drugs and reverting ?

LegacyUser

Hi Im unreged for this.

Past few months have been tough on me actually the past years been pretty out of this world. everything; I've wanted has came to me. Which is great, I diserved it.

But I find my self in limbo of who I was and who i am.
About two years ago i made a real smart dession stopped smoking weed/hash.. I went from strength to strength. while receaving councilling leaped for wards with in my life got a tattoo to remind me off what that nasty substance can do to me. To my mentle health. it continues to this day.

drug abuse has always been with in me partly for escapeisim partly due to my love of being stoned. I moved in with a mate into an appartment and started smoking again its affected me and some what put a dent on who I am. well i fell like it has.

I find it difficult to work through my feelings and thoughts I become iratic depressed, to a degree I critsise my self bully my self its nto a good buzzbut yet i still smoke, all those signs of some one on drugs, I thought i could for a lack of a better handle my inner demon but i can't its so hard for me. i want more and more and more. Im dissapointed in my self, I have let my self down.

I was doing so well i wa so happy so proud of how far id gone, and whats it all been for .... me to turn round role up and start smoking all over again.

My fammily were impressed my mum my dad all no how hard i worked to beat this problem and i was doing so well. i gave into temptaion.

Currently Im trying to pick up the peaces around me, as in once again trying to stop. I find it very hard to relax. i find hard aat the moment to even focus in college.. i feel faustrated at my self and the way Ive been beheaving I was so happy and now im just unhappy peopel i live with are constantly rowing it hard to even live with them.

I just feel as tho i made some massive misteakes about my personal life in more ways then one the only reason i live where I live is because the rents cheep, and its a nice place to live warm dry accesabilitys etc I dont want to move tho the people i live with issues i feel are rubbing of me..

I cant afford to move and wityh the looming buget and the chance of My BTEA beingcut i have to make my moves carefully. So essentailly I'm stuck were i am. I've littel support or well what feels like it. and im just feeling lost. about who i really am.

I just feel so week

Reason i feel in limbo is i never finsihed my councilling which is because I just couldnt afford it.

has one got any advice.

Thanks for reading.

kylith

The simple answer is that if you think smoking dope doesn't suit you then you should stop smoking it. If your flatmate is pressuring you into doing it then they're no friend. If it's just that you can't seem to stop yourself from smoking it when its around then the best thing is to remove either it or yourself from the situation, either ask your flatmate not to smoke around you, leave the room when he starts to smoke, or move out.

Would it be possible to move in with your parents for a while, or to ask them for help with the deposit for somewhere else?

deadpoet

Mods tend to close threads on the topic of drugs as soon as they see them because theres a large potential for people to encourage drug use and even if they arent condoning it, their advice will often seem like they are. So, I'll take this oppertunity to throw in my 2 cents before this occurs; it definitely will before the days end.

The easiest part of discontinuing your drug use is getting down to the point where you're not using. The most difficult part is being able to maintain that psychological nagging telling you "its just a spliff". Of course it can be "just a spliff" for some people, but weither its hash or heroin, coke or crack (I'm aware of the similarity), with anything in life it can be the breaking of you unless you are very experienced, have recovered before and are an extremely disiplined individual - which a lot of people (and I'm deliberately not using the term 'majority' here as thats frankly a myth from what I've experienced) are not when it comes to drugs because a vast amount of users are abusers. As with all things in life, vice or virtue, moderation is key.

I am not advocating drug use, however, if it is torturing you that much not smoking a spliff at weekends (lets say) and it doesnt affect your career, your relationships with people or your mental health then occasionally it may not be this hellish demon you've labelled it as. We should remember that there is quite a difference between the occasional smoke and letting it control and disrupt your life.

I dont know if I can say much more without coming across as pro-narcotic, but if you want to PM me you can and I can show you a place where you can get better advice on this issue as I must respect the rules of the boards.

I wish you all the best brother - and please, let the first move you make be to stop bullying yourself about this so much, though I do appreciate this is a paramount concern for you. Be well.

Missgoggles

OP

Dont beat yourself up so much. You gave up once, you can give up again. The key is positive thinking. Acknowledge and accept that you've slipped up but dont put yourself down about it! Know that getting stoned doesnt suit you. Accept this and look forward to getting back to when you were off them and feeling great. Set yourself an achievable goal. Small steps are usually the way forward! Dont give up on yourself so easily. You made a mistake but you can fix it. You are in charge of your life. You are in charge of what you do to your body. And you are in charge of how to change your circumstances, even if it takes awhile. Tell yourself not to focus on the negative, and be positive towards yourself! May sound cheesy, but you are your worst critic and by giving yourself a much needed "you did good today" does help!
Your living situation may not be great, so instead of sitting in smoking with them or listening to their arguments, get out of the house and do stuff that make you feel good about yourself. If you cant afford counseling go to an AA meeting. You can just sit in and listen or join in if you want. That will show you that you are not alone in alcohol or drug abuse.
I wish you well!