For Those Interested in the Occult in Limerick

Garry Delaney Thomondgate · 15-10-2010 5:03pm #1

Hey guys! First time poster! I’m your average, run of the mill Thomondgater but recently myself and the extraordinary (the paranormal some may say) collided head on in a demented love affair.
It all started when myself and my friend <snip> sat down and watched “<snip>” followed by “<snip>” (which features a powerful performance from <snip>).
After watching these two spine-tinglers we decided to conduct our first séance. Naturally, we both soon became fascinated with the occult (obsessed some may say).
We spent days on end reading occult books and learning about the inner dimensions of hell and the demons that inhabit it. High on a willingness to learn, <snip> and a few cans of <snip> that <snip> got on the cheap down in the <snip> (10 cans for 5 euro or something ridiculous like that), we mastered the inner workings of hell and its structures.
Armed with open minds and a dark urge to embrace evil we tried to summon up all sorts of demented creatures, some of which were too hard for us to control.
After a few hours of attempts, are throats were as dry as a nun’s tit (high caffeine drinks are dehydrating) so I strolled down to <snip> shop to pick up some <snip> and <snip> vanilla ice cream so I could fix us two <snip> floats. I put waaaaaaay too much ice-cream in the glasses ( I hadn’t made them in ages) , so once the ice-cream chemically reacted with the fizz in the orange the pints overflowed and made a mess that took me about 15 minutes to clean up. Looking back, the trip to the shop was a complete waste of time.
By the time I had returned <snip> had reached a dimension of evil never before seen in Thomondgate. He was rolling around the ground speaking in tongues. I recorded his hellish rants while I tucked into a <snip> and sent the tapes to <snip> from <snip> newspaper for a small fee ( I threw 50 quid in the envelope) but she never got back to us.
I got onto <snip> translater and as far as I can see some creatures that <snip> banished to the underworld back at the dawn of time wants us to conduct a séance next Friday (the 22nd) on the Ballynanty soccer field (if not he said Catholic Institute hockey field could also work as a portal) so if anyone is interested in taking part in this experiment give me a bell at <snip>.
I’m only on the jobseekers so I may need a bit of help buying the supplies we need to open the portal between the two worlds (ouiji board, red candles, sacrifice etc.).
Sure give us a buzz anyway, I’m approachable, outgoing and friendly (there’s nothing I enjoy more then rocking out to <snip> on a Thursday night (officially Friday morning cause I don’t usually get in there until after 12), anyway, I’m always happy to make friends with new people, talk to ye later !!!

Berty · 15-10-2010 5:06pm

You dont happen to have black tracksuits and white runners. Sounds like your going to go out in a blaze of glory.

Bettlejuice Bettlejuice Bettlejuice

Insect Overlord · 15-10-2010 5:59pm

From the OP I have removed:

One personal mobile phone number
The names of several people
A long list of brand name products
The names of a shop, a school and a sports club
The name of a DJ and his residence.

Until I can figure out is the OP is being serious or not, I don't feel right about letting the removed items be associated with such bizarre messages

Berty · 15-10-2010 6:03pm

I was in the process earlier about reporting the post but I couldnt actually figure out what I was reporting.

Still very strange.

Shane_S · 15-10-2010 6:12pm

i heard about this through some of the lads i know(metallers) and apparently this is 100% going down! good bit of buzz about it on that scene apparently! not my thing but ill be following this closely!

Insect Overlord · 15-10-2010 6:14pm

Fair enough. I'm still not leaving the phone number be posted here, so anyone who's interested in this should PM the OP to make contact.

Shane_S · 15-10-2010 6:15pm

so are the locations and that staying down too? its a fairly important bit of it, i know but for the public who might be interested!

Jumpy · 15-10-2010 6:19pm

What the <snip> is going on in here?

Insect Overlord · 15-10-2010 6:26pm

Shane_S wrote: »

so are the locations and that staying down too? its a fairly important bit of it, i know but for the public who might be interested!

Okay, I've put the location of the séance back in.

Raiser · 15-10-2010 6:29pm

Jumpy wrote: »

What the <snip> is going on in here?

Well, from what I can gather - Some Folk are raising the most vile and evil Creatures that exist in the very very heart of the worst Dimensions of Hell and Insect Overlord has edited out all the brand names as a precaution

Gulp.

jay-me · 15-10-2010 6:45pm

Put the "hellish rants" on youtube.:rolleyes:

CiaranMT · 15-10-2010 7:15pm

Someone trying to out-do the Rubberbandits?

bazz26 · 15-10-2010 7:16pm

Do we get to kill some Zombies?

Raiser · 15-10-2010 7:26pm

bazz26 wrote: »

Do we get to kill some Zombies?

Zombies are a different breed of evil though aren't they?

- How does a Succubus fare on receiving a double shotgun blast to the face?

Icky Thump · 15-10-2010 7:57pm

Raiser wrote: »

Well, from what I can gather - Some Folk are raising the most vile and evil Creatures that exist in the very very heart of the worst Dimensions of Hell and Insect Overlord has edited out all the brand names as a precaution

Gulp.

do we not have enough of them running around pretending to be in the grand theft auto game alrready????:)

talkingclock · 15-10-2010 8:49pm

Be aware! Be aware! It's a trap! Ye all will be offered in the absence of some vestal virgins! In Ballynanty... *cough*

Xennon · 15-10-2010 10:59pm

You dont need anything more than a phone to contact the dark underworld.
Theyre all here:
<snip>

Insect Overlord · 15-10-2010 11:14pm

Does everything around here have to get political?
Jesus.

padma · 16-10-2010 7:12am

Next Friday, I will be conducting a special meditation in the field outside <snip> This is in response to a request from a higher being from the higher dimensions. I don't normally do these requests, but he say some kids have been playing around and have no idea what they are releasing on to the earthly plains. That said he says there is nothing to worry about, just bring four people together and a special meditation will happen to close all portals so the lower beings can stay where they are and not access a get out of jail free card.

Xennon · 16-10-2010 7:29am

Jeez Insect yer gone scissors mad!!:D

You dont need anything more than a phone to contact the dark underworld.
Theyre all here:
<snip>

The number was for Dail Eireann.

pappyodaniel · 16-10-2010 12:52pm

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Does everything around here have to get political?
Jesus.

AND DOES IT HAVE TO GET BLASPHEMOUS?!?

JerryHandbag · 16-10-2010 1:08pm

First UFOs and now this. Fascinating

RonMexico · 16-10-2010 1:56pm

This is hilarious.:D

Itsdacraic · 16-10-2010 2:26pm

we won't be laughing when they raise some mass murdering zombies from the dead and then forget how to send them back because Insect Overlord has <snipped> off the end of the instructions.

metamorphosis · 16-10-2010 4:23pm

Cheap cans
Ice cream floats
Creatures from hell been called on
Jobseekers

It all makes perfect sense to me tbh.

zuroph · 16-10-2010 4:54pm

I find this offensive to vasectomy patients.

Gneez · 16-10-2010 6:25pm

I'll put on my robe and wizard hat and be right there OP

Busi_Girl08 · 17-10-2010 9:39am

I think we're all missing the bigger picture here.

That bastard RUINED that ice-cream float :mad:

Kess73 · 18-10-2010 10:55am

Itsdacraic wrote: »

we won't be laughing when they raise some mass murdering zombies from the dead and then forget how to send them back because Insect Overlord has <snipped> off the end of the instructions.

Zombies are no bother. Those of us who frequent the zombie forum here on Boards are available for hire in the event of any zombie related incidents.:D

Raiser · 18-10-2010 11:12am

Itsdacraic wrote: »

we won't be laughing when they raise some mass murdering zombies from the dead and then forget how to send them back because Insect Overlord has <snipped> off the end of the instructions.

Garry Delaney Thomondgate · 20-10-2010 4:25pm

I have received many P.M.'s about this event. Hopefully the rugby match on Friday night wont deter people from coming. Spirituality or sport??? make ur choice.. 6 minutes past 6 on Friday night we'll meet outside Lidl and march over to the Catholic Institute hockey grounds.. LETS DO THIS!!! Dress appropriately, theres a nip in the air..

Raiser · 20-10-2010 4:34pm

Garry Delaney Thomondgate wrote: »

theres a knip in the air..

Is a Knip one of the Demons you've summoned from the fiery Crypts of Hell :eek:

Conor Bourke · 20-10-2010 4:37pm

What the HELL is a knip? :pac:

Ya beat me to it Raiser

Raiser · 20-10-2010 4:57pm

Alaskimo-cake wrote: »

What the HELL is a knip? :pac:

Its when its really cold and everyone can see your Knipples.

Insect Overlord · 20-10-2010 5:38pm

Garry Delaney Thomondgate banned for a week for editing an infracted post to add in more insults.

Grumpypants · 20-10-2010 5:39pm

I was confused reading the first post, after reading 3 pages im none the wiser. But i do like ice cream floats i had forgotten about them. I might have one later so its not a total loss

Raiser · 20-10-2010 5:59pm

Grumpypants wrote: »

I was confused reading the first post, after reading 3 pages im none the wiser. But i do like ice cream floats i had forgotten about them. I might have one later so its not a total loss

Its an ill wind that blows no good

Busi_Girl08 · 20-10-2010 6:05pm

I found that post offensive to razor blades.

And bathtubs.

Raiser · 22-10-2010 9:35pm

Well we met at 6.06pm and got a really competitive deal on Hungarian Salami in Lidl.

Then Gary remembered he had forgotten his Hockey Stick so we waited til his Mam dropped it over.

In Catholic Institute now doing stretching exercises ahead of stirring the Dead from the very Bowels of Hell....

And having biscuits that Garys Mam brought us down.

bazz26 · 22-10-2010 11:44pm

Sounds like even less people turned up than the annual Limerick boards meet up. :pac:

Maybe they were just frightened off by a gang of local scuts throwing eggs or couldn't find a sacrafical goat in time.