wholesome for lunch and dinner both days as part of a grown up girlie weekend - it might be a gentle way to lead by example, and may not make her feel as self conscious? if you introduce her to foods that are healthy, and show her the basics of say, a pasta, she might request it at home.

i agree with other posters that your mum and dad need to stop buying crap, i can see if they are working and tired when they get home its tempting to take the easy option -but there are ways to compromise here.

i cook in bulk because i am working full time and studying too, so once or twice a week the big pot comes out - shepherds pies, lasanges, spag bol, stews, soup, jambalaya (thanks for the recepie Thaed:D) Curries, all home made in big quantities and ready for freezing. then i take out whatever i fancy for the dinner before work to defrost, and dinner is a 5 min prep.
is this something you could help your mum to start up as a weekend habit?

LegacyUser

First of all, thanks for all of the advice. But I should have clarified a few things about my relationship with my sister. I am her older brother, not her sister, and she does not view me as her role model or look up to me, if she had done, I would sure as hell of used that as a starting point. The situation is alot more complicated than it would seem, she is very stubborn for an 11 year old. She's not open to trying new foods, anytime she sees me eating healthy foods she comments 'eww whats that' or something along those lines. She is an extremely picky eater, and I think, or rather I know, she gets this from her Mother, who is the ultimate picky eater. I have pleaded with my Mother to stop bring junk into the house. I explained to her, if it's not there, she can't eat it. When I get back Home I get so angry when I see the press full of junk and the fridge full of soft drinks. Last time I was home I actually poured all of the soft drinks down the drain and threw the junk in the bin. It wasn't the right thing to do but I felt I just had to do something about the situation. The worst thing about the whole thing is that my grandfather(Mother's Father) had diabetes and died from it(RIP). I really don't want either my Mother or my Sister to end up this way and feel I have to do something about it. It's too easy to just stand by and do nothing.

kylith

Unfortunately you can't force people to change. If you have a family history of diabetes then that can be used as a lever to encourage people to change their habits, but if you start nagging and throwing out food then they'll probably just adopt a 'frak you' attitude.

Maybe it would help if you talked to your family about your fears for all their health, or (ISTR you saying that you lost weight yourself) saying that your doctor telling you that you were headed towards diabetes, heart disease and an early death is what spurred you to change your habits. Or even pointing out overweight people on telly, making sure you watch 'Supersize v Superskinny', stuff like that.

thefeatheredcat

OP,

You've done your best to try and bring this to their attention, but they are living in denial.

Even if heaven forbid one of them should have medical problems as a result, it's not going to change things.

It's sad, but it's true and I've seen this with my own family too.

Short of making them go on the show 'Fat Families' the only thing that you can do is reinforce and back up what you are saying. They will get sick of you saying it so be careful that you don't ruffle their feathers too much. It's a valid concern regarding your sister - if she has low self-esteem now it will effect her as she gets older, especially going into secondary school.

You can't make your family change; you can demonstrate to them what other options there are for them and when you come home introduce different foods to them that they don't normally have and cook for them. They will have to look at ways of dealing with their daughter. But it's up to them to take the steps to change together. How it's going to come about is only when something very serious happens that is beyond a medical problem. But it should be addressed long before then.

Have you all sat down together and talked openly about doing grocery shopping? Is it one individual that does it or is it something that is done together? If your sister goes along, she can see what other foods there are out there and maybe curiosity would get the better of her.
And have you sat down and talked about all this openly properly and how each member of the family feels about it? I would suspect that a picky eater has a negative attitude to food reinforced by another negative. And a poor diet and the wrong foods can contribute not just to weight gain but also to poor mental health. Maybe it's time for an open discussion on this and associated feelings on what you've mentioned?