Sent a facebook message to a guy!

LegacyUser

I talked to a guy in the pub for a little while a few weeks ago, no flirting- just chat with him and his mates - i remembered him as he was from same area and knew my ex boyfriend. Then friday night im sure i saw him out again and he was just looking at me. I THINK it was him. So i sent him a message on facebook asking was it him etc ( i did this as i fancy him ) he hasnt repled yet. I told my friend what i did and she said it was sooo stupid of me to do that. What it a mistake to do it?

Taltos

Just don't get stuck in FB relationship tennis.
Personally I use it less and less, and find that it can cause so many issues.

However on the bright side - well done for taking some initiative and at least letting the guy know you were thinking of him - whether or not it was him

IrishEyes19

You're not stupid. I honestly think game playing is just childish so if people are going to say you were stupid for taking the initiative to get talking to someone you fancy than honestly its jealously or prudishness that's getting their back up about it.

You've nothing to lose really. He'll either reply or wont and if he does and seems keen to chat, fair play and if not, well you can move on and be happy that at least you tried.

tenchi-fan

Taltos wrote: »

Just don't get stuck in FB relationship tennis.

+1

Get the relationship off fb immediately. Otherwise your mind will make a completely different picture of this guy than what he's really like.

I think it's fine that you messaged him. If he doesn't message back, that's the end of it. do NOT send him another message apologising for the first message, or asking did he get the first message.. in fact never message him again (unless he replies!)

Zen65

facebookmesager wrote: »

FYP:
Was it a mistake to do it?

Yes, but to put this into context, only a small mistake and you will make many, many mistakes of far greater magnitude in the remainder of your life; this is not the one to worry about.

As a previous poster has said, do not get caught up in FB tennis, it is the stuff that wrecks heads.

Speak to this guy, in person, see where things lead.


Be at peace,

Z

LegacyUser

op here - ive been thinking about this and its only a message - if he's freaked out by a small message on facebook then he has bigger problems to deal with lol. In the big sale of things 'who cares'. I have no intention of sending another message - the one will do

Colonel_McCoy

He may not have seen it yet. fair play to you for sending the mail.

shellyboo

It is only a message but... imo, more than a bit stalkery. If I got a FB message from someone I'd met once saying they thought they saw me in a pub/club, I'd be utterly mystified why they didn't come up and say hello and instead chose to tell me about it later by Facebook. I'd be totally creeped out, and that's being honest, OP.

tenchi-fan

shellyboo wrote: »

It is only a message but... imo, more than a bit stalkery. If I got a FB message from someone I'd met once saying they thought they saw me in a pub/club, I'd be utterly mystified why they didn't come up and say hello and instead chose to tell me about it later by Facebook. I'd be totally creeped out, and that's being honest, OP.

I wouldn't. I'd be pretty pleased!

keane2097

+1

People are ridiculously quick to call absolutely everything "stalkerish" on this forum.

I suspect these people have less social interactions than they let on.

LegacyUser

I didnt go up to him at the time because i was talking to another guy and when he hugged me the guy left. Also I dont think its stalkerish at all - Id be pleased if someone sent me a facebook message also saying they rememebered me

RacoonQueen

Don't see a problem with it myself. No different to sending a text and saying the same thing.

LegacyUser

Well, I'm a guy and met a girl in the pub a couple of months back.

Day after I got a friend request.

I was flattered. Accepted it and we went on a date.

All is going well.

Sometimes FB makes life a bit easier - for initial contact.

LegacyUser

how embarrassing - he never replied. And im sure he was on facebook again as he has more friends now than when i sent it. Again a guy i liked is not interested. same as the last guy i liked and he didnt bother replying to my text. Yet I have a guy texting me that likes me and im not interested in him. Im totally giving up. Its just me and my horses from now on

IrishEyes19

dfjkgjfdklgdf wrote: »

how embarrassing - he never replied. And im sure he was on facebook again as he has more friends now than when i sent it. Again a guy i liked is not interested. same as the last guy i liked and he didnt bother replying to my text. Yet I have a guy texting me that likes me and im not interested in him. Im totally giving up. Its just me and my horses from now on

OP, I wouldnt be too worried, firstly he might not be on fb as much, he could have added friends ages ago and they accepted him at a later date, happens all the time. Second you mention that he knew your ex bf, is it possible that, that made it kind of awkward for him. I can imagine him saying to his friends, .......'s ex just sent me a message on fb, and his friends telling him ,"nah stay clear of that lad, you dont want trouble or any conflict with that."

Just a thought. As in if a guy who I knew their ex, sent me a message on fb, Id be really wary about it.

LegacyUser

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

OP, I wouldnt be too worried, firstly he might not be on fb as much, he could have added friends ages ago and they accepted him at a later date, happens all the time. Second you mention that he knew your ex bf, is it possible that, that made it kind of awkward for him. I can imagine him saying to his friends, .......'s ex just sent me a message on fb, and his friends telling him ,"nah stay clear of that lad, you dont want trouble or any conflict with that."

Just a thought. As in if a guy who I knew their ex, sent me a message on fb, Id be really wary about it.

op here - i dont think they were 'friends' but he knew my ex as they lived near each other etc - but they wouldnt go out drinking together. But the thing I dont get is how you can ignore a messge - i always reply to messages even if i dont want to - id feel it was rude not to. Ah il stop stressing - im giving up on men and going to concentrate on other things - its always better to have other interests and hobbies to get your mind off things right?

Distorted

dfjkgjfdklgdf wrote: »

how embarrassing - he never replied. And im sure he was on facebook again as he has more friends now than when i sent it. Again a guy i liked is not interested. same as the last guy i liked and he didnt bother replying to my text. Yet I have a guy texting me that likes me and im not interested in him. Im totally giving up. Its just me and my horses from now on

Sounds like he doesn't have the best communication skills. Surely the form for politeness, even if a party isn't interested, is one brief reply and then ignore any other messages or reply very slowly.

IrishEyes19

ghfkldfghdfl wrote: »

op here - i dont think they were 'friends' but he knew my ex as they lived near each other etc - but they wouldnt go out drinking together. But the thing I dont get is how you can ignore a messge - i always reply to messages even if i dont want to - id feel it was rude not to. Ah il stop stressing - im giving up on men and going to concentrate on other things - its always better to have other interests and hobbies to get your mind off things right?

Well I wouldnt say give up, :P, because you never know what could happen today or tomorrow, but Id certainly focus on other things to get your mind of this guy. I agree...ya its rude not to reply, but he may have just been a little freaked also, getting a random message. Depends on the person really.

Wonkagirl

tenchi-fan wrote: »

I wouldn't. I'd be pretty pleased!

likewise! has happened me a few times and i've been well chuffed!

(apart from the guy who told me in the pub that he had anger issues- that one didnt float my boat much)

dont panic OP. as others have said, if it's enough to turn him off, fock him, he'd have been turned off by something else anyway. if a guy likes you he likes you, and he'll be delighted to receive the message.. if not, he didnt fancy you in the first place anyway!

LegacyUser

op here - oh ive forgotton about him now anyways lol - ive no time for people that don't have manners to reply. I mite be going on a date soon with my friends boyfriends friend - he has manners thanks for replys all.