ex BF

cheesey1

my ex and I are still in contact with each other, casual texting, like how are you, how's work etc. - last week he texted and told me that he had been lying naked in his bed a few times that week thinking of me. He called over last night and we watched the x factor results show and had casual conversations and he stayed the night.

I feel so secure with him and sex was like it was before no awkwardness between us he had to leave quite early as he has to drive 3 hours back to the city he works in.

My head is all confused I know what my heart wants and its him and he was talking about moving back to where we live early next year and at the same time I am afraid to ask him in case its not the answer I want to hear.

Squiggler

You haven't given any details about how, when or why you broke up, which makes it diffiult to comment.

But, from the little you have said, I've been in a similar situtation in the past and have seen friends deal with it too.

It doesn't tend to work out. There are reasons that you broke up in the first place, and the fact that you did break up hangs over the relationship, leading to insecurities. It's very easy to feel comfortable and relaxed with someone you've known intimately for a period of time, much easier than starting over, but you also know each others faults and flaws, and after a while the focus will return to them again.

Before you jump in with both feet you should take stock. Think about how the breakup happened and why. Has anything really changed? Could it happen again? Would you be able to handle it if it happened again? Is it worth risking wasting another 6 months, year or whatever that could be spent finding someone else?

As to his motives, he could have been bored or lonely, feeling nostalgic, genuinely missing you, merely horny, feeling sorry for himself, wanting to confirm that you were still available if he wanted you... any or all of the above or something else entirely.

Anyway, the only thing that really matters is how much you might be risking, and whether you think it is worth it.

Good luck.

Miss Fluff

It's hard to assess without you giving us some detail on what led to the break-up etc.

If you want to get back with him you need to stop sleeping with him though. That's a given. Adding sex to the equation will only confuse and complicate matters. There's no real reason for you to get back together and make it official when you are both having the enjoyment of doing coupley things and having sex but without any of the hassle that goes with a relationship is there?

Beruthiel

cheesey1 wrote: »

I am afraid to ask him in case its not the answer I want to hear.

Is firm knowledge not better than constant mental torture?
Ask him straight out if he wants to get back with you.
If he doesn't, cut all forms of contact with him, because right now you're just messing with your own head and wasting time.