Some Advice...

LegacyUser

I am 19 and my girlfriend is also 19.

She has been sharing my bedroom in my house where I live with my mother for the past year now. The principle reason being is because her life at home is hell. While I love her and love spending time with her, its leading to so many destructive fights. We hit each other, call each other names and fight can break out over things as simple as something not getting cooked properly. She cries daily over anything, she has repeatedly threatened suicide if some fights get out of hand. Its like her way of saying I don't want to argue anymore and I have no choice but to give in.

I have tried to get help from her mother/father but I recieved the following responce when I told her mother that her daughter has disappeared and turned off her phone for the past 6 hours at 2am "Well thats not my problem, you sort it out" So it is not exactly like I can turn to her family for help when we fight and shes disappears into the night.

I recently asked her to try and find somewhere to stay because after a year of spending a cramped room with her I could do with some alone time every now and then, since I can't remember the last time I had time to myself for more than 20 minutes. I didn't recieve a good responce, she told me she won't find a job because its her 3rd year of college and needs to focus and therefore cannot afford a place to stay.

It ended in her storming off again in tears.

I'm just sick of the fighting and the constant struggle, I barely get any sleep as it is between fighting, my own college and my own 3 day a week job as a night porter. Every day feels like an up hill challenge.

At my age life is hard enough and I'm expected to sort all of this out, i.e. get her counciling sessions and set them all up for her and make her go. I don't mean to bitch because I do love and I am willing but the only thing that I can think of that can of is to go to counciling. I guess I just need some advice as I am the only one there is to take care of her since no one else seems to care. The reason she is so messed up mentally is because of her horrible childhood with her family at home.

Any help anyone?

miec

Hi Op

That sounds like a horrible situation and your relationship with your girlfriend is highly dysfunctional, espicially the fact that you are hitting each other. It sounds like her behaviour is a result of her family and whilst yes you should care for your other half, you are not responsible for her yet she is making you responsible for her life. What do your parents make of this? I am sure they have some idea of what is going on? I think you will need to be very emotionally tough with her and insist she moves out, I am sure she is getting a grant and she could share a place with friends, and she might have to get a job, but all of these issues are her problem not yours. You have the right to a peaceful life without all this stress and you need to look after yourself as well.

Fahrrad

Agree with above. Furthermore, if your girlfriend is not making you feel good about yourself, and indeed is making your life worse, then leave her. You're too young to have to put up with this kind of nonsense.