The importance of children knowing their phone number

littlebitdull

I live in Dublin, and at the top of my road is a football pitch. My road is now a busy place on a saturday with many cars speeding up and down to the pitch. I should also add its a quite isolated road, with only a handful of houses along it.

Yesterday on my way home from my daily walk, I spotted a young boy walking outside my garden. He was alone, and to be honest looked distressed. So I stopped to ask him if he was ok. And he was not.

He had been up at the football pitch, his sister was playing, and he was having fun climbing on some rocks at the side of the car park. His father had driven the children there, but when the little guy went over to go home, his Dad had taken his sister and gone on home.

Without the boy.

So the young lad had - after extensivly searching the car park - decided to try going on down the road to see if Daddy was coming up it looking for him.

Which is where I came into the story.

I brought him on up to the football - to check if Daddy was there - no luck. So I popped him in the car and we headed on to his home address. Thankfully eventually seeing Daddy coming back up the road in his car.

I handed back a still distressed child. And was thankful that all was well that ended well.

Please teach your children their home phone number - as this childs distress could have been eased so much sooner had he known it. I had my mobile on me - and was outside my house so could have used my landline - and he could have spoken to dad and not been so upset.

Also - when you go out somewhere with two kids - dont leave one behind.

Fittle

Hi littlebitdull - I was getting shivers down my spine at the start of your post, but thankfully, all ended well.

My initial reaction was what an irresponsible parent but it hasn't taken me long to think that the dad probably thought the lad had made his own way home (did they live close enough?)....I doubt very much he left him there and had forgotten he brought him. There are very few, if any, parents who would bring their kids to a match and just leave them there. There had to have been a miscommunication somewhere.

I'm now in the throes of bringing my son to and from football matches at weekends, and training during the week. As I'm the only parent involved, it's easy for me to know where he is/if I've arranged for someone else to drop/collect him. But my friend has often told her hubby to collect/drop only for the hubby to assume the wife is doing it - or a friend is doing it and for the child to be left with another parent (usually me), until we can ring the mam or dad.

I'm so glad you were there OP and if that was my son, i'd be up to your door with a very, very big thank you.

I'm not long home from my sons match this morning - it was mayhem in the general area....anyway, well done and hopefully, it was a genuine error on the dads part.

CK2010

jesus, what struck me was thank god it was someone helping him who took him into their car and not somebody else. did he get into your car easily? thats a bit worrying. (obviously not the fact that he got in your car, but if it was someone else like)

fair play to you for helping him and not leaving him hoping he'll be alright. wish there were more people like you!

littlebitdull

Fittle - if this child had to walk home from our road to his , it would have taken him an hour at the shortest.

I have walked the distance between his area and my road when my child was doing tennis in that area, and it took me an hour to get there walking , of course with the children with me walking back it was closer to an hour and a half !!

Fittle

Ok, well that's different.

If that was me, I'd have hung around to figure out exactly why the dad left him there??????

Did you just drop him off? Did anyone try to explain to you whey he was left there?

Deliverance

Good post OP. My daughter has started 'Tae kwo do', she is only 5yrs old. One of the things that they are teaching her is to memorise her home phone number.

I think that it is a good idea for any child to have this number memorised. Thanks for putting that up.

I guess the only other option would be to have them wear 'dog tags' with phone number and name?

metrovelvet

Deliverance wrote: »

Good post OP. My daughter has started 'Tae kwo do', she is only 5yrs old. One of the things that they are teaching her is to memorise her home phone number.

I think that it is a good idea for any child to have this number memorised. Thanks for putting that up.

I guess the only other option would be to have them wear 'dog tags' with phone number and name?

My three year old has his address memorised. Well, mostly. And I often have his name and my phone number written into his coats and jackets.

I am working on [very carefully] the concept of the emergency phone number and what is an emergency.

My neighbor's three year old locked her in the bathroom by accident! And she had a chain on the inside of the frontdoor to stop him from running out onto the estate. So had a neighbor not heard her screaming for help, who knows how long she would have been in there and the three year old not having a clue!

sunshineoh9

all i can say is thank God that the little boy ended up in your yard! i would be so afraid to leave a child unattended in a public place like that out of fear for abduction... and the majority of people wouldn't put a strange child in their car out of fear that they would appear to be abducting the child. so i commend you for your act of heroism (and in the young boy's eyes you probably are a hero)

Big Bag of Chips

Well done OP, glad the little lad was ok in the end.

And I know many posters are saying, "thank God it was you who came along and not... " etc

But I think had that little lad had to walk further to try make his way home, he would have met many many more, good samaratians and very few, if any abductors!

I know it's always wise to be safe and teach children the dangers to watch out for, but we have to trust that most people in the world are good and honest people. And rather than a child being lucky to come across someone like that, in my opinion, they'd have to be very unlucky to come across someone who had ill intentions.

sunshineoh9

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Well done OP, glad the little lad was ok in the end.

And I know many posters are saying, "thank God it was you who came along and not... " etc

But I think had that little lad had to walk further to try make his way home, he would have met many many more, good samaratians and very few, if any abductors!

I know it's always wise to be safe and teach children the dangers to watch out for, but we have to trust that most people in the world are good and honest people. And rather than a child being lucky to come across someone like that, in my opinion, they'd have to be very unlucky to come across someone who had ill intentions.

don't know about where you live but here good samaritans are surely a minority. as a child i had between 5-10 people try to abduct me and each of those times i was able to get out of the situation by what my parents had branded into my head about what to do about strangers.
yes, there are good people in this world but the way i see it is...
out of every 10 people their is 1 that will help, 1 that will harm, and 8 that will do nothing at all.
so no, i wouldn't trust a 50% chance that my child will fall into good arms

LordSutch

No need to know Mummy & Daddy's phone numbers if they have one of these!
They just click on the Mummy or Daddy icon and they are in touch, simples

Big Bag of Chips

Well I don't know where YOU live but surely 5 -10 attempted abductions in the course of your childhood isn't the average? (and there's a big difference between 5 attempted abductions and 10 attempted abductions..)

Were they attempted abductions or had your parents "branded" so much into your head, that you saw everyone as a potential abductor?

All I'm saying is there's not as many bad people out there as people tend to believe.. it's just we only hear about the bad ones.

Fittle

Firstly, having 5 - 10 people try to abduct you as a child, sounds slightly exaggerated to me.

Like was it 5?
Or was it 10?

Anyway, that isn't the 'average' by any stretch of the imagination and I have to agree with Big Bag here - thankfully, there are many people who would have come to that childs rescue, were it not for the OP. But still, glad the OP was there in the first instance.

As an aside, when myself and my son are going to a crowded place (town or the zoo for example), I always write my mobile number on his arm (under his sleeve). He knows if he gets lost, he should go to a woman (preferably who has children with her) or a garda and ask them to ring me....so far (thankfully) he hasn't had to do it, but it's a safety mechanism and he himself feels safer when I do it. As an 8yr old, he's a bit young for a mobile phone but I can't wait for the day when he has one and can use it properly, to ring me should he ever be in difficulty and out of my sight.

And please don't jump down my neck because I've asked him not to go to a man....the first time we tried this out, we practised it in the zoo. My lad picked a 19yr old fella and said 'Excuse me, I'm lost, could you ring my mam please....' (I was in earshot). The 19yr old turned to his mates and started laughing and told him to P@ss off and ask someone else, coz he'd no credit......:mad:

So Plan B is that he finds a woman or a garda....:D

sunshineoh9

well i blocked a few out but i clumped in all things related to abduction

removed for privacy

because i don't really want my business all over the place....

as for thinking all people are bad... when a guy asks a 6 year old he doesn't know to get in his car to help him find a puppy i'm pretty sure that is a bad guy....

i'm pretty sure when someone restrains an 8 year old on their lap and forces the child to french kiss them, he is a bad guy...

hopefully you get the point, i'd rather not get into more detail....

barbiegirl

You had a bad childhood, but I do think it was either the area you lived in or very bad luck.
I agree that most people are good and others would have helped. I have to say I'm slow and very careful approaching a child who needs help but I do approach and I do try. It's what most people will do.

Big Bag of Chips

sunshineoh9, I really do think YOU had a bad childhood, and obviously, and understandably it has influenced your perception now. But your childhood is not the norm.

And thankfully is nowhere near the norm for most children in Ireland today. There are many many more good people in the world than there are bad. And there are many many people, mainly women, (as I find men (ie my husband!) wary of approaching children even if they do appear to be in distress) who would come to the aid of an obviously lost child.

sunshineoh9

well perhaps that is just it... just a difference in culture maybe, idk i've never spent more than a week at a time in ireland and by that time i was pretty much an adult.

maybe its just large cities in america that are this way...

i don't know much about irish culture since i haven't spent enough time there but i have spent plenty of time in miami and can assure you very few people would help (in fact just a few months ago people were warned not to stop if they see a baby on the side of the road... gangs were placing them there in order to lure women out of their cars and drag them into the woods)

i'm not saying everyone is bad, there are surely good people in this world... i'm just not as quick to trust someone with a child i care for

bigneacy

littlebitdull wrote: »

Also - when you go out somewhere with two kids - dont leave one behind.

Sound advice there... :pac:

Seriously... this man fecked off, one kid short?! :eek:

Fittle

Seriously, I'd love to find out what happened in this situation.

There MUST have been a miscommunication somewhere. The dad MUST have thought another parent had brought him home. The dad couldn't have been drinking because the OP mentioned that he was driving....as I had thought maybe he had a few pints (not that that's an excuse).

Love to find out how it happened.

littlebitdull

Well the guy told me ' I thought he was in the car'.

And when I was chatting to the child I did ask him if Dad was collecting a lot of children from the football, as I figured he had miscounted or one of the other kids thought it would be funny to say they were all 'aboard'..... but the boy told me it was just him and his sister.

This lad is 10 - so old enough to learn his home phone number.

And I would have to 100% agree that if it had not been me who helped him out he would have met others who would have done the same.

My road leads onto a busy main road, and to be honest I would have been more worried about him crossing that safely, or getting lost on the long walk home than being abducted.

Nevyn

I have had several text alerts from both my kids schools from the start of term about pupils being approached by people they didn't know asking them to get into thier car.
So it is certianly a concern, in the area. That family is just lucky you were there littlebitdull.

cynder

bigneacy wrote: »

Sound advice there... :pac:

Seriously... this man fecked off, one kid short?! :eek:

When i worked in Dunne's stores 13 years ago a family of 6 left their 6th child behind, forgot about her, drove home unpacked shopping. we had her for around 30 - 45mins and guards were called and took her to the station, parents picked her up there an hour later.

It happens, ive never done it, but i think people are so busy that something slips their mind, sometimes its a bill or an appointment and sometimes its a child:eek:.

mikemac

Well done OP
You took control and sorted the situation

Though as a man I'd be very slow to put that child in my car and drive him home.
One comment or accusation and I'd be ruined :eek:

sunshineoh9 wrote: »

.
i don't know much about irish culture since i haven't spent enough time there but i have spent plenty of time in miami and can assure you very few people would help (in fact just a few months ago people were warned not to stop if they see a baby on the side of the road... gangs were placing them there in order to lure women out of their cars and drag them into the woods)

That story have rounded the globe several times by now, ignore it for what it is.
An viral email campaign

sunshineoh9

feelingstressed wrote: »

That story have rounded the globe several times by now, ignore it for what it is.
An viral email campaign

still doesn't mean miami is safe... in fact, last night i was being followed around a 24 hour store, when i left he followed me into the parking lot and asked me for my number, i told him i was taken and he continued by asking me for a date, i rejected him again and got into my car. he tried to follow me home! i made a zillion wrong turns until i was sure i lost him.

sure, he could have been a nice guy that doesn't know how to talk to girls and happened to be going in the same direction as me...

but am i willing to risk it? no sir...

CK2010

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Well done OP, glad the little lad was ok in the end.

And I know many posters are saying, "thank God it was you who came along and not... " etc

But I think had that little lad had to walk further to try make his way home, he would have met many many more, good samaratians and very few, if any abductors!

I know it's always wise to be safe and teach children the dangers to watch out for, but we have to trust that most people in the world are good and honest people. And rather than a child being lucky to come across someone like that, in my opinion, they'd have to be very unlucky to come across someone who had ill intentions.

i dont think anybody was implying that society is filled with bad men driving around looking for kids or anything of the sort.

what i meant by my post saying 'thank god...' was that im sure that alot of people who commit crimes of that sort would be opportunistic, in that they may not start their day thinking they're going to look for a child to abduct but if they saw a child wandering around alone...

im not stupid enough to believe that every time a child walks alone they will be approached by a bad man but im also not naiive enough to believe that just because something rarely happens it doesnt mean someone wont take advantage of a situation should it arise.

as someone who works in a shop ive seen it many a time- a child loses their mam and wanders around the shop obviously lost, not one customer would stop and ask the child if they need help- its always left to the staff (which il admit is in a way our responsibility) but its the exact mentality i was talking about.."ah sure someone else will mind him ... im sure hes alright and sure someone else will help if hes not". many people wouldnt step in. not because they're bad people but they just assume it'll be ok.

so im not sure we can trust that there'll be more 'good samaritans' than bad guys.

there is also the fear, as mentioned by one poster, particularly in the case of men, that your good deed will be mistaken for something more sinister especially with so many stories we hear.

i still think its worrying that the little boy got into the car so easily. regardless of the situation. i was always told not to get into a car even if they say they know your mam or if they say they'll bring you home.. i think that lesson would be just as important as teaching them their address. i know that in this case he was lost and so it was an exception but it still worries me.

twinQuins

CK2010 wrote: »

as someone who works in a shop ive seen it many a time- a child loses their mam and wanders around the shop obviously lost, not one customer would stop and ask the child if they need help- its always left to the staff (which il admit is in a way our responsibility) but its the exact mentality i was talking about.."ah sure someone else will mind him ... im sure hes alright and sure someone else will help if hes not". many people wouldnt step in. not because they're bad people but they just assume it'll be ok.

I would counter that by saying most people (especially men) would be afraid of approaching a strange child, for fear of what others may think.

CK2010

Morkarleth wrote: »

I would counter that by saying most people (especially men) would be afraid of approaching a strange child, for fear of what others may think.

no need, i mentioned that in my second last paragraph. but tbh theres nothing to counter really, its just a fact of life that happens.

edit: sorry, that sounded very defensive! i just meant that im not giving out about it happening per se, just explaining a point made about good samaritans. and explaining why i dont think a child in that situation may not have been helped had it not been for op

Big Bag of Chips

Well I would ALWAYS approach a lost or upset child.. ALWAYS, and I will take their lead as to whether to hold their hand, walks beside them or even just hang around keeping an eye on them while looking for someone who seems like they have lost a child!

I would be conscious of further upsetting the child by being a stranger that they don't know, but it would never cross my mind to NOT help the child for fear of being accused of trying to harm them!!

Isn't it sad that the world has gotten to cynical! (And that's a general statement by the way, not a direct comment at any poster!)