want to find myself again

cookie2010

Hi everyone ,

Just wanted to share this see if it helps , Basically im 25 and just have found myself in a big black hole with no way out .

I got myself into a bit of debt when a few years ago , but finally after few years of torture and head spinning madness got it sorted out and gradually paying it off which i thought would take a massive load off , its did for while but yet still feel so down in the dumps . Last year my so called mother decided she was leaving my father of 25 years and me and my sister , and vanished into thin air with not a whisper or good bye .

Have also been with my boyfreind for 8 years and well that just does not seem to be going anywhere either , we moved in with each other last year after 7 years together and just felt like i was the one to force it really , and he going along for the sake of it , i mean we do nothing our weeks consist of going to work coming home having dinner and its the evening on front of the tv again . We have no real relationship and then i think well maybe its me as i have not been the most exciting person over the last year or so .

I used to be a very outgoing person , i ran with a club for years and was very fit and healthy , also captain of basketball team , now im about 4 stone over weight , smoking and have no goals or anything in life , and feel like my life is on pause right now , Ive tried picking myself back up started back painting ( love art ) , but that lasted all of a week and everything got shoved in the press . I even dont want to go out anymore or socialise and constantly feeling very very concious of my apperence im not a bad looking girl but just everytime i look at myself im not happy with my hair my weight , i feel like im wrapped in a bubble looking out at everyone else .

I cant even think of how to try pull myself back up and be happy and want to do things anymore . How can i get myself to a point where i feel like im living again .

Well thanks for listening

jessiejam

I dunno sunflower, I wouldn't be saying depressed per say, more down in the dumps.

Everyone can so easily get stuck in a rut, especially in long term relationships. Its so easy to do, taking each other for granted and loosing the spark that you once had. Then we start doubting our love for our OH's.

Why not start by taking baby steps. You were obv really fit once upon a time and good at playing basketball. Why not try go back to it, albeit slowly at first. Try and get your OH to join you in the gym once or twice a week?

You say you have no goals in life. Have you set yourself any goals?. Why not make getting fit your first goal, ditch the fags and take it from there. Who knows what might follow?

While your waiting for the fitness to happen go treat yourself to a makeover, it does wonders for the self esteem

Have you spoken to your father about the reasons your mother just up'ed and left?

cookie2010

jessiejam wrote: »

I dunno sunflower, I wouldn't be saying depressed per say, more down in the dumps.

Everyone can so easily get stuck in a rut, especially in long term relationships. Its so easy to do, taking each other for granted and loosing the spark that you once had. Then we start doubting our love for our OH's.

Why not start by taking baby steps. You were obv really fit once upon a time and good at playing basketball. Why not try go back to it, albeit slowly at first. Try and get your OH to join you in the gym once or twice a week?

You say you have no goals in life. Have you set yourself any goals?. Why not make getting fit your first goal, ditch the fags and take it from there. Who knows what might follow?

While your waiting for the fitness to happen go treat yourself to a makeover, it does wonders for the self esteem

Have you spoken to your father about the reasons your mother just up'ed and left?

Thanks for your reply , yeah guess its a case of being down in the jumps , got myself caught in a rutt and just not finding a way out of it and being in the same routine everday , and now realising that well u cant keep living like that , Yes have spoke to my father about my mother up and going and well he his not better off in knowing she does not speak to me my dad or my sister or even her own paretns or sisters just cut all communitcation .. so my dad has been left with the house , the bills ,etc by himself which he cant manage , i worry for him too .....

In regards to my OH , yes i do love him very much and couldnt not imagine being without him , i think the same thing we got into a routine of doing the same thing all the time and there is no motivation there and well to put it blunty just boring at the moment , dont get me wrong have tryed before to do different things and get out of the house and thats great for 2 weeks or so then back to the same lil routine again , and feeling the same way , its hard mentally to think right maybe this time we can do it ... guess my head is just in the air at the moment and trying to take on everything at once ..

jessiejam

I wouldn't mind having a little of your life
I work days and OH works nights and weekend nights, so we hardly see each other, and we have 2 kids.
So I would enjoy the boredom of vegging in front of the telly together now and then.

Everything in moderation i suppose.... lucky to have jobs bla bla bla ....

I suppose thats one of the reasons couples tend to take the relationship to the next level. Moving house, Marraige and kids etc. Not saying this is the route you should or mite take by any means.

But life is fairly boring when its the same ding dong day in day out. The only thing is to fill your evenings and weekend with things you enjoy, and things your both enjoy, whether its sports or socialising or whatever.

No wonder your head is in the air, your mother has just walked out on your father after 25 years. its normal believe me.