Saying 'I LOVE YOU'

Jola1981

I’m going out with this guy for last 14 months. He is just perfect, really showing me how much he cares. The only problem is he never said to me ‘I love you’. I never said to him this too, as I don’t want to be first to do this. That’s question as well..is it ok for a girl to said I love you first? That would just break my heart if he wouldn’t say anything back. I know I’m his first serious girlfriend and I think he never said this to anyone before. So question for a guys, is it important for a you to say to girlfriend that they love her? How would you react if she would say this first? Would you still be with a girl for over a year if you not sure that you love her?

coolcat63

If you love him, say it! It's not a competition, it's not a gender 'issue', it's not a marriage proposal. Don't say it just because you want to hear it back - say it because you mean it. If you are nervous about it being deep and meaningful then drop it into a lighthearted conversation.

Good luck.

shinikins

I agree with coolcat, say it! After 14 months you wouldn't still be together if you didn't love each other. Sometimes we tend to overanalyse and make things bigger than they really are in our own heads. Men can be notoriously slow when it comes to talking about their fellings, so it may not have even occured to him to say it out loud. Just tell him, and all that pressure that you've been holding back will be gone! You have nothing to worry about:)

ApeXaviour

While I agree it's not a competition, saying it yourself will effectively put him under pressure to say it back, immediately. If he doesn't it will become the white elephant (archetypal sitcom situation) in the room whenever you're together.

As a member of the female gender you should be well equipped with hinting/gauging/subtlety skill-set; use it. Even something as blunt as "what do you think of the word 'love'?" can be detached enough that he can pretend he doesn't know what you're actually talking about and approach it objectively. People can have weird ideas e.g. he might not want to say it until he's engaged, or maybe he's said it before prematurely and regretted it... eitherway you're likely to get an idea if you approach it in a non-challenging, logical and detached way.

Beruthiel

Jola1981 wrote: »

I’m going out with this guy for last 14 months. He is just perfect, really showing me how much he cares. The only problem is he never said to me ‘I love you’.

He may not say it, but actions speak louder than words in my book and from what you say about him, he's showing you all the time that he loves you.

If you feel like verbally telling him, go ahead.

seamus

Jola1981 wrote: »

Would you still be with a girl for over a year if you not sure that you love her?

No, most people wouldn't stick with someone for more than a year if they didn't love them, especially not when you're young anyway.

As others have said, it's not a competition. He might be terrified that if he says it, you'll bolt. Us men can also have odd ideas about commitment - sometimes we think that saying, "I love you" is on a par with getting married and once it's said then you're stuck in the relationship even if the love dies.

Just say it to him.

redhed35

just say it if you mean it.

however you want,wether its do you fancy a pizza and by the way i love you,or what are you up too friday by the way i love you.

or just saying goodbye,kiss,and i love you.

dont expect him to say it back,it does not mean he does not love you only the words may seem odd to him.

have to say actions do speak louder then words,but i still want to hear the words.

you dont say what age you both are,but i just wondered if its been an on/off relationship or seriously dating for over a year.