"I used to fancy you" The Ladies speak

biscuits123

This was posted in After Hours and received the sort of responses, one would expect from AH.

[\quote]
I happened to bump into a girl I worked with a few years ago earlier this evening. During the usual conversation that takes place in these circumstances she blurts out "I used to fancy the pants off you back then"

Part of me was flattered and part of me was offended she no longer did Do you take similar comments as flattering or offensive?
[quote\]

I’m far more interested in TLL view on this. When ever I hear it, I’m a little flattered. But suspect the guy saying it is just using it to come on to me. What does everyone else think?

KyussBishop

Not a lady, but most probably means they still fancy you and are expressing that clearly but indirectly (not always though, but I think most people would have in mind that it could be taken that way)

Jessibelle

I'm a lady andfor me it's not a chat up line, it means exactly what it says: I used to fancy you, I don't any more ... It's not a come-on, more a back-handed compliment or just a point of conversation. Sure, I used to fancy some of my longest friends briefly years back, (we're talking maybe a few weeks of infatuation?), but even the idea of going down that road now is similar to the idea of dating family :eek:

WindSock

Could just mean she used to fancy you and no longer does so feels comfortable enough to tell you that. Although I have no idea why she would bother saying it, either way. Maybe as a compliment as previous poster said.

jen-

Whats the point in saying it if it is no longer true, in my opinion it would turn a perfectly normal situation awkward unless the person who says it wants to hear somthing similar back in return, thus leading to a coversation involves '' oh really I wonder what could have happened if we both knew *flutters eyelashes''

Asphyxia

I have actually said this to my boyfriend before we started going out, and at the time I still fancied him so I do think that it can be said and still mean you fancy them. It did open up a whole conversation and was probably why he asked for my number luckily saying it worked to my advantage In my case it was actually true because I did madly fancy him a couple of years beforehand but I can see how it could be used a chat up line.

Novella

Maybe "I used to fancy you" is just easier than saying, "Hey, I actually really like you". It gets the person thinking, plants seeds of thought. They know that at some stage you've found them attractive so they're probably gonna start wondering if you still do and that gets the wheels in motion.

Obviously it's a bit confusing because maybe some people really do mean used to, but I dunno. It's not always easy to say exactly how you feel.

kiwi123

i would take it as at one point in the past I did fancy you, but I don't anymore. like if it was somebody trying it as a chat up line i figure it would be more like do ya want to go for a coffee and catch up not something that some people may consider insulting.

Fremen

It might be a kind of catharsis- if there's something she wanted to say for years and could never quite work up the guts to spit out, maybe there's some relief to be had in saying it now, once she's older and has less invested emotionally.
A bit like going back and doing things you were scared to do as a kid.

Handsome Bob

Novella wrote: »

Maybe "I used to fancy you" is just easier than saying, "Hey, I actually really like you". It gets the person thinking, plants seeds of thought.

It's just better to be direct though, that line is way too vunerable to a number of different interpretations. Personally, I would see it as a negative phrase, that would indeed suggest that there is something about your appearance that is no longer attractive. It is, IMO, a backhanded compliment.

Lukker-

I used to fancy you. Now I think I can do better..

The Big Red Button

biscuits123 wrote: »

This was posted in After Hours and received the sort of responses, one would expect from AH.

[\quote]
I happened to bump into a girl I worked with a few years ago earlier this evening. During the usual conversation that takes place in these circumstances she blurts out "I used to fancy the pants off you back then"

Part of me was flattered and part of me was offended she no longer did Do you take similar comments as flattering or offensive?
[quote\]

I’m far more interested in TLL view on this. When ever I hear it, I’m a little flattered. But suspect the guy saying it is just using it to come on to me. What does everyone else think?

Well you see I wouldn't ever be "offended" by someone not fancying me anymore (or not fancying me ever, for that matter.)

I know loads of guys that I think are goodlooking and funny and intelligent and generally great guys, but I don't necessarily fancy them. It's not an insult. It's just, the attraction is there or it isn't, and it's not a bad thing if it isn't.

I'm thinking for example of one of my closest male friends. We scored loads of times over the years, and even went out for a few weeks at one stage. I used to fancy the arse off him, and vice versa, but now it's purely platonic. And that's not a bad thing - we're a million times closer now, we probably respect each other much more as people. I still think he's "fanciable", if that makes sense, but I don't fancy him at all anymore and I don't think that's a bad thing, and I'm certainly not offended by the fact that he doesn't fancy me any more!

If someone says "I used to fancy you", you should take it at face value. Yes, it's a compliment that they fancied you once. But the fact that they don't fancy you anymore, they are not saying that you've gotten less attractive or less fanciable or anything! It's just that for whatever reason, their feelings have changed, and it's not a big deal and it's not an insult. I don't know, I think some people just like to find a way to take offence at every little comment!

Nervous Wreck

Any time a girl's told me she used to fancy me, it ended up being that she still did. I've also said "I used to fancy you" to girls when I still did. It just broached the topic a little easier, took some pressure off....

Lia_lia

People actually say that?

pickarooney

Out of sight, out of mind - she doesn't see you regularly any more so she's lost the habit of thinking about you. I wouldn't say her tastes have necessarily changed or you've become less attractive.

Wibbs

pickarooney wrote: »

Out of sight, out of mind - she doesn't see you regularly any more so she's lost the habit of thinking about you. I wouldn't say her tastes have necessarily changed or you've become less attractive.

It can also go the other way, where two people who didnt dig each other, dont see each other for a while and upon meeting the sparks fly.

mashling

You know, I think it would work really well as a chat-up line. If someone said they used to fancy you, wouldn't you perhaps unconsciously try that little bit harder to make them fancy you again? And once the eyelash fluttering begins...

Sometimes I think I would make a brilliant sleazy man.

Potatofarl

I think its a great way to chat someone up if you still fancy them! I might even keep it in mind for the weekend...

Niamho!

I've been in 2 situations fairly recently where I've told lads i used to fancy them. If i still fancied them i wouldn't open my mouth! One of them i met on a night out and had a few drinks on board. The other one was a childhood friend and we were chatting on Facebook and i mentioned something that made him ask - I swore he knew the whole time. I definitely fancy neither of them now. Thats just me though. I can see why somebody might tell someone that if they did still fancy them.

Kanoe

met a guy I went to school with for the first time in almost 15 years and he told me I broke his heart. never had a clue he even thought of me like that as we were really good friends at the time. We were both with other people when he said it (he's practically married) so it wasn't a case of getting hit on, it was just an enjoyable walk down memory lane. (I did apologise for never picking up on it though)

Hairspray

I actually said this to a guy this summer!! There was a lad who i was mad about for 2 years but this was a long time ago. I was very drunk and on facebook at the time lol. Had a great idea to tell him how i used to feel. He was grand about it and took it as a compliment more than anything. I could only tell him how i felt because i was 100% over him and tbh it was a bit more closure on that peroid of my life too.

So generally "I used to fancy you" = "I used to like ya, but those feelings went away, you are still a sound guy though!".

metrovelvet

I told a friend of mine I used to fancy him. But I never did fancy him. He always had a crush on me, and I think still does, and I thought [now I realise stupidly after reading this thread] that it would make him feel good to hear that but it not have any repercussions because it was past tense. Now thinking about it, he very possibly could have reframed and revised every detail of the friendship through this new false information.

Wow. That is one of the stupidest lies I ever told. The road to hell and all that.

elleburp

I've said it before and I meant "I used to fancy you and now I'm older I just want that sh*g I used to fantasise about".

I would never say it to someone as a disguised insult, but then I don't tend to insult people anyway.