Self-righteous religious people & parenting

pollypocket10

Ok so I know this isn't a specific ladies topic but I would be interested in the view of the tll posters especially as some of the discussions at the moment are quite topical.

Why can't people respect others beliefs? ( I know most or at least lots do) A discussion in another forum about God Parents has really gotten under my skin.

I respect that some people are religious and some are not. Some people are somewhere in between and aren't certain and others believe parts of a religion but not all.

I just hate that people think it's ok to say that you aren't as good as them or don't deserve a spot in heaven or whatever because you don't believe in going to mass or worshipping or whatever.

I'm currently expecting and have gotten a bit of flak because I won't be christening my baby, not too much mind. It really annoys me that people can't respect my beliefs.

Would be interested to hear others views on this?

Nevyn

There has been a lot of discussion on this topic in the parentng forum.

I do think parenting brings out the worst in people ( and the best as well )...its just one of those thing in life in which people think they can comment and judge people ....

metrovelvet

I found the opposite. I see a lot of posts from secularists calling parents who teach religion child abusers.

krudler

Fair play to the OP for not christening their kid and sticking by their guns, far, far too many people who dont believe in the ritual christen their kids, just to keep the relatives happy. ideally if I ever have kids I dont want them christened either.

skywards

pollypocket10 wrote: »

I just hate that people think it's ok to say that you aren't as good as them or don't deserve a spot in heaven or whatever because you don't believe in going to mass or worshipping or whatever.

My entire family is like that. The way I see it, people will complain no matter what ya do .

Ickle Magoo

metrovelvet wrote: »

I found the opposite. I see a lot of posts from secularists calling parents who teach religion child abusers.

That's neither fair nor true...

Truley

Meh you'll get flak from both sides of the fence. Just stick to your beliefs and don't give in to the pressure. A large part of being in a religion means other people need to be 'in on it' to validate and give weight to your own beliefs. Alot of people may feel that by not baptising you're somehow making a statement against the 'club' if you will.

Then if you do decide to baptise people will say you're brainwashing your child, or winge about buying a present, the cost of attending etc Such is life. Just try to ignore or avoid narrow minded people.

Oh and congratulations on the baby

5live

Each to their own. I have 4 kids and we christened them all. Now i am having a crisis of conscience as the oldest is having first communion this year and the teacher is i bit of a christian fundamentalist IMO. But in an area with one prominent religion it must be difficult to stand firm to your beliefs. They are your children and your responsibility and you will take the hit if things go wrong and they will take the credit if things go right. Best of luck and congrats on the new addition

Nevyn

I don't think it's hard to make that stand, you just have to be prepared to answer people's questions or to tell them it's none of thier concern and to be able to support and answer any questions your child has.

ricman

if you are in a small town you,ll probably have to send your kids to a catholic school ,most people have no choice and they want to send their kids to the best school or one thats nearby.

Posy

Since I was about 13 I've always said "when I have kids I'm NOT getting them christened, nyah nyah!" to my mother. She has always accepted that and I still stand by the fact that if/when I have children they won't be christened. I believe in letting them decide their own religious beliefs/lack thereof when they are older. I would just feel terrible shoving a religion on them that I think is as outdated and patriarchal as I believe Catholicism to be.
However, many of my friends say they would definitely get their kids christened into the Catholic church, and although most of them say they'd do it just to appease their parents, I would never try to talk them out of it or disrespect their decision. Each to their own, I say.

pollypocket10

Thank you for all the replies.

I started this thread when I was a bit worked up and I've been avoiding it since as the subject always gets under my skin.

Being Honest I don't worry too much about what most people think of me but I don want my family to accept my decision. My mother is particularly religious, and we've hard arguments about religious subjects in the past that we just can't agree on.

I too would hate to think that someone might say something hurtful to my children because they are not christened. The whole burning in hell thing is going to be hard for a child to understand. :rolleyes: I guess I will just have to do my best to educate them and they can make their own decisions when they are old enough.

barleybooley

My bf and I have spoken about baptising our kids when the time comes. He's an atheist, his parents are atheists and he has absolutely no beliefs but was baptised himself. I was baptised, my parents are practising Catholics and I have a certain belief myself. I told him it wouldn't be fair to baptise them and he actually disagreed and said that he would get them baptised and let them do their communion and confirmation because to him it would be a rite of passage very strange.

I think nowadays nobody really minds how you bring up your kids as long as they're happy and healthy and are made to feel loved and supported.