What to do?

LegacyUser

Basically to cut a long story short there is a lad on my college
course that i can't stand. He's the only person out of the whole group that i don't like.

Anyway he's constantly putting people down and bitching behind peoples backs. Whenever he's around i feel uncomfortable he's always giving subtle little put downs and trying to make me look stupid in front of everyone else. I tried to tolerate him in the past but i'm seriously sick of the sight of him at this stage.

Having a conversation with him is so physically draining because you're constantly wondering what he's going to say or ask next and whether he's being genuine or is just looking for amunition that he can use to talk s*** about you when your not
there. I realise he more than likely has a few issues and is insecure in himself but i though this s*** is left behind once your at college. To put it bluntly he's an absolute c*** 90% of the time sometimes he seems okay but it doesn't last very long.

The thing is i can't really avoid him because he follows me allot and our group sit together in the canteen so its not like i can just avoid him. I'm trying to be positive with my life i've had some issues (shyness and low confidence) in my past but i just feel really unlucky that such a horribly negative person happened to be in the same group as me (literally the one person i can't stand)

I've thought about just completely ignoring him but i don't know that would probably make things more awkward i just wish he'd dissapear to be honest. How would you deal with a person like this?

Izzy711

I would either do one of two things;

1) I would just ignore him. If he says something negative turn to someone else and change the subject. When he says something positive make sure you address that with him. Hopefully when he sees that he gets more attention from saying positive things rather than negative ones he won't be as negative.

2) Tell him off. I have to deal with a gf of one of friends who is like this. I have told her many times that she is so negative. She says that she tries to change and doesn't know what to do. I have suggested therapy. I have told her that being so negative does not look good for her at all. It hurts her in all of her relationships; friends, love life, work, etc.

Good luck! I hope things work out for you. Negative Nancy's are so draining!

Zen65

issueatcollege wrote: »

How would you deal with a person like this?

30 years ago I was this young man. I had a wit and a tongue so sharp I could cut diamonds with it. I thought I was amusing people, but I was mainly amusing myself.

One day somebody said to me "I don't like it when you disrespect people that way" and it knocked the wind out of me. It was the kindest thing anyone could have done, because immediately afterwards I changed my ways.

So, ..... and this is just a suggestion from an ageing Buddhist, maybe you should simply tell him you do not like it when he puts others down, that it lowers the morale of the group, and that you think he should use his wit for more positive things?


Be at peace,

Z

miss no stars

him "blah blah blah negative blah"

you "dude... why so negative? Seriously, chill and just be happy or something"


Be very chilled about it and almost make a joke of it. no need to add fuel to a fire. Just get him to chill out and subtley tell him it's bothering people.