really down about passive smoking

LegacyUser

OK, so I'm 21 & still living at home (can't afford to move out, & saving what I do have for after college).

My parents have been smoking since before I was born, so I've grown up with passive smoking.
Their smoking as naturally gotten worse over the years (my dad's on 20/30 marlboro red a day)

There's nothing I can do to make them stop, my dad is extremely stubborn & has never taken criticisim well (not that I criticise.) & my mum just gets really bitchy whenever I even hint at her smoking disturbing me.

I know I don't have a right to advise them to stop, but they're both in their 50's & have had more than enough time to enjoy this habit, & now I'm just concerned for their health. They don't eat well either, but it just doesn't seem like they care.

When people ask "do I smoke", I might as well say "Yes",
I look like sh*t for my age (bags under eyes, some wrinkles, it'll only get worse) I cough & spit up flem whenever I play sports.
My clothes always stink & I just feel so groggy & upset whenever I'm home doing work.

I'm really depressed for my own health, I'm really depressed in general. I just feel so helpless, & I don't know what to do.

Ickle Magoo

If you are at all concerned about your health then get yourself to the doctors for a full check-up. All you can do in respect of your parents smoking is talk to them and see if you can come to a compromise about their smoking around you.

If it really is affecting you so badly then I'd be doing everything in my power to move out. Many people study, hold down job(s) and have their own place, if you want to get away from the smoke and get healthy then I'm sure there is a way.

Best of luck

LegacyUser

Thanks for the reply,

just asking is it possible to just get the lung function test, rather than the full health check up? do I organise it through my gp?

sorry if this crosses the medical advice line!!!

tenchi-fan

Did you post this within the last year? Because I recall an almost identical post! Perhaps it wasn't you who posted it , but if I recall the last op was told to take a bit more personal responsibility and not to blame their parents for everything.

I'm going to ignore the bit about your parents' health because something tells me that's your main reason for posting anyway. It's their house and they seem to like smoking so don't make them feel uncomfortable in their own home.

There's no reason for your clothes to stink.
There's no smoke in your room I assume. There's no smoke in the washing machine, tumble drier or clothes line. When you're at home and in shared areas just make sure not to wear your good clothes - a tracksuit is fine for knocking around the house.

Regarding the bags under eyes and wrinkles - well that's just aging really. Get a better nights sleep and use moisturiser and makeup.

You should try to make some compromises with your parents. If there's a spare room put a tv and couch in it and use it as your living room. Ask them not to smoke in the bathroom if you share a bathroom, and maybe ask them not to smoke in the kitchen.

If you can't come to an agreement I think you should move out. there's no point in saving for the future when you're unhappy with the present.

Ickle Magoo

so down wrote: »

Thanks for the reply,

just asking is it possible to just get the lung function test, rather than the full health check up? do I organise it through my gp?

sorry if this crosses the medical advice line!!!

If you have bags under your eyes and are feeling groggy then what harm getting a full MOT? If there is any issue with your lung function in particular your GP will refer you to a specialist.

ordinary_girl

tenchi-fan wrote: »

There's no reason for your clothes to stink.
There's no smoke in your room I assume. There's no smoke in the washing machine, tumble drier or clothes line. When you're at home and in shared areas just make sure not to wear your good clothes - a tracksuit is fine for knocking around the house.

I used to live with a smoker and the smell gets into everything, even the room I was staying in. It gets into the carpet, the fabric and even when I'd be going out and would only spend a few minutes in the kitchen the smell would cling to my clothes and be near impossible to get out so it's not quite so easy to banish the smell.

OP, honestly in this situation I think the best you can do is try to move out. They're smokers and it's their house, so chances are they're not going to change and pretty much everyone loses in arguments with their parents so I doubt there'll be any satisfactory outcome if you keep bringing it up. I guess you'll just have to tolerate it until you can afford to move out.

tenchi-fan

tenchi-fan wrote: »

There's no reason for your clothes to stink.
There's no smoke in your room I assume. There's no smoke in the washing machine, tumble drier or clothes line. When you're at home and in shared areas just make sure not to wear your good clothes - a tracksuit is fine for knocking around the house.

I must be living on a different planet to you. Smoke gets EVERYWHERE. It hardly respects boundaries like bedroom doors! If someone in the house is a smoker, the smell is all over the house. I used to live in a flat where people would smoke in the living room at night, and I'd wake up with chest pains and feeling groggy even though I'd stayed in my room. My current neighbours over the corridor are smokers and I can often smell the smoke in my room, even though they live in another flat! Clothes start to smell quickly when you're in the same room as a smoker or where someone has just smoked.

Regarding the bags under eyes and wrinkles - well that's just aging really. Get a better nights sleep and use moisturiser and makeup.

Aging? At 21? 21-year-olds should not have wrinkles. I would be very surprised if living in a house full of smoke for 21 years hasn't affected the poor guy/girl's health. I'd be out of there like a shot.

thefeatheredcat

OP,

sadly, it's their house and their choice to smoke. There's nothing that you can say that will stop them, and until the day that they decide for themselves to stop you have little choice.

My parents used to smoke when I was a kid, cigarette smoke was the worst as pipe tobacco wasn't as bad. But the smell got everywhere. Everywhere and all over, clothes, hair everything.

I've lived in house shares in college where housemates smoked inside... and it was awful. Even as a smoker myself I can't stand the smell of it in the house. There's nothing worse than someone sitting watching tv all day practically chain smoking, no windows open, 2 minutes with them and the eyes would water, and my clothes and hair would be rank.

I should mention I smoke outside especially in the rain as my house mates in current house share are non-smokers and wouldn't like to put them through the smell of it inside.

One thing that might help to combat the smoke getting in your bedroom is putting a towel or draft stopper in between the floor and the door. It may help keep the stink out.

But I think at the end of the day, getting yourself checked out is a good idea, even for your own peace of mind.

The only thing is that if you can't find a compromise somehow, and it's effecting your health and bothering you, then moving out may be the next option.

Zen65

tenchi-fan wrote: »

There's no reason for your clothes to stink.
There's no smoke in your room I assume. There's no smoke in the washing machine, tumble drier or clothes line.

Spoken like a smoker. The reality for anyone else is that having a no-smoking area in your house is like having a no-pissing area in a swimming pool; it's pointless.

OP, I grew up with two parents who smoked (until my father died in his 50's as a result) and I empathise with your situation. You need to move out, but get to your GP first and have yourself checked just to reassure yourself.

In the meantime, spend as little time as possible in the house.


Be at peace,

Z

tenchi-fan

Zen65 wrote: »

Spoken like a smoker.

I don't smoke!

It's fine saying "smoke gets everywhere" but if the op really wants to make things a bit more pleasant a no smoking room would help. Keep the doors closed and keep it well-ventilated.

whatdoicare

tenchi-fan wrote: »

Did you post this within the last year? Because I recall an almost identical post!

That may have been me except it was my mom insisting on smoking in my house. We came to arguing about it eventually, now she rarely visits and smokes outside with the door closed. She's still not happy about it but I don't really care, I haven't had a single asthma attack since I've been smoke free

LegacyUser

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

If you have bags under your eyes and are feeling groggy then what harm getting a full MOT? If there is any issue with your lung function in particular your GP will refer you to a specialist.

Sorry but what is a MOT?

BettePorter

I am horrified to think that this still goes on with ppl and their kids. its the most disgusting thing to see parents in a car or to know of parents who smoke anywhere in the home they share with their children. my ex was a big smoker and when i stayed over the smell of my clothes, bag,everything was absolutely attrocious. nothing is saved from from the stink of smoke within the home no matter where you 'try' to confine it to. the carpets/ curtains/ stink to high heaven.

I really feel for you op. one parent at it is bad enough but two is just horrific. Of course the op has a right to be annoyed at this, i can't believe how selfish her parents are being, but given that they probably have sone it since yo were a child, they obviously couldn't give a toss about your well being in that respect so they're not going to change now.

~They only ppl who will think that this is not an issue are smokers, or those ppl who have lived with a smoker and become immune to how disgusting it really is. Trust me , You stink !

PS; MOT is the British version of the NCT............Basically , an overhaul / check up.

Ickle Magoo

unreg12345 wrote: »

Sorry but what is a MOT?

UK version of NCT...getting an MOT is a well known metaphor for getting checked over and anything fixed that needs be.