Asking Out By Text

LegacyUser

Hey,

Quick question. Is it would be okay to ask a girl out by text? Won't prob see her in person again for a while and wanna just bite the bullet!!

astra2000

I think it would be better to give her a call that way you get your answer straight away no hanging on waiting and wondering best of luck!

dudara

Trust me, she'll think much more of you if you call her and ask.

neveah

A guy texted me and asked me out before and it didn't bother me in the slightest that he texted me instead of calling. We had a bit of a text conversation going before he ended up asking me on a date but no I must say I wasn't bothered that he texted instead of calling, we still went on the date .
If you call her you'll put her on the spot, then she may be more likely to say yes to the date because she won't have too much time to think about it, you'll also be able to make all the arrangements about where to meet etc while you are on the phone, on the other hand if she says no you may feel a bit awkward.... I don't know really, it's up to you, just do whatever feels more comfortable for you. Everyone texts these days so I don't think there is anything wrong with it really but that's just me.

IrishEyes19

neveah wrote: »

A guy texted me and asked me out before and it didn't bother me in the slightest that he texted me instead of calling. We had a bit of a text conversation going before he ended up asking me on a date but no I must say I wasn't bothered that he texted instead of calling, we still went on the date .
If you call her you'll put her on the spot, then she may be more likely to say yes to the date because she won't have too much time to think about it, you'll also be able to make all the arrangements about where to meet etc while you are on the phone, on the other hand if she says no you may feel a bit awkward.... I don't know really, it's up to you, just do whatever feels more comfortable for you. Everyone texts these days so I don't think there is anything wrong with it really but that's just me.

Same as, I'd feel very awkward on the phone if I didn't know the person as well. Different story of course if you knew them for a while

unclecessna

It's makes a better impression to call trust me, everyone knows it can be daunting to ask someone you really like out so by calling instead of texting it shows that you have back-bone and a strong personality which is always a plus.

Delicate_Dlite

Go for it, as for calling versus texting. I did a quick poll of my female friends. (early 20's-30's).

Most agreed that calling could come across as a little pushy, as you're forced to answer on the spot.

Improbable

Delicate_Dlite wrote: »

Go for it, as for calling versus texting. I did a quick poll of my female friends. (early 20's-30's).

Most agreed that calling could come across as a little pushy, as you're forced to answer on the spot.

Do you mean texting versus calling or did I miss something?

HavingCrack

What do you mean by "asking out" exactly OP??

To go on a date for the 1st time ??

If that s the case and you'd prefer to text start off the texting with a hi, how are you and within two texts ask her is she free for a date whenever I suppose ?

Calling does show more backbone but it does put the girl on the spot a bit as well.

Princess Peach

Go for the text! Cause then if you have to ask questions, like times and locations, she'll have time to answer, could be awkward in a call and def dont wait till you see her!

Plus then you can get into one of those long text chats maybe, to break the ice. I love those!

Fittle

Go for the text OP.

I disagree that she'll think you have more of a backbone if you ring her. Everyone texts these days - in fact, I've had some of my more serious conversations via texts lately!

If you ring, you put her on the spot and she may say yes, so as not to appear rude - however, she might not actually want to say yes (although I'm sure that's not the case OP:D)

Send a text - you've nothing to lose - best of luck and let us know how you get on:)

Delicate_Dlite

Improbable wrote: »

Do you mean texting versus calling or did I miss something?

Yes, if you call, and ask out they've to answer right there and then on the spot. With a text, they've a few mins to decide.

Distorted

I've been successfully asked out the last two times by text and by email. However the last time I was asked out in person, I paniced and said I was busy (even though later I wished I'd said yes). Admittedly not everyone is as silly as me. If you are worried about the anonymity of texting, why not arrange to phone in person later with the details if she says yes?

Ave Sodalis

From a female perspective, text I would say, because as said above, it won't put her on the spot. However beforehand, make sure you have a bit of a conversation going. I know that my friends would be more than happy to ask a guy out for me via text as a joke that I never wanted to go out with in the first place. Also know a few guys who would do the same to their friends. Not sure of your situation but if I got a random text or just one or two messages before, I would suspect it was someone else :P

But yeah, text her if you ain't gonna ask face to face.

dellas1979

Go for it!
Fair play to ya.

Beruthiel

TWOBEERNOTTWOBE wrote: »

Hey,

Quick question. Is it would be okay to ask a girl out by text?

No. Absolutely not.
Dial her number and speak to her.
It shows you at least have some backbone.

sickofwaiting

Last 2 decent length relationships Ive had were started by me asking them out via text. First one lasted 2.5 years, second one almost 4 years. Just last night I asked another girl out by text and we're gonna meet up in a month when I visit her. Didn't have to bother with the awkward phone conversation with people I dont even know. This is the sms/facebook era, no-one gives a crap if you text instead of call...a girl is either interested or not, if she is she'll say yes whether it's call or text, if she's not she'll no. Text is just handier and less awkward all round.

jimmycrackcorm

Send a text suggesting you give her a call to ask her out. Best of both and gives her an easy way to refuse while still keeping the personal touch of asking directly.

ShiresV2

Beruthiel wrote: »

No. Absolutely not.
Dial her number and speak to her.
It shows you at least have some backbone.

Well, everybody is different.

I don't think it's relevant that I'm a man in this case.

But I'd much rather be asked out by a real person.

Being asked out by text or e-mail or whatever indicates that you're not sure of what you want that, and that you're running away from the consequences of what you're doing even before you start. That's boring, snooze inducing.

If being asked out to your face or on the blower is a huge drama for the recipient, can you imagine what kind of drama ... zzzz sorry, I'm falling asleep here.

Obviously you need a bit of tact and if it backfires, act like nothing bad has happened and leave the offer open, like "well if you have a change of heart" etc.

Gregor Samsa

I asked a girl out by text 9 years ago. She's now my wife

So, yeah, it can work.

Princess Peach

I'm dying to know if he asked her out!

My love life is such that I live through others'

pinkpigs

Suppose if you are 12 then texting should be fine! Pick up the phone and call her.. firstly she'll be impressed that you had the guts to call her and secondly you'll put her on the spot and more than likely she'll say yes.. Bingo!!:D

zxcvbnm1

I have to say, I don't know how this debate still lives.

For me texting is the only way. By ringing someone up asking out on a date - assuming you don't know them that well - is seriously and unnecessarily putting someone in an awkward position - even if they are interested !

Put it this way op - if she is interested, is she suddenly going to be completely turned off by a text to the point of actually turning down a date because you texted instead of rang ?
Highly highly unlikely.

If she is interested and you ask her out - even through smoke signals - then she will accept the date.
And if she refuses the date then it certainly won't be because of the means of communication.

And it's easiest for ALL parties involved. I actually think it's quite inappropriate And unfair to put someone on the spot like that.

Quick survey - ladies, if you liked a guy and he asked you out via text instead of ringing, how many of you would turn him down soley due to the means of communication used?

Text her - if she is on for it she will accept. Simple as.

Yumee

Depends on how well you know the girl. If you don't know her that well go for the text. It's more usual and Id prefer it TBH. If you get the first date, call her for the second;)

MissMiami

I would say if you're in your teens or twenties and don't know the person very well, text her. When I was single and if someone asked me out in a situation where it wouldn't be expected, I would feel awkward and blurt out "No" straight away just because I was caught off guard. I wouldn't intend to be rude but it may have come across that way because I have low self esteem. Definitely give her a text and work your way up to asking her out!

If you're a bit older, ringing her might be more appropriate and she will respect you for doing so.

Good luck!

entropi

The key issue here OP is that you contact her, dont hesitate and dont worry about whether it's a call or text, once you do it

mikemac

I remember a time before mobiles and you'd ask a girl out on the house phone and trying to pick a time so your parents or brothers and sisters weren't around to listen in :eek:

Thank god for mobile phones
OP, I'd say call her, not text

LegacyUser

Princess Peach wrote: »

I'm dying to know if he asked her out!

My love life is such that I live through others'

Hi OP here,

Thanks for all the advice, I really appreciate it. Anyhow I did go ahead and text. She took an age to reply and unfortunately the result wasnt great I said we should go for a drink/food someday and that it would be my shout. She said she was busy for the next while but would shout me coffee someday. Think it was a gentle let down but hey!! Glad I did it by text now.

LegacyUser

Princess Peach wrote: »

I'm dying to know if he asked her out!

My love life is such that I live through others'

Hi. OP here,

Thanks for all the replies, its much appreciated. Anyhow, I went ahead and sent the text. Said we should go for drinks or food sometime, on me. She took ages to reply and unfortunately it wasn't a yes. She said she was avoiding going out for a while but would shout me a coffee some day. A gentle let down I guess!! Glad I asked by text now.