P0rn Off

LegacyUser

I've been dating my boyfriend for about a month, we're both really happy and excited about the relationship and we've been pretty intimate, sleeping together and doing all but having sex, we both (actually more him than me) want to wait until we're really sure it's something thats deeper than just physical or infatuation.

So we've been pretty open about what we like and don't like -- we've explored a little bit of kink and it's great... we've even watched a porno that he liked together and it was fun to do that.

The problem happened this morning, I stayed over and usually we'd both 'get off' when we're together, but last night we fell asleep and this morning we just got a bit worked up before I had to leave for a meeting -- and I jokingly commented that he'd need to sort himself out before he could leave the house... and he agreed and then said "oh crap, you have all my porn" (he'd left the hard drive with the porno we watched at my place)...

I don't know why but it really upset me that he 'needed' the p0rn to get off, especially since he was already worked up and it was the first thing that crossed his mind -- I mean I just wonder why I wasn't enough to be in his head.

He knows I'm upset about this, and he appologised but said he needed it to get off 'fast' but if it really upset me then he'd try to keep away from porn in future and that I could delete it all off his harddrive -- I'm not against the idea of porn, but I think it upset me that I turned him on, but that he immediately thought about the porn for getting off to

Am I being completely irrational?

La frog fairy

I wouldnt worry at all, relax, its just that... men are visual creature!!!

He said it just like it is to you, porn, for most guys, its the quickest way to do it by themself, again i said most guys im sure for others it doesnt work.
He clearly was open about it with you and even apologies about this,
So in short no stress, looks like you were hes motivation clearly but he needd to do it fast and the thought about you would of maybe take too long as he would want to enjoy it longer...flattering if you really think about it;):p

Woman get turned on by what they hear, men get turned on by what they see...again, its a general comment.;)


My suggestion, take some sexy picture of yourself or a little clip and send it to him....then he will have his own motivation with you on it!

I speak by experience, my ex boyfriend still uses the ones i left him:D

So relax and enjoy your what seems to be a blooming relationship.:P

Zen65

La frog fairy wrote: »

My suggestion, take some sexy picture of yourself or a little clip and send it to him....then he will have his own motivation with you on it!

I speak by experience, my ex boyfriend still uses the ones i left him:D

I suspect not everyone would be happy to have their ex possess a "sexy video" of themselves, so I would not advocate giving the bf a copy of such a video. If the relationship ends badly then you may find this video on YouTube!!

OP, I think many men use pornographic images & video to allow themselves to reach a climax without too much mental effort on their part. Imagining a sex scene with somebody you know is not as easy as you might think.... there is a competition between the brain and the genitals for the much-needed blood supply!!

Be at peace,

Z

La frog fairy

haha it was a suggestions and in my case it was pics and you cant see my face..only he knows its me.

Good replacement if you both already watching porn before having sex:rolleyes:

my little opinion, each to their own;)

Wompa1

La frog fairy wrote: »

haha it was a suggestions and in my case it was pics and you cant see my face..only he knows its me.

Good replacement if you both already watching porn before having sex:rolleyes:

my little opinion, each to their own;)

The internet has polluted our minds. It's difficult to get off to the same porn each time. So if a girlfriend gives you pictures or whatever theres only so often it really works...like a laptop battery it withers away! :P

Miss Fluff

You're not being very reasonable OP.

He told you the truth, he needed to get off quickly before work and watching a porno (usually people have a few trusty favourites that will get them off that bit quicker) that he could bash one out to before starting work is reasonable enough. It has nothing to do with you/how attractive you are/how much he fancies you. It's just one of those things. And he has been open with you.

You could end up falling in love/getting married/having babies with this guy and he will probably still want to do this, it's just a habit/tool to aid masturbation.

It's a bit dramatic in all fairness for him to try and forego all porn to prove he fancies you Then it just becomes illicit and secretive tbh

finbarrk

He probably said that as a sort of a joke anyway. I don't think you should make an issue of it at this stage.

fungun

crikey, what did people do before porn? just use your imagination, find it amazing he *needed* porn to get off tbh.
I mean Im all for a bit of porn as part of a healthy reln but if he cant relieve himself without it, then id be a little bit worried about how he sees sex...whether he only sees it in a porn way if you know what i mean.

shellyboo

Yeah, you're being a tiny bit irrational, OP. In his head, masturbation and porn go together - when you suggested he masturbate, he thought about how he usually masturbates. With porn. And you have all the porn.

You're taking it personally for no reason. Porn's just a tool, like vibrators for a woman. No harm in it - and his reaction tells you that he knows where he priorities lie. Don't make him delete his porn, he's clearly got his head screwed on!

kjl

You can also tell him that he doesn't need to carry around a hard disk with porn on it, there are plenty of websites such as <SNIP> that cater to the modern masturbater on the move.