Who decides?

Pighead

Today whilst walking into town, Pighead burped quite loudly, farted pretty powerfully and finally he gently picked his nose before swallowing the renegade piece of snot.

On the way home, he sneezed causing spit and bits of phleghm to spray over his fingers, then coughed pretty noisily for about a minute or two finally a few minutes later he blew his nose causing a loud trumpet like noise to emit from his being.

All pretty natural bodily functions yet for some crazy reason on the way into town Pighead was treated like the love child of Myra Hindley and Larry Murphy whereas on the return journey he was largely ignored and left to get on with his business.

Who decided which bodily function activities are acceptable and which ones are foul? If Pighead had his way he'd change farting and nose picking into the acceptable category and maybe shove sneezing into the unacceptable. Don't really sneeze to much so it wouldn't really affect this poster.

Mr Benevolent

Pighead! My dear Pighead! I'll go back and read your post now.

Edit: Shades of Flutt there Pighead. To my cost I have discovered that picking your nose and eating it in public is frowned upon.

Biggins

Yay, welcome back Pighead!

alwaysadub

If you'd blown your nose on the person's beside you jacket, you might've got a bit more attention on the way home too.

Mint Sauce

in some countries pighead it would be rude of you if you didn't.



welcome back

not sure about the nose picking though

AnonoBoy

Where's Pighead been?

Nobody told me he was going anywhere. I didn't even get to sign the card - we got him a card right?

Pighead

alwaysadub wrote: »

If you'd blown your nose on the person's beside you jacket, you might've got a bit more attention on the way home too.

There was nobody beside Pighead. there never is. Over the past ten years Pighead has been carefully cultivating an image of a lonesome yet edgy human being. Pighead yearns to someday be known as "The Lone Wolf". At the moment they call him "Fartypants" but Pigheads confident that will change come the decades end.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Pighead wrote: »

Today whilst walking into town...

Which town?

galwayrush

I say let Pighead decide and we'll elect him Taoiseach and he can make his decisions law.

Mint Sauce

Cheyenne Whining Baboon wrote: »

Which town?

Letriem of course

:rolleyes:

AnonoBoy

Pighead wrote: »

There was nobody beside Pighead. there never is. Over the past ten years Pighead has been carefully cultivating an image of a lonesome yet edgy human being. Pighead yearns to someday be known as "The Lone Wolf". At the moment they call him "Fartypants" but Pigheads confident that will change come the decades end.

Does that mean Miss Piggy is imaginary?

squeakyduck

This is one of the most disgusting threads I have ever read in my life. It made me squirm!

AND IT DIDN'T EVEN INVOLVE GOATSE!

galwayrush

squeakyduck wrote: »

This is one of the most disgusting threads I have ever read in my life. It made me squirm!

AND IT DIDN'T EVEN INVOLVE GOATSE!

Give it time....:pac:

Cookie_Monster

Don't burp and fart at the same time, you'll implode :eek:

Pighead

Cheyenne Whining Baboon wrote: »

Which town?

The beautiful town of Dundalk of course. A land full of intelligence and unnatural beauty and where the inhabitants aren't really sure if the word unnatural is spelt unnatural or un-natural. Fear and violence are non-existant. Cooked chickens fly straight into your mouth; the rivers run with beautiful white wine; sexual promiscuity is the norm; and there is a fountain of youth which keeps everyone young and active.

Mankyspuds

Pighead wrote: »

Today whilst walking into town, Pighead burped quite loudly, farted pretty powerfully and finally he gently picked his nose before swallowing the renegade piece of snot.

On the way home, he sneezed causing spit and bits of phleghm to spray over his fingers, then coughed pretty noisily for about a minute or two finally a few minutes later he blew his nose causing a loud trumpet like noise to emit from his being.

All pretty natural bodily functions yet for some crazy reason on the way into town Pighead was treated like the love child of Myra Hindley and Larry Murphy whereas on the return journey he was largely ignored and left to get on with his business.

Who decided which bodily function activities are acceptable and which ones are foul? If Pighead had his way he'd change farting and nose picking into the acceptable category and maybe shove sneezing into the unacceptable. Don't really sneeze to much so it wouldn't really affect this poster.

Sound perfectly normal to me

Pighead

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Does that mean Miss Piggy is imaginary?

She is as real as the fingers on your hand AnonoBoy. Pighead often looks at her and thinks "Surely this picture of beauty they call Miss Piggy cannot be real. Surely she is a figment of an imagination that has been addled and twisted from years of mushroom and skittles abuse. But no, she is not imaginary. She is very real. When Pighead slaps her bottom, she squeals with delight. When he lies on the couch all day she hits him and calls him nasty names. When she holds his hand, his hair stands on end. She is without a shadow of a doubt 4 real.

SugarHigh

Cheyenne Whining Baboon wrote: »

Which town?

I think you've made this joke enough by now.

4zn76tysfajdxp

SugarHigh wrote: »

I think you've made this joke enough by now.

Joke?

orourkeda

Is it normal practice for roma's to breast feed on the dart.

She was flashing some big ass titties.

Pighead

orourkeda wrote: »

Is it normal practice for roma's to breast feed on the dart.

She was flashing some big ass titties.

Breast feeding on the dart is perfectly normal to Perfect and no European beaurucrat will ever force him to give it up.

Ass titties however aren't quite so normal and that lady should probably see a body specialist about them. Are you sure they weren't piles?

AckwelFoley

Glad you brought up this subject Pighead, it was a question i ponderd this evening alone

Over the last few weeks i have consumed each day 2 tins of Mackrel in Sunflower oil.

The benefits of such a diet are countless, there is however one side effect, severely potent flatulence, so potent infact it caused a nose bleed to occur for my poor fiance.


Apparently the smell of my fart made her vomit with such vigor that it caused her nose to bleed.

So why is farting unacceptable?


Nosebleeds i assume

OutlawPete

Well, there are men like Joachim Löw who just do as they please and social etiquette means naff all to them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gug0g6xmNqY

Mr Benevolent

Pighead wrote: »

The beautiful town of Dundalk of course. A land full of intelligence and unnatural beauty and where the inhabitants aren't really sure if the word unnatural is spelt unnatural or un-natural. Fear and violence are non-existant. Cooked chickens fly straight into your mouth; the rivers run with beautiful white wine; sexual promiscuity is the norm; and there is a fountain of youth which keeps everyone young and active.

I thought that was Swords.

Pighead

Confab wrote: »

I thought that was Swords.

Pighead's not quite sure how you've mistaken the Utopian town of Dundalk with a horrible place of hopeless and unsatisfied desires. A bottomless pit of suffering and airplane engine noises. A place of weeping and gnashing of teeth and where the women's legs are hairier than those of an otter.

filthymcnasty

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead's not quite sure how you've mistaken the Utopian town of Dundalk with a horrible place of hopeless and unsatisfied desires. A bottomless pit of suffering and airplane engine noises. A place of weeping and gnashing of teeth and where the women's legs are hairier than those of an otter.

Reminds me of an airport Ryanair once flew me to.

Son Of A Vidic

Pighead wrote: »

Today whilst walking into town, Pighead burped quite loudly, farted pretty powerfully

The Force is strong in this one.