Teacher made a move on me!

LegacyUser

Hi! I a 17 year old lad I know I'm gay and I don't excatly hide it. I'll be 18 in December. There's a teacher in my school I think he's about 23. I always noticed that he paid extra attetion to me and on Monday evening he made a move on me. I didn't push him off or anything. I lasted for abot 3 minutes. We didn't have sex all clothes stayed on. Don't get me wrong. He did rub my penis and I rubbed his but that was about it. I loved this now to be honest. It was my first experience with a guy.
What should I do?

The Recliner

Moved from PI, this forum also allows Unreg posting and you might get answers from people who have directly experienced this here

sweetie

whether gay, straight or bi a teacher shouldn't be getting sexually involved with a student. he could lose his job. not very professional imo. I think you should nip it in the bud and concentrate on your studies

seanie2

enjoy it. your old enough to handle it.

qwertyphobia1

As said already it's wrong and messy to be doing anything with a teacher. He is way out of order.

You need to meet someone your own age who is't braking the law to have sex with you. Try contacting belongto and going to one of their groups.

Annasopra

He's in a position of power and influence - this situation could end up very very badly for either or both of you. I would recommend not doing anything more about it because of the potential problems. I would also recommend that you join a youth group such as belong to

gmale

He is a creep! You may not know or appreciate this now but he is using his position of authority to influence you. You may grow up and appreciate it, never resent it or may have nightmares about it.

You being 17 and he being 23 is irrelevant, would you feel the same if he was 63 and made a move on you? How do you know he hasnt done this before? Will he do it again to somebody else, to somebody who does not have the maturity to deal with it or somebody younger?

People like him should not be allowed become teachers!

Annasopra

seanie2 wrote: »

enjoy it. your old enough to handle it.

Thats really inappropriate advice

seanie2

think about this for a minute.

"I didn't push him off or anything. I loved this now to be honest"

This lad is after having his first gay experience and all you can say is talk to a Group. He obviously enjoyed every minute of it and all he had to do was walk away from the teacher if not interested. In 3 months time he's old enough to vote, drink etc. Surely he can make up his own mind on the outcome. If it continues sure cant he move teachers for that class and still be in contact with the Guy that started fireworks off inside him.

Goodshape

seanie2 wrote: »

think about this for a minute.

"I didn't push him off or anything. I loved this now to be honest"

This lad is after having his first gay experience and all you can say is talk to a Group. He obviously enjoyed every minute of it and all he had to do was walk away from the teacher if not interested. In 3 months time he's old enough to vote, drink etc. Surely he can make up his own mind on the outcome. If it continues sure cant he move teachers for that class and still be in contact with the Guy that started fireworks off inside him.

But he also felt unsure enough about the situation to come and post here looking for advice.

I hate to get all moral or 'legal' about these sorts of things but usually, as johnnymcg said, teachers are in a position of power and influence. They are essentially your guardians (maybe not at 17, but still) for most hours of the day. Doing what they say is literally in the rule book. That doesn't translate well to any kind of relationship.

Your also old enough to make your own mistakes but if it's advice you're after -- I'd steer clear of this one.

Rick_

If you do like him and he likes you, and it wasn't just some fling you did, why not wait until after you've left school and then talk to him about doing something? You'll both be consenting adults then in the eyes of the law and it's up to you what happens.

I'm presuming that this happened in the class room after school? If I were you I would leave it for now, he shouldn't have made a move on you in the first place and if you back out of it the next time what are you going to do if he gets annoyed over it? Or, what if you go back for more and he's not interested and you like him? Your just gonna feel hurt and used.

Best leave it for now and wait until after. If it was just a bit of fun with him then leave it altogether, if you do like ihm and think he likes you, then wait until after you leave school before you do anything to keep it safe.

Sir Ophiuchus

First of all, I'm glad you enjoyed your first gay experience. However it was really, *really* inappropriate for a teacher to make a move on a student.

He's in a position of responsibility and power, and it'd be very easy for him to take advantage of or exploit you. I wouldn't recommend doing that again, to put it mildly. I'm not getting the impression you want to report him, but I would make it clear if he tries again that it was a bad idea and not going to happen again. If he starts putting pressure on you or victimising you then report him.

Annasopra

seanie2 wrote: »

think about this for a minute.

"I didn't push him off or anything. I loved this now to be honest"

This lad is after having his first gay experience and all you can say is talk to a Group. He obviously enjoyed every minute of it and all he had to do was walk away from the teacher if not interested. In 3 months time he's old enough to vote, drink etc. Surely he can make up his own mind on the outcome. If it continues sure cant he move teachers for that class and still be in contact with the Guy that started fireworks off inside him.

Yes - the teacher could also totally exploit him as well - seriously - Its morally wrong of the teacher to do this and the OP should be warned off - he can have more experiences or in situations where the other person is not exploiting his vulnerabilities

Azure_sky

Sorry, could'nt help it. Seriously, what he's doing is a disgrace, he should be reprimanded. At that age a person can often be unsure about their sexuality. You may have liked, but he did not know how you would have felt about it. Statistically speaking there would have been a 85-95% chance you would'nt have liked it,perhaps even repulsed by it, and he would have been aware of these liklihoods. In such a hypothetical situation it is conceivable that a student might find it difficult to give a definitive no to the sexual advance, due the authoritive position of the teacher. Also, you think he's 23, but he could have been older, and I think it's highly irresponisble for people on here congratulating you on your first gay experiance under such circumstances. I'm sure if we substituted his profession from teacher to priest, but left the age disparity the same (17 vs at least 23) the attitudes would have been different. Regardless, the classroom is for learning, not for fcuking. Regardless of orientation, his behaviour is inappropiate and unprofessional.

Dwn Wth Vwls

You may have enjoyed it, but what about the next person he tries it on with? If you let him get away with it, who knows where it will end or how out of control it will get. You're in the best position to put a stop to this guy, because he hasn't used his authority over you. The next kid might not be so lucky, so do them a favour and report him.

T Corolla

Dwn Wth Vwls wrote: »

You may have enjoyed it, but what about the next person he tries it on with? If you let him get away with it, who knows where it will end or how out of control it will get. You're in the best position to put a stop to this guy, because he hasn't used his authority over you. The next kid might not be so lucky, so do them a favour and report him.

Very good point. This boy needs to let his parents know what has happened or the next boy this school teacher takes may not be as open to such advances

gmale

School is back a week and he is groping students, clearly he has no self control

LegacyUser

Ig I'm being honest I really enjoyed it and would like it to happen again. I felt that he cared about me and loved me. Ifelt bad after words. I don't know does that make scence?

nelly1912

if you really like him and he likes you then you need to leave it for the time being. at the moment it is an inappropriate relationship, he is your teacher, and if you continue he may lose his job, and im sure you dont want that. he should not be making moves on a young student. and he shoud understand that. but once you have left and turned 18 then you will be an independant consenting adult and you will be better able to make a choice. and the two of yuou can have a chat and if you still like each other then away you go. enjoy your last year in school concentrate on your studies, then you will be free.

LGiamani

volcanic wrote: »

Ig I'm being honest I really enjoyed it and would like it to happen again. I felt that he cared about me and loved me. Ifelt bad after words. I don't know does that make scence?

I understand you reason. You feel like you have made a connection with someone and the feeling of acceptance and being with someone who understand you is overwhelming. The first thing this man should of done was to build up a relationship with you in a non sexual fashion. He more than likely regognised what he went through and wanted to connect with you. As a teacher his actions were inappropriate and can be seen in others eye as an abuse of power. He himself may also been in a suitation where he is isolated from people because of his sexuality and needs to connect with others. He should be intellgent enough to know what way he should go about a relationship with a minor should be conducted.

Annasopra

volcanic wrote: »

Ig I'm being honest I really enjoyed it and would like it to happen again. I felt that he cared about me and loved me. Ifelt bad after words. I don't know does that make scence?

Yes it kind of does make sense but can you also see why most of us here think it was inappropriate and morally wrong?

Aard

If both of you want something to come of it, then decide to leave it until you're out of school. If not, then just forget about it.

LegacyUser

Johnnymcg wrote: »

most of us here think it was inappropriate and morally wrong?

Is it not a breach of Trust that was also attract a Jail Term if the Teacher was found out. It's sickening to think that this kind of thing is still going on in Schools after all the scandal we've had with the priests, that teacher is well over the line even if op thinks it's ok.

azezil

Azure_sky wrote: »

niiiiiice

Funny episode about Ike having an affair with his teacher, but in reality it's grossly inappropriate and he should be fired for taking advantage of his position of authority over you.

ongarboy

Hi OP, I agree with what a lot of other posters said here - this teacher is in a position of power and influence and should not be taking advantage of a student. This is not a moral or adult/minor issue. Teacher/student relationships are always off limits due to the conflict of interest it presents. This would be an issue even if the student was of adult age. Engaging in activity like this could lead to unfair advantage/disadvantage. (We've all heard of the A for a lay -well that does go on!). Secondly, what if you had rejected his initial advance or brushed him off in the future after a few more encounters? He may get angry and could subtly punish you by giving you lower grades in tests/papers or deny you learning opportunities. You are creating a dangerous situation for yourself dealing this way with an adult who does not have the ability and discipline to distance himself from or prevent such situations. I know you don't want to cause trouble but I strongly feel you need to raise this with your parents or another responsible adult as who's to say he isn't trying it on with other students. Some of those students may not be as well adjusted or mature as you and may find the situation very traumatic. Furthermore, reciprocating a teacher's advances only encourages him to continue doing it. Good luck

Rick_

Perhaps the OP could explain how the two of you came to be alone after school? Did he request you stay behind or did you stay behind to talk about a class related reason and then this happened. Did he talk to you first about anything gay related before trying to kiss you or did he just grab you and force his lips on yours?

Not to defend the teachers actions in any way, what he did was wrong, but let's be completely fair here. Just because he made a pass at a student, and it was reciprocated, doesn't make him some evil, peadophilic, sexual deviant who planned this for months and preys on children and turns nasty when provoked.

For all we know he is a nice guy who had a momentary lapse of judgement because he actually felt for the lad, I mean come on, we've all made mistakes. He could also just be a lonely/shy man who saw an outwardly camp student and thought that there was a chance he was gay and he might be an outlet for his feelings and he felt he could talk to the lad and see how things went between them, so he made some little hints and suggestions and one day it all came to a head and they embraced. I agree, they shouldn't have done anything, but in the heat of the moment stupid things are done and for all we know the teacher is regretting that this happened at all.

This man should be given the help he needs if he doesn't know/understand it's wrong to involve students in any sort of sexual activity or he should be given the boot and prosecuted if he thinks it's acceptable and has tried it before or appears to be trying it again with others. Let's get a better understanding of the situation before we start tarring him with our big judgemental brush.

Let me state once again, that I am in no way condoning the actions of the teacher in this situation, I'm merely just saying that we should step back and assess the situation before going in guns blazing with a mob mentality of him being wrong without question and have all the facts before we start judging him.

I await the all out war that will no doubt follow this post.

spurious

That's unbelievably unprofessional of the teacher. No union or professional body would defend what he did.

LegacyUser

It was after school. I was about leave the room and asked me to elp him pck up some paper on the ground and then he closed the door and made his move on me. I have him for Geography. He also teaches P.E. I really find him attractive. He is actually really hot and if he tried it on with me again. I wouldn't mind. If I'm being honest the worst thing that could happen to him is he could lose his job if it got out. I always got extra attetion off him anyway. Somebody even said it to me one day. Mr x acts differently around! You!
Do ye get me?

akaspike

Volcanic - before the years out something will erupt.
To be a 17/18 year and in that situation is not good for either one of you.
You mention that your out and mates have noticed that he acts differently around you, this word will spread fast inside the next 9 months.
Your at an age where you think that you know how life works, but wait till your 21 and look back on this situation things will seem alot different.
The last thing you want to throw away is your education.
Be smart about this. I’m not sure about your knowledge of this teacher, but it dosnt seem like either one of yous experienced this for the first time. (for you i mean in terms of first gay experience). We don't know you. We cant judge your character, but all i can say is being gay isn't about taking whatever your given. You have to make choices in life and these choices may effect the rest of your life. I say enjoy what you got and remember the good time, but move on and try and finish your year without incidents.
Temptation is Temptation and time will tell if it was supposed to be. But reality normally kicks in and says it’s just a fling. Watch your steps, and lust. Dont set yourself up for a fall.

stephen_n

upset boardie wrote: »

Is it not a breach of Trust that was also attract a Jail Term if the Teacher was found out. It's sickening to think that this kind of thing is still going on in Schools after all the scandal we've had with the priests, that teacher is well over the line even if op thinks it's ok.

Would you be saying that if it was a female teacher? This is inappropriate but to try and compare it to the abuse scandals this country has seen is way off beam! Teachers being with pupils is never going to be a good idea but if this was a 23 year old female teacher and a 17 year old boy there would be no mention of prison infact it would be a consensual adult relationship!!

OP there is far too much going on here for the teacher and yourself, forbidden fruit, first encounters etc as most people have said stay away for now and if there are any real feelings you can act on them after you leave school!

spurious

stephen_n wrote: »

if this was a 23 year old female teacher and a 17 year old boy there would be no mention of prison infact it would be a consensual adult relationship!!

It would still be unprofessional of the teacher if they had originally met in the unequal relationship of teacher-pupil.

Annasopra

stephen_n wrote: »

Would you be saying that if it was a female teacher? This is inappropriate but to try and compare it to the abuse scandals this country has seen is way off beam! Teachers being with pupils is never going to be a good idea but if this was a 23 year old female teacher and a 17 year old boy there would be no mention of prison infact it would be a consensual adult relationship!!

No, I think most (not all) of what has been said in this thread could apply and apply even if it was a woman

mikemac

stephen_n wrote: »

Would you be saying that if it was a female teacher? This is inappropriate but to try and compare it to the abuse scandals this country has seen is way off beam! Teachers being with pupils is never going to be a good idea but if this was a 23 year old female teacher and a 17 year old boy there would be no mention of prison infact it would be a consensual adult relationship!!

Can't speak for other posters but it's still inappropriate and that lady could well be sacked from her job over it

stephen_n

Yes but to say that he should go to prison and comparing it to the widespread abuse that occurred in this country is wrong! It's inappropriate and stupid but personally I think those reactions are over the top! I know of one teacher in her 40's in my school who slept with multiple 6th years and there was no sanction taken even though the school must have known! It is stupid and wrong but the hang em high attitude is also wrong! This teacher is 23 and gave into an urge with a 17 year old and yet some people on here have all ready made the jump to him being a serial pedophile!

Mistake on 2 peoples part that shouldn't be repeated, no need for moral judgements IMO

hotmail.com

Sounds like a scene from a porn movie, the teacher asked me to stay back to pick up papers?? Is the OP having a laugh?

This doesn't sound plausible.

Is the poster looking for advice on how to advance the relationship, tips on where to go or is he asking for advice on whether to rat him out?

Rick_

I asked this but wasn't given a full response.

How did the OP end up in the classroom alone with the teacher after everyone else had gone home from school.

Did the OP stay back to ask for help on something or did the teacher ask you to stay behind, and if so for what reason?

What did they do until the point where he went to leave and the teacher made his move?

Sir Ophiuchus

There are three points I'd like to make.

1) Prison is not an issue here. Seventeen is above the age of consent. Professionalism and appropriateness are the issue, with a side order of concern for the OP's well-being. Making paedophilia inferences is very wrong in multiple ways - let's not do that.

2) Let's presume honesty in the OP, as otherwise the thread's a tad pointless.

3) Paddy C does in fact make sense in his saying we should approach a situation on its individual merits, not broadly. Which isn't to defend the teacher.

CSaber

Paddy C wrote: »

I asked this but wasn't given a full response.

How did the OP end up in the classroom alone with the teacher after everyone else had gone home from school.

Did the OP stay back to ask for help on something or did the teacher ask you to stay behind, and if so for what reason?

What did they do until the point where he went to leave and the teacher made his move?

volcanic wrote: »

It was after school. I was about leave the room and asked me to elp him pck up some paper on the ground and then he closed the door and made his move on me. I have him for Geography. He also teaches P.E. I really find him attractive. He is actually really hot and if he tried it on with me again. I wouldn't mind. If I'm being honest the worst thing that could happen to him is he could lose his job if it got out. I always got extra attetion off him anyway. Somebody even said it to me one day. Mr x acts differently around! You!
Do ye get me?

This is what OP said happened.

Rick_

CSaber, I read the OP's post at the time he made it, and like I said, he did not answer the question clearly, hence why I asked again.

"It was after school. I was about the leave the room..."

So does this mean he was the last pupil to leave the classroom and intended to leave at the same time as everyone else and just happened to be called back and the teacher then made his move at the door then and there with people outside and anyone could have walked in or saw through the window? (Very risky I'd have thought).

Or did it mean he stayed behind after everyone else had gone, and if so, why? Was he asked to by the teacher or did the OP decide to stay behind himself, and again, if it was down to the OP, then why?

LegacyUser

I think it's unfair that some of you are jumping to the conclusion that this man is some sort of pervert. I don't think that's fair. He came on to a 17 year old and he's 23.. I mean, worse things have happened and the boy is technically legal. I know it's not exactly appropriate in terms of their relationship but if that boy was in college and he was his tutor it wouldn't be that big of a deal, really. And I know of 17 year olds hooking up with 22 year old tutors around college and no one really cared just the usual "ya can't even bring em for a drink!".

My advice to the student is to just try to be friends with the teacher and tell him that he's a good looking guy but that he doesn't think it's appropriate for the setting they're in. That said, if he does get more intense then it's obvious he is a bit crazy THEN I'd report him.

I'd love to be the student in this situation, to be honest! Very exciting! lol

LegacyUser

Thanks!
I don't think he is abusing me because I like it.
What happened was people were leaving the room and I was the last one to leave and he was like ******* stay behind and help me tidy up and I was like ok. I went off and started to do it. He locked the door and that when he came onto me. Something else happened today tough. I was going to the toilet and he was walking somewhere else in the school. I bumped into him anyway and He asked me did I want to go with him and I said yes. We went into the libary and same thing again. He just kissed me and he put his hand down my pants and I did the same to him. It was actually an amazing eperience and I loved it.
I don't think he is doing this with anybody else just me.

Sir Ophiuchus

hmmasd wrote: »

I know it's not exactly appropriate in terms of their relationship but if that boy was in college and he was his tutor it wouldn't be that big of a deal, really. And I know of 17 year olds hooking up with 22 year old tutors around college and no one really cared just the usual "ya can't even bring em for a drink!".

Seriously? A college student dating a postgrad who's a tutor but not *their* tutor - fine. Someone dating their own tutor (who marks essays and gives grades)? At the minimum, the tutor would lose their position.

OP, I'm not sure how productive this thread is by now. Again, I'm glad you're not upset or hurt, but I think he's taking advantage of his position and taking advantage of you. I don't think this can end well.

DubArk

OP, I really don’t know what this thread is all about! Why are you telling us if you are consenting to this? What is it you want us to discuss?

I really don’t get this…. If you were distressed I could understand that our advice could be of some help to you.

Really the whole story is coming across as some sort of preppy teenage fantasy!

ongarboy

here, here! Agree with the last 2 posters. Based on the way this thread is progressing, I'm also wondering what is the point of it?? We could all clog up boards.ie with "Guess what happened to us last Saturday night" stories but they would be of interest to no-one but ourselves or possibly those who actually know us. I did also start to wonder if this is some sort of schoolboy fantasy rather than an actual event but I'll assume OP is telling it as it actually happened. Whether he is actually looking for advice, I'm also not clear about that!

Annasopra

I have been wondering myself if this is real or not - I'll give the OP the benefit of the doubt

LegacyUser

I posted here because I was kind of lookinf for advice. When I was with him I loved it and enjoyed it but after it I felt dirt and sick. I liked being with him but I felt bad after words.

LGiamani

volcanic wrote: »

I posted here because I was kind of lookinf for advice. When I was with him I loved it and enjoyed it but after it I felt dirt and sick. I liked being with him but I felt bad after words.

He used you. You were the bearly ripe fruit that was juicy on the outside. As I stated in an earlier thread if he cared for you he would have found out who you really were and as a ethical human being would have known to keep the relationship as pupil teacher. I feel you should take a lesson from this event and move on. The next guy who looks your way make sure he can meet your expectation emotionally mentally as well as physically. He made a big mistake and probably will continue to make such mistakes. The best thing you can do is tell someone what happened. On the short term hug someone you trust and forget about the ill feelings you had and smile people will remember your smile.

Annasopra

volcanic wrote: »

I posted here because I was kind of lookinf for advice. When I was with him I loved it and enjoyed it but after it I felt dirt and sick. I liked being with him but I felt bad after words.

okay and you have gotten advice - I don't think there's much more that we can do

drunkmonkey

stephen_n wrote: »

Would you be saying that if it was a female teacher?

volcanic wrote: »

after it I felt dirt and sick

Would he be saying that if it was a female teacher who made a move on him?

keepkeyyellow

Right so.

Stop this now. Take it from someone who's dated someone ten years their age at 16/17. It's great now ya scoring with an older guy. But he is obviously taking advantage of you. Especially since it's your first time. My first time was what I thought was a real relationship when really I was a quick shift and this is what the teacher is doing to you.

Having that said we can give you all the advice you wan't but at the end of the you have to make your own mistakes to learn.

LegacyUser

OP, assuming this is all true... You're in the bubble of school. You don't even realise how far from being an adult you are. I can't even begin to explain the difference that the few years between 17 and 23 makes (I'm 22, fyi). He's an adult, you only feel like one. (Which I'm sure you think is untrue right now but review those thoughts in 6 years :P)

You enjoyed it, that's completely amazing for you. However, someone IS going to find out. It WILL spread like wildfire through the school and you do not need to be dealing with that when you're working for your leaving cert.

Everything else aside, you need him to be your teacher. You need him to teach you the syllabus and not find yourself in a situation where you've had a spat with him and you start getting marked down. Now, I don't know the guy but if he's willing to make a move on a student then it follows that he'd be willing to mark a student down over a personal quarrel with that student.


That is, assuming this is all true. I find it VERY hard to believe.