Surfaced feelings for a married man

LegacyUser

I know how to solve this - but I need to get it out and tell someone.

Since I was in my very early teens I was friends with this guy. I was a few years younger than him. I never fancied him. I just never looked at him in that way. He did towards me though, and in very shy and unexpecting ways, he'd try and show me. But Ill be honest and say I didnt even know what boys were back then. So, in his late teens he left. We kept in contact. We'd meet up as friends sometimes (maybe once a year). Only ever on one occasion did we share a quick snog and even at that I didnt feel anything. I thought nothing of it. He married a few years ago. And hand on my heart I was delighted for him.

Still feeling nothing for him like that, until a few days ago. He is home at the moment. We met up as we'd usually do - I certainly wasnt thinking anything - it was the usual meet up scenario.

How can I describe the next bit. I was on my own with him and he was acting all boyfriendy - taking every opportunity to touch me (never normally like this). It wasnt in a sleazy way. More tender or something.

But now the game has changed, because, in a moment, all of a sudden, I can only describe it as a light being switched on, everything changed. All these feelings I didnt know I had surfaced. They say things can change in the blink of any eye, this is beyond true.

When I realised what was happening, I kind of gave myself a fright and had to get out of there. I want to say that there is no way Id ever run off with a married man, no one ever wins, but I didnt know I had all these feelings and now I cant seem to switch them off. I havent had contact since as I dont know what to say. I feel like Ive lost a friend. I cant meet him again. Ive deleted his number. I have the urge to say something but I wont.

The knife in the back is that I think, I think he might still have feelings for me. No, sorry I am playing this down as usual, I Know there is something there. But I cant verify this. I wont do this to me, him or his wife. He leaves again in a few weeks. I need to avoid him and cut contact altogether. Im just really sad because Ill never know. Thanks for reading/listening.

magneticimpulse

Theres not much advice i can give. It seems like youve made your mind up already to avoid this man.

It seems like you want verfication from others that this was a bad incident and to tell you its wrong?

Either way, I hope you continue to be smart and have no contact with this guy. Anyone who cheats on their wife or tries to is not a worthy man...who wants that in their life...just look at Tiger Woods as an example anytime you have doubts

Good Luck

greengiant09

fair play to you!...it's nice to see a bit of decency. all i can say is i know you have 'feelings' for this guy but your feelings can be liars. don't ever trust your emotions....trust your brain. i'm sure if you look back on your life you will find plenty of times you 'felt' something was right but it turned out not to be.....stay away from, avoid him and a few months from now you will see you made the right decision and wondered what the hell you were even thinking about.

LegacyUser

I know I am doing the right thing, but it hurts like hell.

No magneticimpulse, I am not looking for you to tell me anything.

I needed to get it out. I cant talk to anyone about this.

It stings because maybe there was something there all along, which I think there was, but I never saw it. Now its like an elephant in the room with me.

I have lounged around like a love sick fool for the last 4 days and there is not one damn thing I can do about it. I guess it is just something that I have to get over in time.