It's good to talk...... Allegedly

scientific1982

Talking about things always helps mate. If nothing else it gives you a different perspective on things. Not sure if boards is the best place for it though. Its way better to let things off your chest rather than bottling it up.

Cheap Thrills!

Naw, I think you'll find denial and abusing alcohol and drugs is a lot more fun er...effective. :cool:

Doneg Al

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

Naw, I think you'll find denial and abusing alcohol and drugs is a lot more fun er...effective. :cool:

Yes, short and long term memory loss due to substance abuse is certainly effective......

Cheap Thrills!

Doneg Al wrote: »

Yes, short and long term memory loss due to substance abuse is certainly effective......

And don't forget blackouts, hallucinations, flashbacks, whiteys, powders and pinkies. I mean with that lot you'll forget all your old problems and overwrite 'em with new ones.:D Simples!

Doc

Often a problem that you keep to yourself can seem a lot bigger in your head then it is in reality. If you have someone you trust that you can talk problems over with then often they can come up with solutions that you would not have thought of. It can give you perspective on how bad something actually is. Often just verbalizing what actual is wrong can actually help as you really have to think something trough to be able to describe a problem to someone else.

I’m a very private person too and don’t often talk to my friends about problems I have had but when I do it always helps.

Jesus Wept

It really depends on who you are talking to.
With that in mind, sometimes it is detrimental to share something with the wrong person/people.
However, if you are anon on boards, then it isn't a problem as long as you can filter out the unhelpful responses.
You could consider speaking to a professional.

But generally, when done right and for the right reasons, it is cathartic.
Your feeling are not crap.

gl.

Irish Guitarist

From what I've seen it's pointless to talk about your problems in the Personal Issues section of Boards. There's too many people there that would rather ridicule people than actually offer advice. When you're feeling crappy about something the last thing you want is some moron insulting you.

10green bottles

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

From what I've seen it's pointless to talk about your problems in the Personal Issues section of Boards. There's too many people there that would rather ridicule people than actually offer advice. When you're feeling crappy about something the last thing you want is some moron insulting you.

Some guys/girls on here are just up for cheap shots;"look at me smart mouthing this issue,i am realy the hero,2 more cans of dutch gold and i"ll have that dick and his problem outa here".

Others take a cry for help and honesty much more seriously and will try to help.

To answer your question? Yes, talking does help.Other people here have life experiences simalar to your own(whatever they may be),you may have to search to find them and im no expert on boards,but stick with it.PM me if your finding it tough and i will gladly help you out to the best of my ability.

Cianos

Doneg Al wrote: »

Does talking about stuff help?

On After Hours? Probably not...

Talking helps for a myriad of reasons.

First is the fact that you will never think of everything. Getting other peoples perspectives on things will cause you often to see a problem or issue in a light you did not before and pathways out of the mire become apparent that were not so before.

Secondly and almost as important however is that the act of talking or writing about something often forces you to serialise the issue into a readable form which forces you to see it in a different way. It is an act that straightens things out in your head.

The second of course is something you can do without the help of others, which is often why people keep diaries and the like. Simply sitting down with a pen and paper and chronicling what is going on in your head is enough to re-form it and clarify it for yourself.

Words are a powerful thing. Using them does not just shape the thoughts of others, but your own as well.

sbsquarepants

Issues, shmissues. Do as i do. Simply adopt a stance as the centre of the known universe, a god if you will, and force all others to fall into their rightfull place in orbit about you. I don't need no stinking issues:D

strife

Id be in the same boat as you man im fairly private, dont really like to talk about my "feelings" or that with people and i generally deal fine.
on the other hand though i have friends who always come to me to talk and i listen and offer council if needed,
so i suppose what i am saying is that it depends on the person try talking to someone face to face if thats not for you thats alright.
you could also listen i find sometimes listening to other people puts your own issues in prespective.

Riddle101

I find talking about stuff can be helpful, but not on the internet. You're basically talking to people you don't even know. Why you feel it's ok to keep your friends and family in the dark but want to tell thousands of strangers your personal problems is beyond me.

squeakyduck

anon is the way to go. If you read to the end of a few of those threads they usually find a bit of advice they are looking for. The sad thing is, is when they get their advice they sometimes don't follow up the thread with what happened good/bad sometimes I'm only dying to know what has happened in the situation.

00112984

Most people are shít listeners anyway and usually just pick up keywords in your conversation that they can use to turn the story around to them.

Kimono-Girl

it is good to talk about problems, but i feel if they are serious problems all the talking in the world won't help unless you are talking to the right people.

personal issue's is great for airing grievances you may be having at that time, but some issue's i've seen in there need professional help,


it's all well and good talking out your problem, but as i've learned the nastiest of problems have a habit of re-appearing in the most unlikely places and at the most unlikely times, and talking to a professional will help you by teaching you coping skills you'll need if/when that time comes, alongside letting you talk it out...

so yeah if you cannot get a girl/mother in law hates you/cannot make friends => personal issues

kfallon

I tend to just keep it to myself and try sort it. I'm a fairly private person and there's prob only 1 or 2 people I know who I would open up to. I just sit and suffer and try figure out how to turn things round.

Tbh I don't normally get stressed or have serious problems

Asphyxia

I love talking! It's nice to get stuff off your chest when you're worried or stressed about stuff. Talking to my boyfriend, best friend or sisters makes a huge difference... better to say it out than to keep it in and go mad.

Doneg Al

Cianos wrote: »

On After Hours? Probably not...

Actually to be honest, I think if AH is ideal.

At least more people have a sense of humour.

AnonoBoy

Talking about stuff?

Bah! That never works.

Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball, and release it at an appropriate time. Like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.

Snakeblood

Doneg Al wrote: »

Actually to be honest, I think if AH is ideal.

At least more people have a sense of humour.

Yeah, but you're not going to get much in the way of understanding, more a parade of people trying to be funny. And me, succeeding.

Wibbs

Yes and no. I'd talk to mates and girlfriend if I've got one at the time. It's good for that all important perspective. On the interweb? I don't think I would. Not because of any shame or any of that guff, more because too many don't actually read the problem in the first place or project all of their own guff. It can be hard to sort the wheat from the chaff(and there is wheat out there).

It used to really grind my gears when I modded PI when someone would kick off a reply with "I haven't read any of the other posts but...". I'm sorry, you bloody well should or just don't bloody well post. Is it really too much to ask? So often I was tempted to ban them on acount of their disregard for the whole vibe of the place.

9 times outa 10 they turned out to be the types to completely project their own issues on others anyway. Usually subjective self centered sorts who just couldnt be arsed. TBH when I did read that opening shot anything they followed it with was 99% of the time banal useless bollocks like "just be yourself" :rolleyes: Regularly you would also see where the OP would add some important info to their original post and because these other eejits were too lazy to bother reading, they'd miss it. Sometimes you would have a post just before the eejits explaining that the problem was solved and thanks very much. I suppose those eejits were better or at least more honest than the others who clearly didnt read a damn thing beyond the first line of an OP and then waded in two pages later completely getting the wrong end of the stick.

As far as talking to professionals goes, I'd have mixed feelings. Yes it can be very helpful to some, but I also think too often it's trotted out as an automatic response. Sometimes to a farcical degree.

Doneg Al

Wibbs wrote: »

Yes and no. I'd talk to mates and girlfriend if I've got one at the time. It's good for that all important perspective. On the interweb? I don't think I would. Not because of any shame or any of that guff, more because too many don't actually read the problem in the first place or project all of their own guff. It can be hard to sort the wheat from the chaff(and there is wheat out there).

It used to really grind my gears when I modded PI when someone would kick off a reply with "I haven't read any of the other posts but...". I'm sorry, you bloody well should or just don't bloody well post. Is it really too much to ask? So often I was tempted to ban them on acount of their disregard for the whole vibe of the place.

9 times outa 10 they turned out to be the types to completely project their own issues on others anyway. Usually subjective self centered sorts who just couldnt be arsed. TBH when I did read that opening shot anything they followed it with was 99% of the time banal useless bollocks like "just be yourself" :rolleyes: Regularly you would also see where the OP would add some important info to their original post and because these other eejits were too lazy to bother reading, they'd miss it. Sometimes you would have a post just before the eejits explaining that the problem was solved and thanks very much. I suppose those eejits were better or at least more honest than the others who clearly didnt read a damn thing beyond the first line of an OP and then waded in two pages later completely getting the wrong end of the stick.

As far as talking to professionals goes, I'd have mixed feelings. Yes it can be very helpful to some, but I also think too often it's trotted out as an automatic response. Sometimes to a farcical degree.

Its actually really interesting question though, because on the face of it the majority of people say no, its not good. But if you look at their posting history, a lot of people do actually talk about a lot of personal issues.

starbelgrade

If you're from Blackrock & have recently been made redundant, then no, probably not.

Snakeblood

Riddle101 wrote: »

I find talking about stuff can be helpful, but not on the internet. You're basically talking to people you don't even know. Why you feel it's ok to keep your friends and family in the dark but want to tell thousands of strangers your personal problems is beyond me.

It can be easier to vent and seek understanding in a vacuum where people don't know you.

Like let's say you say 'I feel depressed all the time, it all really gets to me'
And then people you know who may have a very different image of you could say 'That's rubbish, you're the happiest person I know, you can't be depressed'. Which is exactly the type of thing that can happen, and what they're effectively doing is telling you you're wrong in how you feel, which is not the way to go in treating depression.

Princess Peach

I guess it depends on the person.

I used to keep all my problems to myself and it wasn't good. Then I started counselling and that helped me to talk to friends about things. Then I started to bottle it all up again, my friends didn't really care anymore. So I joined Boards to have someone to talk to and I think it helped a lot!

In my experience boys find it a lot harder to talk about feelings and personal problems to people they know.

Doneg Al

Riddle101 wrote: »

I find talking about stuff can be helpful, but not on the internet. You're basically talking to people you don't even know. Why you feel it's ok to keep your friends and family in the dark but want to tell thousands of strangers your personal problems is beyond me.

Its not that i feel its ok to keep them in the dark. Its just the way i am. If i went to a friend or family member and said "I have a problem and i want to talk about it" They would be waiting for some prank or punchline.

Also i never said i WANTED to tell anybody on here my problems, im just asking the question. Is it a valid means of getting stuff off your chest.

stovelid

A bit of strategic sensitivity (optionally about fake issues if you wish) is handy for getting women into bed sometimes.

Procasinator

It differs from person to person. Ambiguous answer, but it's the truth.

In some cases, it might be very important for them to talk even if the person doesn't feel it is: like in cases of substance abuse, suicidal tendencies, psychosis, etc.

But for your run-of-the-mill stresses and grievances it depends on the person.

alwaysadub

I'm divided on it tbh. I'm a private enough person, and won't even tell my family about major problems happening in my life if i can help it. Most of them are clueless about the real me.
I have talked to a couple of very close friends and an ex about problems, and i think i'm just as handy keeping them in my head and trying to sort them out myself.

One good thing i have learnt though, specially if you don't wanna talk to people, is to write stuff down. Just start writing and you'll be amazed what you end up with. It helps clear the head a bit sometimes.

Chuchoter

I've always found talking on boards helpful.:)

The therapist though, although I can see a lot of benefits, she kind of destroyed a lot of the best parts of me. I'm now a lot more conformist, which means school work is easier, but I have masses of issues with myself as a person/body issues/standing up for myself that I never had before.