Coming back to where you were

chebe

I was searching back through all the old, old posts, and realised that I'm yearning for spiritual and pagan discussions. But it isn't just the kind of idle thought that hits you after midnight. It's part of my need to come back to this part of my life. Recently, for some time, I have been focused on much more material things, as I thought, out of necessity. Just the ebb and flow of life I guess.

But my question, I do have one, several actually. How do you integrate / balance your spiritual side with the rest of your life with its daily demands? Is it hard for you to etch out that time? Do you find yourself waxing and waning as well? Do you beat yourself up about it, or accept it as it happens? How do you come back to it, a small daily meditation, and work from there, or more a large and definite rededication as it were? Or are things generally taken out of your hands, finding yourself smack bang in the middle?

Nevyn

I think it comes and goes in cycles, some times life is too busy or we have things which need out time and attension more and then things quiet and we come around again and find we are missing things. Like good discussions and good company or even ligthing a candle at the full moon.

I remember when An Fainne was a gather of around 40 when I first started going 12 years ago. I am not sure if the number of email lists or facebook or that there are too many sites which one can go read but never get into a good discussion on have diluted things.

As for your question, I wax and wane, depends on time and what is going on around me in my life and where I am spiritually on my own path.

But spiritual paths are never straigth forward they have ups and down, bends and twists and turns, some times it's all we can do to keep looking at our own feet and putting one before the other and try not to trip over them and then there are times we can look up and out and enguage with others.

I don't beat myself up over it, I find it pointless guilt, I will do what I can when I can and sometimes that is very little and other times it is a vast ammount in comparison but
the intent and the effort is the same.

Agent J

chebe wrote: »

How do you integrate / balance your spiritual side with the rest of your life with its daily demands?

Err. If I ever figure that out.. ill let you know. However i have found having a 9-5 can be very helpful. It gives you a different world which helps to deal with other worldy matters. It gives a sense of perpective to me.

chebe wrote: »

Is it hard for you to etch out that time? Do you find yourself waxing and waning as well? Do you beat yourself up about it, or accept it as it happens? How do you come back to it, a small daily meditation, and work from there, or more a large and definite rededication as it were? Or are things generally taken out of your hands, finding yourself smack bang in the middle?

I have found personally that the wane is due to stuff happening. Once it clears up i find myself drifting back. Life does get in the way and while paganism etc can help with ones outlook on life. Sometimes it needs to get put on the backburner while more important matters get dealt with.

I find myself when things are on the wax again. My reading material tends to be more esoteric. I am more active in seeking conversations with people in real life and tend to just be more aware of my surroundings.

I used to beat myself up about the fact that i wasnt more into things then i should be. However i had to be fair with myself and realise that everyone has the right to step back. A path is for an indiviudal to explore but must also be at their own pace. "Insert cliche reference to it being the journey mattering more then destination"

A belief in reincarnation helps here too. If i dont get stuff done this life time.. i can always catch it next time

Abhainn-Rivers

chebe wrote: »

But my question, I do have one, several actually. How do you integrate / balance your spiritual side with the rest of your life with its daily demands? Is it hard for you to etch out that time? Do you find yourself waxing and waning as well? Do you beat yourself up about it, or accept it as it happens? How do you come back to it, a small daily meditation, and work from there, or more a large and definite rededication as it were? Or are things generally taken out of your hands, finding yourself smack bang in the middle?

Erm much like Agent J if I ever manage to balance it perfectly I will let you know. To be honest I'm not sure there is one specific balance for any of us. I think balance can be quite subjective to the moment we all face.

I've found that when I'm at college and have a schedule to work to the rest falls into place nicely but its when I have complete freedom to focus exclusively on spiritual practices that it all goes to pot. I have a theory that this is because spiritual practices for many neopagans means initializing Life itself. Honestly even with time off from college now I find that when I'm very good at observing practices it is when Life is active with other things too.

Conversely, if after a lull period of working daily I start back and its not a struggle I usually can attribute that to me not flexing my muscles properly and maybe just going through the motions out of a sense of guilt. I'm no longer Catholic so I refuse to let guilt get me down and decide to channel this sense by using it to complete the task and work towards making the rituals more vibrant and meaningful.

With my ceremonial practices its more like a smack up the arse to get me back on track but for personal Craft practices its a matter of lighting the candles on my Altar and making a prayer before meditation. So yes starts off lightly.

Nevyn

Personally I think the notion of a perfect balance to be a complete oxymoron when talking about a person, their life and esp spiritual growth.

A perfect balance in such terms would mean to me stasis and with in that there is no change or growth, no ups or downs.

The idea of balance to me only makes sense in terms of a working balance.
One which is constantly re corrected and adjusted, which means you have to be aware enough to put in place that process.

Walking a spiritual path can sometimes seem like riding a unicycle blind folded while holding on to a pole which is alight on each end, along a tight rope which is secured to pole on a deck of a ship.

Yeah perfect balance is soooo not going to work in that case.

All the huge cranes we have seen about the country while we were still building like loons, work on balance, but the work load and the conditions change from day to day and change as the load gets higher and as the many forces of physical universe push, pull and play on it.

Only by constantly correcting is the goal achieved and even then when the work is done the cranes are left to free wheel and turn with the winds so that they are not damaged or torn down by them. (Once saw this from the upper windows of Tallagh hospital the huge industrial cranes turning with the wind against the sunset)

I think it's just doing what is needed, be it doing very little for our own sakes, or a lot for our won sakes as if we dont' look after ourselves we can't look to or after others
and when we can doing what we can for friends, family and wider community when it's needed.

Some times it's easier to notice the cycles which are external rather then internal.

chebe

Thank you all for your replies, there are some very interesting ideas and images of balance, lots to keep me mulling for a while. Also, I have to say, it's great to hear that other people know what I'm talking about, and that there are no replies of 'you just aren't dedicated enough'.

Hmmm... I really am going to have to think for a while