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Lost my nan in 2009 and haven't cried yet!

  • 29-09-2010 10:11pm
    #1
    cooltown
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 288 ✭✭


    I am a 18 year old male.Well basically in May 2009 my nan was nearly 90. We had planned a big party for her because her birthday was in june. We basically one night in May she had heart failure and it came to us a bit of a shock she was living at home with us at the time.(ALWAYS HAD). We basicaly since that day until te day she died in July I went to visit her in hospital every day for hours. It was an an hours and a half drive to the hospital and I went ever day with my mam. I was there for her the most out of me, my brother and sister. Who were basically to lazy to go and see her. So for the month of may we went to see her and then into june and we celebrated her 90th birthday in hospital. We got her her favorite cake and all and she couldn't even vlow out the candles. Loads of her friends and us gathered around that day and she didn't wake up because she was tp week. I remember that evening when I sitting beside her by nyself she woke up for about 5 minutes and I gave ger a little piece of cake and as I held her hand and I was so sad but I tried to prtend evrything was ok. The next day she was in great form and was chatty and everything. This was so my nan. She uset always do things like that. Then every day from then on she got weaker and weaker. We got a phine call from the hopital in about the last week of june to say that they tought she was bery week. She puled through this and the next day the hospital left her fall out of the bed and badly bruse her ancle. I was so angry ith the hosiptal that day. That night she was weak in bed and I was sitting holding her hand and she told me she loved me. I still remember that.:) In early july we got another phone call to say she passed away.
    hen this happened I was mainly there for my mother. My father,brother 28 and sister 27. didn't really care. helped my mther chose the coffin and what my nan was going to wear and helped her to pick the flowers.
    At the funeral my mam was really upset and I just acted strong for her and didn't cry.
    I am at a pomt now tough that I want to cry about my nan but I have no one to turn tp!
    Any advice?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Just let the tears come when you feel them-sometimes you can be so busy being strong for everyone else that you forget to let yourself deal with it. Sometimes if I feel like I need to cry, but there's no-one there, I just put on some really sad music, lock myself in my room, and just let go. There's no right or wrong way to grieve, and if you feel like you want to cry now, then do-I've found as the years pass, it's the little things that make me cry far more than any anniversary/birthday.

    I'm sorry to hear about the fall-unfortunately sometimes bad things happen in places where the people you love should be safe-my Gran's condition was made a hell of a lot worse before she died because the f**kers in the hospital had her chart locked away in one part of the building, and no-one who was there when the ambulance brought her in had access to it.

    Hold onto the memories, the fact that she was able to tell you she loved you must something to treasure. If your siblings/Dad missed out on that kind of a moment with her, then that's their tough luck. It's great that she was capable of having that kind of a conversation with you, and you with her. It's also great that you were there for your Mum-I'm assuming it was her Mum who passed away? Maybe, if it's not too tough, you could try and talk about it with her-I'm sure she misses her too, and it might nice for the two of ye to be able to remember her together.

    I know it's tough when you're a teenager, and a lot of your friends mightn't have lost someone they love so deeply, but is there any of them you could talk to? I'm not saying that friends of yours who haven't lost someone won't understand, but sometimes it's easier to relate with people who have gone through what you're going through.

    Either way, you're never really alone-cheesy and all as that sounds, I firmly believe my Gran is looking out for me each and every day, as I'm sure yours is too.Don't believe that crap that real men don't cry-real men do cry, and they shouldn't ever be ashamed to admit their love for someone, especially when it's someone as special as your Nan. Look after yourself young sir, big love and big hugs to you,xx


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