Too old to move on??

pinkpigs

Lately I've been thinking a lot about up'ing sticks and moving. Broke up with my ex of 12 years last year, dislike my job, I have some really good friends but I just can't seem to settle or find contentment in anything at the moment. Two things holding me back, first is my Mam isn't well so it would have to be somewhere not a million miles away and second is I just bought a house. I have no emotional attachment to the house and just see it as a house and not my home. I just about to turn 35 and think I'm just to old to go and do something drastic.

Any thoughts or opinions welcomed.

P.P.

Xiney

Hi pinkpigs,
I've moved your post from the Ladies' Lounge - Personal Issues exists pretty much to give advice whereas tLL exists for discussion and I feel your thread would do better here.

Xiney

LegacyUser

If you can sort out the house, I would say go for it, if it's what you want to do. Who knows, maybe a brand new start could be good for you.....

solovely

Of course you're not too old!! 35 is still so young. Why would you stay somewhere you are not happy. You don't owe anyone anything. Making a fresh start can be great and so refreshing, although if I were you I'd want to do it miles away in another country, but even in Ireland, i'm sure you can carve out a new life, just make sure you realise it'll take work. You will have to work really hard at making new friends, it's not like being 21 again when everyone is open to new people!

The house thing could be a big issue though. If you move out in less than 2 years of buying and are found out by revenue, you will lose your status as first time buyer and have to pay back stamp duty. Also, if you move out and rent it, you will lose your TRS, which would be a big bummer. Also, in the current climate, it could be really difficult to get renters to cover the mortgage. Still, if you really want to go, I'm sure you'll figure out ways to make this work!
Not sure if you are in negative equity, but if you are, you won't be able to sell it.

Bellablue

Hi Pinkpigs,

I'm in much the same situation as you. Just out of marriage (together 12 years). I'm still in the family home (which we're trying to sell) and at present my mum is living with me.

I'm desperate for a fresh start. Feel like there's so much I haven't done/seen and really want to use what's happened as a push to get me going. Friends think I'm a bit mad though and can't understand why I'm considering moving away. I've thought about other places in Ireland but also further afield.

I know if I stay here nothing will change, and I'm not happy with my life as it is. My one issue is my mum. We've no other family close by, and although she would in theory be able to live alone, I'm still a little worried about being too far away from her.

I don't think you're too old. I've thought long and hard about this over the last few months and come to the conclusion that although a move will be a very difficult thing to do, I would rather try this now than wait another 10 years and have more regrets.

Best of luck!
Bella

Dudess

Why would you let something that in no way stops you moving... stop you moving? It would be different if you had a child, but other than that, I can't see what's stopping you other than "It's not the thing to do". The "thing to do" is whatever makes you happy.

LegacyUser

No way are you too old. Im in a similiar situation, Im 35 aswell and Im chomping at the bit to make my move. I know what I want to do, it'll take going back to college for 4years but what the hell, it'll be worth it.
Sometimes you get to a point in your life where you know you have to make a big change. Either that or hang on and wait for the sweet embrace of death! Sounds like you're mind is already made up OP. I know its scary but even more scary is living a life you hate.

LegacyUser

pinkpigs wrote: »

I just can't seem to settle or find contentment in anything at the moment.

A question... Why do you think leaving all you know and are familiar with will bring you contentment? I ask because I was thre same as you when I finished my engagement. Uppsed sticks and left the country for 2 years at the age of 30.

Do I regret it? Yes

I left a permanent job that I didnt particularily like. I spent all my savings, I had a ball when I was away but if I had my time back I woldnt go. I came back and everyone had moved on. Took a big step back in work in both monetary and responsibilty terms and am only doing ok since...

You are running away, just as I did and you will not find contentment (cliche alert) unless you are content inside and it doesnt matter where you go, you wont find it outside of you... I wouldnt go.. i would work on myself and making a life for myself here.

Dudess

True. I guess there's no point in just moving for the sake of moving - maybe age does make a difference in that sense, as in, it doesn't really matter if you're 19, but if you're 35 you need consistency on the CV or employers might be put off.

If I get a better job elsewhere, you won't see me for dust, but I'm not gonna move somewhere else just for the sake of it, and to a job that's no different to what I'm doing now.

caseyann

pinkpigs wrote: »

Lately I've been thinking a lot about up'ing sticks and moving. Broke up with my ex of 12 years last year, dislike my job, I have some really good friends but I just can't seem to settle or find contentment in anything at the moment. Two things holding me back, first is my Mam isn't well so it would have to be somewhere not a million miles away and second is I just bought a house. I have no emotional attachment to the house and just see it as a house and not my home. I just about to turn 35 and think I'm just to old to go and do something drastic.

Any thoughts or opinions welcomed.

P.P.

I would if i were you,take a sabbatical,Rent out the house for six months and head off on a break for yourself.
You arent to old to do anything you feel you need, and ask some people to keep an eye on your mother.Dont go to far if worried about your mother so you can get back quick enough, just take a maybe European trip if you can.And find your feet again perhaps.
Best of luck

nimrodsson

All you need to is find out whether its 'running away' or a real change. Real change is good, and i certainly don't think your too old for it. Sure, you have as much as your life to go than you have already lived... why wouldn't you?