I need to get this off my chest

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm not sure what I aim to achieve here with this thread, but I need to go unregistered because if I post under my account some of the lads at work might cop it.

So my mother and father have been having issues for years. My Dad's an alcoholic and spends all his time in the pub. Just your typical alco really - everyone he drinks with in there are divorced or seperated and he would rather spend his time with them than his family.

My mother finally saw sense and kicked him out, and it's been really hard on her obviously. I've been spending lots of time with her lately trying to cheer her up, etc and of course it's been a strain on me but I try to get through it too.

My drugs use over the last few months (since this happened) has sky rocketed. I used to smoke grass every now and again but I started taking lots of Class A's. Coke and pills mostly, and some 2cb as well. I befriended people who were into it, most of whom don't have a job (I have an amazing job, great money and amazingly stressful etc but I love it) probably just to feel a bit validated I imagine.

I've stopped the partying now, and most of the party heads I was with have as well. I'm keeping myself motivated with running and going to the gym, etc.

I can see that the partying was just me getting it out of my system and probably a cry for help but more escapism really and I'm well aware that I have to face life and stop being so cowardly and running from what is going on.

I also really need to be there for my mother. If anything happened me, God forbid, she would be destroyed. I have a responsiblity for her as well as for the rest of my family/friends to cop myself on.

I've only talked about this with one of my friends and he has been so supportive - his parents broke up when he was a child so he was able to offer advice. It was such a relief having someone to talk to.

My mother is going away on holidays with 2 of her friends this weekend for 2 weeks and I'm so happy she is getting away. I really hope she enjoys herself.

Anyway I just needed to get this off my chest and I welcome any advice you guys/girls have for me. I don't want to go back taking drugs and going on 3 or 4 day benders any more. This thread will be a stern reminder of that and I'll look at it any day I'm feeling down or feeling an urge to go a bit mad again.

Thanks.

Blackdrag

I know where you coming from, although when parents split up due to a cheating mother, i had to spend allot of time with my dad and sister trying to keep the moral up.

Unfortunately after a few years and learning more of my parents darker secrets i realised it had done me in as well, drinking, lower class drugs and the complete inability to let people in and help and a near nonexistent ability to show any form of emotion.

However you have realised the same as i that your having a problem and that the most important thing. Go see someone who’s qualified. They do help in a strange way.

By the sounds of it you need to take more time out for yourself. Stay away from the people that use they will only tempt you more. Go away somewhere with some old friends and enjoy the simpler things in life. For example myself and 2 others retreat to the welsh mountains for a few days camping.

Well done for not losing your way completely and realising how much you do have, and good luck with the future