Don't know where my life is going.

LegacyUser

I'm a 20year old female. I've known i've wanted to study photography from a young age, and i model quite a bit aswel.
I'm not a very academic person and was never terribly good in school, but i wasn't the worst either, but in the LC i got 280 points, i failed maths and never did Irish because I havn't always lived here. so basicly i only passed 5 out my 6 subjects.
Since i couldnt get into college immediately i did a plc course in photography. I ended up getting 600/600 points for my portfolio and i was delighted with myself and sure i was going to get into my college of choice.
the plc course never told us we needed 3 distinctions as a minimum requirement (i know i should have checked myself but you think they would have told us...) but i got one and everything else was merits, before i knew we had to have 3 distinctions i was very proud of myself, i thought i did quite well.
when the cao choices came out i got none.
i was devastated. so i rang the college and asked what the story was, and he said it was because i didn't get 3 distinctions and because you need a minimum of a pass in 6 subjects in the LC, i wasn't expecting that at all and now i'm totaly lost at what to do.

if i do another plc it will be the same as what i just did and if i eventually get into college next year that means i would be doing 1st year for the 3rd time.
I don't think i'd be able to repeat the leaving cert because i've forgotten nearly everything i've learnt.
I could work but in the end of the day if i want to get into college i need to do something to get in.

I was looking forward to a relaxing holiday to NYC with my boyfriend of 3 years to take my mind off things because i had to decide what i wanted to do with my life when the BF told me he wasnt in love with me anymore.
that really hurt because it was out of the blue for me, im still so in love with him.
it hurt also because he had an addiction problem and for 2 and a half years i was there for him trying to help him get out of it. hes now about 5 months sober.

so the two things in my life i thought i was sure of (college and the BF) have now gone down the drain within a week of each other.

I don't like living in this country i find it very depressing and cold, and i have hardly any friends (i fell out with alot of them at the start of the summer because they treated me horribly) so i was really looking forward to going to college to make new ones which i can't do now.

i don't really know how to make new friends at this point, i suffer from anxiety alot worse these days, i have no motivation to get up in the mornings because i don't know what to do.

I'm sorry if this post is very long i just feel like i need a bit of help, i feel really depressed about my life right now and don't know what to do...

Mr. Loverman

OK, so if I understand correctly there are 4 issues here:

1. College hasn't worked out the way you hoped it would
2. You have broken up with your boyfriend
3. You don't really have many friends so you're a bit lonely
4. You are feeling depressed

I will try to tackle each issue individually.

1. College will work itself out. For example, you can go back as a mature student in a few years. In the meantime keep practicing the photography (you don't need college to become a good photographer) and stick with it, and it'll eventually come together. Personally I would offer to work for a magazine *for free* as a photographer. This foot in the door will make your career.

2. I'm sorry to hear about your break up, but try to remind yourself you will be over him in a few months, and he will no longer seem like the great guy you think he is now! Time will sort out this one, guaranteed!

3. The only way to meet people is to force yourself to be around people! So join a photography class or group, take up a language, take up a sport, join a human rights organisation, etc. You will make friends if you are around people. This is also guaranteed.

4. I think you are justified to feel a bit depressed. Just try to force yourself to be around people, and to stay busy, and it will begin to go away.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

OK, so if I understand correctly there are 4 issues here:

1. College hasn't worked out the way you hoped it would
2. You have broken up with your boyfriend
3. You don't really have many friends so you're a bit lonely
4. You are feeling depressed

I will try to tackle each issue individually.

1. College will work itself out. For example, you can go back as a mature student in a few years. In the meantime keep practicing the photography (you don't need college to become a good photographer) and stick with it, and it'll eventually come together. Personally I would offer to work for a magazine *for free* as a photographer. This foot in the door will make your career.

2. I'm sorry to hear about your break up, but try to remind yourself you will be over him in a few months, and he will no longer seem like the great guy you think he is now! Time will sort out this one, guaranteed!

3. The only way to meet people is to force yourself to be around people! So join a photography class or group, take up a language, take up a sport, join a human rights organisation, etc. You will make friends if you are around people. This is also guaranteed.

4. I think you are justified to feel a bit depressed. Just try to force yourself to be around people, and to stay busy, and it will begin to go away.

Best of luck.

thanks for the reply, i really appreciate it.
ive been thinking so negatively but i know i won't feel like this forever.
I'm thinking of moving somewhere out of ireland for a few weeks to see where life takes me, and i will meet new people, start a new life, since im so unhappy with this one.

thanks again.