sad

LegacyUser

I dont even know why im writing this here or even what advise im looking for.

I just feel so heartbroken and have no one to talk to! Im a guy in my early twenties and I had been best friends with a girl who just ended our friendship and wants "nothing to ever do with me again!"

Weve been friends for two years and used to call/text each other nearly everyday..even when she was abroad we would skype/email often. I treated her like royalty, did everything she asked, bought her surprises, paid for meals in expensive restraunts to cheer her up,constantly listened to her complaints and helped her with any issues, practically paid for her nights out with drinks, taxis etc, lending her money (which she never pays back) and i never asked for anything in return. Were both in college and she comes from a poor backround with little money (yet acts like a spoiled princess) whereas I am priviliged to come from a family that pays for everything for me that i need. Then last week we were on a night out and we fell out and she just verbally abused me in the nightclub. Then fabrication stories came out from friends saying that i was complaining that cos I do everything for her and felt underappreciated(which to be honest i do) and people said that she made me do everything for her which i never said and even though i tried to explain she would listen.

i just feel so alone and sad at the moment and I have no idea what to do. Judging from the sound of her voice on the phone she really does hate me and probably will never talk to me again.

sorry about how long this is and thanks for taking the time to read it

Kimia

Why did you treat her like a princess when she treated you like shít? She's not much of a friend if she believed random 'friends' when they lied about you. Get some self-respect and try and be equal with the next friend you make, girl or boy. It's not right being the one doing all the work in a friendship or a relationship.

LegacyUser

thanks for your reply. to be honest the reason i treated her like a princess was because i fancied her so much. I never told her how i felt but i reckon she probably knew. she is gorgeous,possibly the most beaufitul girl ive ever seen and even though i know i am a fairly good looking guy i would neever be able to score a girl like her. But she has a fiery personality (and i can see why she doesnt have too many friends) but we kinda clicked and got on very well with each other. I loved her company. whereas id be more reserved but id be more popular with people.i do have a lot of friends both guys and girls but shes the only person i ever wanted to be around

darad

OP it sounds like you spent a lot of time around her and possibly built your life/social life around her. Do you have other friends, are there other things you can do with your time, things just for you, that you enjoy? You may well make it up with this girl and things may go on the way they were but Im wondering if you have a life outside of your interractions with her, it would be healthy in my opinion to have that.

kylith

It sounds to me like she was using you and has now shown her true colours. I know it doesn't feel like it now but you really are better off without her.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, it is very sweet that you were so friendly to your friend and you wanted to cherish her because you adored her, some people just cant see whats in front of theor nose but if she cant then maybe its time to move on and give your love and energy to someone else, if you dont let go of this girl you will not make way for your new love, i once had a boyfriend who did the dirt on me and then finished with me i was devastated he was my first love i remember my cousin saying that in a few months there would be a new guy around the corner who would fall in love with me.... a while later that happend and i met my soul mate, he was a guy who lived a few houses away from me and was the coolest kid on the street i always fancied him and i was sooooo excited to get with him, its 14 years later and we are bezzy mates and still only have eyes for each other, i truly feel that this girl is not your soul mate, you could just try and let her go as painful as it it but allow the new to come to you!! Imagine what you are not allowing to come your way?? if your a good looking bloke then it is only a matter of time there could be some girl in college who thinks you are hot but you are just infatuated with a girl who doenst seem that nice tbh... anyway i wish you all the best, i really feel you will be very happy when you find your true love you strike me as if you would love to be in a relationship, let it happen!! All the best xoxo

tbh

she's acting like she hates you because she knew you fancied her, she didn't fancy you and she felt guilty for letting you pay for her, but didn't want to, or know how to, bring the situation to an end. The reason she's reacted so violently to something that wasn't such a big deal is that this is a reaction to the whole relationship, not just the incident.

There's no easy way to deal with this, it's just a matter of time before you realise that it wasn't a proper relationship in the first place. She may not have been totally honest with you, but you weren't totally honest with her either.

If it's any consolation, the fact that she reacted so badly is a sign of guilt, and the guilt is there because she does like you, but in the same way as you like her, and she feels bad about that - she obviously realises you're a good guy.

I would advise you to keep your distance from this girl for a while and let things correct themselves. I'm sorry to say, you're probably never going to be with this girl so don't waste your time trying to manoeuvre into that position. You may be friends with her, real friends, in time, if both of you want to be enough.

LegacyUser

OP it sounds like a big favour was done for you!! she sounds like a spoilt brat and only ever thinks about herself!! Ive had experience of this in the past, i know exactly how you feel. i have been that person thats been used, and i know its not a nice feeling!!

if its any consolation you probably are better of without her! It probably will hurt for a while especially as it seems you put so much effort into this friendship

LegacyUser

tough break OP, it sounds like its hit you fairly hard and you do seem like a lovely genuine bloke who cares too much for his friend

the only advice I can think of is..time is a great healer

Hope it all works out well for you OP!!