Possible solution - need opinions

LC2010HIS

Hey
By now Im sure you guys have all seen my threads.
I reflected alot last night and am thinking of an answer. It didnt help that a former guy i had 1 date with(not the ex i was telling you about), lashed out at me on facebook - came outta nowhere, a huge rant ...
Im beginning to think, everyone else cannot be the problem and maybe I am.
So, im considering moving to a new city for college next year to start over and give me something to work with ?
Do you think this is a good idea? I have few friends here who have moved on with their own college lives. I have no strings with any boyfriends etc.. ..
I only have family here...
Im considering sitting them down tonight to tell them my idea
Do you think starting over somewhere new would help me ?

I just feel people I know have made up their mind about me and I dont see myself getting on here tbh

Sorry for being annoying...

Moving from my home town to Dublin turned my life around at the same age as you. Not having any more ties (besides visiting my parents) with my home town has really freed me up to grow into the person I can be without the past dragging me down.

The only thing that worries me a bit is that it sounds like you may be trying to outrun your problems by moving far away from them. However, since the issues you are having are in your home town, this wouldn't be the worst way of moving on from them!

I remember you posted with issues you were having with your parents not respecting your privacy or giving you enough freedom. I don't know your parents, but it sounds like they may have a problem cutting the apron strings and letting you out into the world. You need to be firm that this is what you need to do. I lived with a similiar problem for two years when I first moved to Dublin, but it was grandparents and an uncle who were smothering me. Getting out from under the thumb of my family definitely changed my life for the better.

Good luck OP, wish you all the best in whatever route you decide to take!

starlit

Please don't feel like that. Fair enough you want to move on but changing to a new college/city well its your choice it has to be for you not for other people. It seems like you are running away, cause if you are that sort of thing will follow you, you need to burry all those things and push it aside and forget about it. Take up a new hobby, join something, meet new people don't throw away what you started in college if the course isn't right for you ya but you got your family and friends to think about too, they care about you. Main thing is to be happy but do things for you not to make other people happy or you think might be happier. Stop fussing as to what other people think, what they think is their business, you shouldn't be influenced by them even if they make you upset. You just move on, everyone does, you be a little bit upset for awhile but you will get over it in time and forget about it. You be amazed.

Try to focus on something else rather than serious relationships. Concentrate on college, your friends, your family and take up something like join the gym, just fill up your diary as much as you can. You feel so much better for it. Keeping busy is the way to forget about these things. Have a goal and something to look forward too like a Christmas job, holiday break somewhere or somthing. You know just be yourself and keep yourself busy and happy.

Best of luck OP!

Zen65

LC2010HIS wrote: »

Im beginning to think, everyone else cannot be the problem and maybe I am.
So, im considering moving to a new city for college next year to start over and give me something to work with ?

I suggest you focus now on getting a good LC. That really is your priority, and spending time on Boards or FB is not helping you. Don't dwell on moving to a new city for college, instead aim to get the college place that best suits your career or education interests. If it's in a new city, well and good; if it's near enough that you can live at home while you're in college then that would be a financial relief for your parents, and ultimately for you.

I think you dwell too much on your relationships. At your age these are just learning experiences, and you should not be analysing why they don't last forever. Be glad they don't.... your life will be all the better for having had the range of experiences which results from numerous short-term relationships. In time you acquire the social skills to know what you want, and to manage relationships to get what you want from people through clear, honest two-way communication and empathy.

Changing your life plans on the basis of your anxiety over that ex (from a year ago!!), or comments on FB by some other guy...... that smacks of immature and slightly reckless thinking on your part. You say in your posts that you're a strong and independent person, but the idea of running away to some other city to start over is really misplaced. Be strong, be independent. Focus your college choices on what's good for you in the long term, not where you might start relationships with guys. College relationships rarely last either, so if you focus unduly on those then you're destined for unhappiness.

Enjoy these years for what they are. Set yourself up for the best career / lifestyle you can, and don't let guys dictate your life choices for you.

Now put the internet away and do some study, you're just avoiding it!!


Be at peace,

Z

Miss Fluff

You're too young to be focussing all this energy on relationships OP. Time to knuckle down now to your school work. Give your exams your best shot and choose a college based on what course you want to do first and foremost.

And as an aside, yes moving far away from home to a new town is a great idea as it will allow you the space to flourish out on your own/make new friends/foster independence/develop your personailty on your own terms/experience different things that you wouldn't be able to experience if stuck at home....go for it.