How important is being attractive to men to you?

Freiheit

An article in yesterdays Irish Independent Magazine was entitled "working the hooker look" which basicaly implied that young women feel tremendously pressurised to look attractive to the opposite sex and that most simply accept this. Say's that it can cause depression and affect's girls self esteem. I think it's right for people to look as well as they can, but ideally it should be for yourself, not for others. Is this article right do you think? I stress it was referring reallly to adolescents and early 20's. Used Myley Cyrus as an example of the 'hooker look'.

Sack

Women dress to impress other women. Nearly a cliché at this stage.

LegacyUser

The hooker look? Well maybe if you want to be treated like a hooker you will dress like one, but in general men do not find hookers truly attractive...just easy. I'm not sure why more young ladies don't understand this.

beks101

I haven't read that article but I can imagine what they're talking about...the heavy makeup, uber-orange fake tan, dyed blonde hair and extensions...

It's only recently since I've moved abroad that I've realised how much of an Irish phenomenon this is, particularly among late teens / early twenties. I now live in a city where you'd actually be mistaken for a prostitute if you stepped outside the door dressed that way, day or night.

As regards the subject title, I think the vast majority of straight women find it important to be attractive to the opposite sex and judge / compete with other women on their attractiveness to the opposite sex - far more than men would. It's just the world we live in and as any woman will know, it's an invaluable power to yield.

A certain amount of it is healthy IMO, taking pride and confidence in your sexuality, but when it becomes something that you rely on to boost your self esteem or validate yourself as a person, that's when you're in trouble. Ultimately looks fade and mens' attention will wane, so if you haven't a solid foundation of confidence in who you are as opposed to how you look and how others perceive you, you're pretty much screwed when nature takes its course.

Dudess

Yet in its Sunday edition, the Independent devotes several articles to women sporting this so-called "hooker look"...

Freiheit

For some reason can't find it in the on-line edition, was under the heading 'life' and by Aida Austin, in the 'Weekend' magazine. Was just the writing of one author, the newspapers itself isn't a paragon of virtue, but nonetheless an interesting article. I can imagine that pressure to reach a certain standard of appearance, if one did feel pressure and one's self esteem was linked to it, could cause depression and anxiety.

I think the dyed blonde and tanned look can be good....but self esteem shoudln't depend on it...Is it really just an Irish phenomenon?

Well it's nice to be attractive but not something that overly bothers me.

panda100

Freiheit wrote: »

An article in yesterdays Irish Independent Magazine was entitled "working the hooker look" which basicaly implied that young women feel tremendously pressurised to look attractive to the opposite sex and that most simply accept this. Say's that it can cause depression and affect's girls self esteem. I think it's right for people to look as well as they can, but ideally it should be for yourself, not for others. Is this article right do you think? I stress it was referring reallly to adolescents and early 20's. Used Myley Cyrus as an example of the 'hooker look'.

Indo really doesnt help young women and their self esteem. Their Sunday porno mag is page after page of heralding the 'D4 look', which is just basically plastering yourself in makeup. I think what the Indo believes to be sexy and attractive is so far removed from what actually is sexy and attractive. Sure its all owned and edited by pervy men like Brendan O'Connor.

Beauty industry in Ireland is massive,it probably brings in a lot more money to the economy than the construction industry ever did!I definatly do feel the pressure from modern Irish culture to look a certain way. It lessens as you get older and you feel more confident in how you look though

greengiant09

beks101 wrote: »

I haven't read that article but I can imagine what they're talking about...the heavy makeup, uber-orange fake tan, dyed blonde hair and extensions...

It's only recently since I've moved abroad that I've realised how much of an Irish phenomenon this is, particularly among late teens / early twenties. I now live in a city where you'd actually be mistaken for a prostitute if you stepped outside the door dressed that way, day or night.

As regards the subject title, I think the vast majority of straight women find it important to be attractive to the opposite sex and judge / compete with other women on their attractiveness to the opposite sex - far more than men would. It's just the world we live in and as any woman will know, it's an invaluable power to yield.

A certain amount of it is healthy IMO, taking pride and confidence in your sexuality, but when it becomes something that you rely on to boost your self esteem or validate yourself as a person, that's when you're in trouble. Ultimately looks fade and mens' attention will wane, so if you haven't a solid foundation of confidence in who you are as opposed to how you look and how others perceive you, you're pretty much screwed when nature takes its course.

completely agree with above.....a few female friends from spain and poland visited me in dublin and said they couldn't get over how thrashy some irish women dress. i don't think it's just an irish thing....it definitely goes on in the UK as well.

Dudess

There seems to be a view held though that girls who dress in tight, skimpy clothing and uber high heels etc don't really want to but will do so anyway for men, which is nonsense. How is it so hard to believe that some of them simply want to? It may appear trashy to many, but the girls themselves might be delighted with how they look, and more power to them. It wouldn't have been the look for me when I was younger, and at times I personally find it OTT (doesn't bother me though) but often those girls can look great - and very pretty.
If a girl was wearing corsets and dominatrix gear, she might be ridiculed but she wouldn't be considered a "hooker" rather a sexually empowered woman, yet that look is also sexually provocative - possibly moreso (not criticising it - I like that look).

The Indo/SIndo though - what trash. Lol at how their "princess" Rosanna Davison works exactly the look they're sneering at. Very nasty rags. It seems it would be acceptable to them for a woman to dress to attract the opposite sex once she's from the right social set/wearing the right clothes (to them)... then it's no problem, and poor self esteem, pressure and depression aren't concerns.

Hilarious too the way they're saying so many girls feel pressure to be attractive to the opposite sex, as if this is a new phenomenon. Hardly helps then when they've a near-naked babe on the opposite page advertising perfume or whatever. I personally don't see dressing to impress the opposite sex as problematic whatsoever - it's surely the norm? Maybe it gets out of control for some, but it's just everyday, run-of-the-mill stuff.

johanz

It depends on what kind of men you want to attract. All the machos that have brain the size of a bean will be attracted to overdone makeup and slutty looks. Actually smart guys like more casual looking ladies. Makeup is good, just don't overdo it, otherwise it makes you look like you want the thing in men's pants, not the actual man.

beks101

Dudess wrote: »

There seems to be a view held though that girls who dress in tight, skimpy clothing and uber high heels etc don't really want to but will do so anyway for men, which is nonsense. How is it so hard to believe that some of them simply want to? It may appear trashy to many, but the girls themselves might be delighted with how they look, and more power to them.

Of course many, probably most, if not all girls who dress this way are doing it out of personal choice. But being a woman, I know what sort of reaction and attention this illicits from men, and I'd surmise that for a lot of women, this reaction is a huge part of the reason why they like dressing this way.

Especially when you are young and becoming aware of how powerful an asset your sexuality is - it can be pretty hard to resist. It's obviously basic human nature to want to attract the opposite (or same) sex, but take your average night out in Dublin - depends where you end up, but on average you are going to see a hell of a lot of what would be considered "hookerish' looking women, in most other European countries. The heavy, heavy makeup, barely-there skirts or dresses, deep fake tan, etc. For whatever reason, it seems to have taken hold in Ireland and the UK far more than many, many other countries.

IrishEyes19

As a girl, for a night out I dress up for me, if I feel happy with what Im wearing it doesn't effect me what guys think or girls for that matter. Obviously it's nice to think a guy find you attractive, I mean deep down thats what we all strive for, to look attractive in whatever we wear.

Personally Ive never dressed up to intimidate other girls to be honest. ever even had that thought.

As for the "hooker" look, meh, I cringe when I see seriously orange girls in the way too high heels wearing belts for a skirt and tops that are seriously low, walking down the street because whether or not guys find that attractive isn't important, we all know what they're really thinking and believe that girl will give them, and truthfully Im relieved I'm not that girl who guys think that off at the end of the night, regardless of whether I met someone nice that evening or not.

Black Swan

Blue looks in mirror and does makeup... hummms old Elvis song:

"You look like an angel
Walk like an angel
Talk like an angel
But I got wise

You're the devil in disguise
Oh yes you are
The devil in disguise"

shinikins

I tend to make an effort to look nice for myself, and take a bit of self respect and pride in my appearance. I'm not one to plaster myself in makeup, and i don't go out of my way to be groomed 24/7, but i like to be presentable.

As for the oompa loompa/barbie slapper look that is so popular now, i think a lot of it is down to low self esteem. So many girls seem to think that they won't get a boyfriend if they don't dress a certain way, or wear shovel loads of fake tan and makeup. The sad reality is that most men look at these poor craturs, and think "easy lay"..... even sadder is the fact that most of them are exactly that!

IrishEyes19

shinikins wrote: »

I tend to make an effort to look nice for myself, and take a bit of self respect and pride in my appearance. I'm not one to plaster myself in makeup, and i don't go out of my way to be groomed 24/7, but i like to be presentable.

As for the oompa loompa/barbie slapper look that is so popular now, i think a lot of it is down to low self esteem. So many girls seem to think that they won't get a boyfriend if they don't dress a certain way, or wear shovel loads of fake tan and makeup. The sad reality is that most men look at these poor craturs, and think "easy lay"..... even sadder is the fact that most of them are exactly that!

I agree with you, Shinikins, but I disagree with your point that a lot of "Oompa Loompa" slapper look types have low self of esteem, as in there's a hell of a lot of girls who dress with that who need a downsize in their egos.....I often find a lot of them too have boyfriends and sometimes quieter girls who dress a little bit more reserved aren't given the chance.

And I'm not a shy quiet girl by the way, just in case other posters think Im here tooting my horn about how shy girls dont have a chance, lol, I've just noticed a lot of girls who wear the hooker style look, fake tan and mini skirt belts and all, are the ones who on a nightout, shove you to the curb as your walking somewhere and would jump you if you demanded an apology.

LittleBook

The article:

Working The Hooker Look

That is NOT the photo they ran with the print article by the way.

Des Carter

So Im a guy and I see this look so often when I go out that its not even funny I guess its to do with the current fashion or pictures in the media or something but you have to wonder why it affects girls so much more than lads. I mean when a guy goes out he just throws on a shirt and jeans and possible a jacket and hes done while girls spend hours putting on too much make-up, squeezing into a ridiculous dress that 5 sizes to small and putting on outragously high heels that they cant even walk in.

As for the look I think its to do with guys wanting to sleep with slappers and marry respectable women similiar to another thread on here stating that women want to date the "bad boy" and marry the decent guy.

However personally I would be far more attracted to a girl who wore a pair of jeans, casual top and comfortable shoes on a night out even if I didnt have the guts to talk to her.

IrishEyes19

Des Carter wrote: »

So Im a guy and I see this look so often when I go out that its not even funny I guess its to do with the current fashion or pictures in the media or something but you have to wonder why it affects girls so much more than lads. I mean when a guy goes out he just throws on a shirt and jeans and possible a jacket and hes done while girls spend hours putting on too much make-up, squeezing into a ridiculous dress that 5 sizes to small and putting on outragously high heels that they cant even walk in.

As for the look I think its to do with guys wanting to sleep with slappers and marry respectable women similiar to another thread on here stating that women want to date the "bad boy" and marry the decent guy.

However personally I would be far more attracted to a girl who wore a pair of jeans, casual top and comfortable shoes on a night out even if I didnt have the guts to talk to her.

I agree with you somewhat, but having said that I've rarely seen a guy on a night out approach the causally dressed girl, more often seen them circling the very "dressed up" girls tbh!!

RedXIV

Des Carter wrote: »

However personally I would be far more attracted to a girl who wore a pair of jeans, casual top and comfortable shoes on a night out even if I didnt have the guts to talk to her.

Gonna have to agree with the girls on this. like it or not, girls who are dressed up in shortskirts and high heels are going to get more attention than girls dressed in a more casual manner.

It's great that you are happy with such a laid back view, it really is. But personally, I love when my OH dresses up. Probably coz its a little bit rarer now and she would wear heels and a nice dress (coz she has amazing legs ) and it blows me away. I'm glad she only does it for going out as it would be a fearful distraction in the house

Remember, men are visual creatures!

CK2010

RedXIV wrote: »

Gonna have to agree with the girls on this. like it or not, girls who are dressed up in shortskirts and high heels are going to get more attention than girls dressed in a more casual manner.

It's great that you are happy with such a laid back view, it really is. But personally, I love when my OH dresses up. Probably coz its a little bit rarer now and she would wear heels and a nice dress (coz she has amazing legs ) and it blows me away. I'm glad she only does it for going out as it would be a fearful distraction in the house

Remember, men are visual creatures!

you see i think theres a difference between your OH dressing up and wearing a nice dress and heels for an occassion together and looking amazing when you go out- fair enough of course you're going to like this, a shorter dress than usual and maybe a low cut on top, make up done well and hair done to perfection, whats not to like.

however on a night out in clubs and pubs you see women wearing a too-tight short skirt that they keep needing to pull down (which tbh still doesnt cover much!), heels that they wobble and hunch around in because they cant walk in them even when sober, tops that reveal waaaaay too much, orange fake tan everywhere- including their clothes, and their face plastered in make up they dont need, and i think this is the image most people have of girls in ireland dressing up for a night out on the pull- which is nothing like your OH dressing up for a night out! (perhaps it is but im just guessing its not, maybe you do find that look attractive!). my point is many irish girls take it too far, or dont wear what suits them, wear heels when they cant walk in them etc, so it doesnt look attractive- whereas another girl could be wearing the exact same outfit and they'd look amazing because they're comfortable in it and it suits them.

if i was a man (and as a woman i suppose) id much prefer a casual girl to these types, however if it was between a girl dressed the way i described your OH and a casual looking girl id prob pick the former, does that make sense?


as for the OP, i dont really care about what men think, i'm with my bf years now so what other men think is irrelevant anyway, and i dont think im the kind of girl many guys would find attractive anyway (red/pink hair and ears that resemble a pin cushion!), but i do like to look in the mirror and think i myself look ok. i also like to think my bf finds me attractive but i wouldnt put make up on every day in order for that to happen, but i do make an effort-good skin, washed and styled hair, simple things like that. although my version of good looking and the conventional idea are very different!

Des Carter

RedXIV wrote: »

Gonna have to agree with the girls on this. like it or not, girls who are dressed up in shortskirts and high heels are going to get more attention than girls dressed in a more casual manner.

It's great that you are happy with such a laid back view, it really is. But personally, I love when my OH dresses up. Probably coz its a little bit rarer now and she would wear heels and a nice dress (coz she has amazing legs ) and it blows me away. I'm glad she only does it for going out as it would be a fearful distraction in the house

Remember, men are visual creatures!

I think you picked me up wrong there as I would deffinetly prefer a girl who dressed up in a nice dress and heels over t-shirt and jeans but there is a huge difference between nice dress and heels and "the hooker look" which is horrific.

There is a big difference between looking attractive and sexy and looking cheap and slutty

The Agogo

Do women realise they look just as good without make-up?

Men are only expected to have the 'i-look-after-myself' look, so why not the same other way round?

The Agogo

The Agogo wrote: »

Do women realise they look just as good without make-up?

I look a hell of a lot better with eyeliner and mascara

The Agogo

bluewolf wrote: »

I look a hell of a lot better with eyeliner and mascara

<snip>

Just read the charter. I'm not allowed to ask for proof.

Since of the male variety, I should really follow this!

seenitall

How important? Important enough, thank you very much.

I'm only in my thirties for Chrissakes, I do like to think it just about conceivable that I may at some point attract a specimen or two more, before the old age encroaches and it all goes to hell in the handbasket...

As for the hooker look, that's not the way I work it, but to each their own and all that.

princess-lala

I'm me and thats all that matters!

I can dress myself any different way to try attract men but I'm well aware that every man isn't gonna find me attractive! No matter how hard I try or don't try!

I wear what I feel comfortable in not anything that makes me look like a hooker! I don't feel the need to dress like a hooker!

AnnyHallsal

When I was in my teens and early twenties I cared way too much about what men in general thought of my appearance. I was dreadfully insecure and only felt I was attractive if that was the response I elicited.

My boyfriend has helped me tonnes with this. I just feel kind of ... accepted. I really couldn't care less what any other person thinks of my appearance, though I still dress up, wear make-up and do my hair but really because I like it. I know that my sense of self is still bolstered my someone's else opinion and that's less than ideal.

I'm certain that if I have a daughter I'll be careful about make-up and try not to speak about appearances in front of her. I remember my Mom and her friends fretting no end and it's really easy to pick that up.

I hope that if I end up single again in the future I'll keep this stronger sense of self. Make the best of yourself sure, but like what you have, and to hell with anyone who thinks otherwise!

Delicate_Dlite

I'm happy to say, I've never cared.

I've had insecurity issues, my entire life, and although my appearance is a huge stumbling block for me, whether men thought I was hot or not, has never been a factor in that.

I care what I think when I see in a mirror. (I know a lot of ppl don't understand that about insecurity problems, it really is nothing to do with other ppl's perception of my looks but mine.)

I've been told, almost constantly by friends/men that I should change things about myself to be more appealing to men, since I was a teen.
I.E. Lose weight/wear tan/don't wear tan/don't wear lip gloss/wear low cut tops/don't wear low cut tops/dress more girly etc . And it never has worked, if anything I just refuse out of stubborness.:rolleyes:

Due to my acne getting worse over the last 2 years I know always cover my décollatage/shoulders/neck/back and arms. So I guess I could be described as dressing more modestly, people have commented, and asked was I trying to repel men.:(

I have however dressed rather, well some here would call it hooker/dominatrix-chic.;) I did so as a adult, and never for male attention. I happen to like clothes that can be called 'fetish-inspired', esp the shoes!, I like them, they make me smile so, every so often I wear them. :cool:

starlit

Its not a major deal for me, but do like to look attractive enough when going out but I try to not over do it. I just aim to have make up on but make it look more natural rather than be too heavily made up. A wedding might be the only time I might do that. I do like to wear things that flatter me so thats really the done deal for me.

Jamie-b

I've been in a relationship for over 5 years. I no longer even bother to shave my legs unless it's a special occasion. I'm not sure if this is cause and effect but sometimes I wish I wanted to wear fake eyeleashes and slutty clothes and get loads of attention ...but I'm just not arsed:o

Richy06

The thing I never got is why women/girls of all ages seem to think the fake tan/loads of makeup look works. I do not know a single lad who likes it, including myself. Maybe I'm alone in this but I just think that women's makeup should match their skintone and not try to make them look like one of the last shower that got let go by Wonka's.

steel_spine

How important is being attractive to men to me?

Not in the slightest, but then, I'm gay
I have noticed that a lot of younger fellas (and some girls) find it inconceivable that a girl would not be dressing to be attractive to the male gaze, and actually seem to be offended/scared by it, I can understand the pressure to try and tick all the fashion/appearance boxes the media insists is what's attractive, but I gave up any hope of looking like a 'hot chick' years ago :pac:. Now I just look like me.

Nevyn

Fúck all for me, I wear what I want depending on what I am doing and how I am feeling.
I had a comment made at me while out one night wearing jeans and a nightmare before christmas t shirt and boots "Ah Jayus love, would you not make an effort" from some guy in yup jeans a soccer jersy and runners. I looked him up and down and said " not for the likes of you" and went back to my boyfriend.

If I want to wear heels and a skirt and a corset I will, I want to wear boots, combats and a black tshirt then I will. I dress for me not anyone else.

Nevyn

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/fashion/working-the-hooker-look-2324478.html

Working the hooker look

By AIda Austin
Saturday Sep 4 2010

It's 1am and I'm waiting outside an under-16s disco for my youngest daughter to appear. I watch a stream of girls pour out into the cold and I'm oddly mesmerised by a young girl whose red corset is failing to do its job. Her breasts have almost escaped their confines and her buttocks burst out of her shorts, like two pale dumplings. She looks sexually available and cold.

Her friend, wearing a bra top and hot-pants, hasn't got the hang of heels yet and clings on to the red-corset girl for support. At first glance they look about 18, but have the coltish grace of 13-year-olds.

They're joined by hundreds of other girls, spilling like a river of soft-porn stars on to the street. Now they clatter past my car window on vertiginous heels, flashing chilly thigh and cleavage.

These girls are working a look. The hooker look. And it doesn't look good.

Eileen Hogan, a lecturer on gender in UCC, uses a different term: 'porn chic', she calls it. She says that young Irish girls are trying to negotiate a complex world of adult sexuality while simultaneously being bombarded by soft-porn-style images in the media, which are unremitting, impossible to ignore and difficult to process.

"In Ireland, in the 1990s," Hogan explains, "there was a feminist backlash and the media became alert to this cultural shift. They began to re-brand soft porn as 'cool', as something women could reclaim for themselves. Advertising companies started to market the idea of 'sex as fun' and porn glamour was relentlessly promoted."

I think of the red-corset girl and the extent to which the porn-chic look has been successfully normalised. I wonder how teenagers themselves interpret this look?

I ask my 17-year-old daughter and a group of her friends what they think about porn chic.

"If you dress like that, it doesn't mean what you think it means," Abbie, a pretty, lissom girl who has just finished school, reassures me. "You do it because you just feel kind of prissy if you don't."

She tells me about a recent experience, when she arrived at a party and hadn't made much of an effort; she was wearing skinny jeans and flats.

"I felt out of place -- everyone was wearing short skirts, heels, whatever, and I wasn't getting any attention. I just felt kind of embarrassed -- like I was wearing too many clothes. I'm not going to make that mistake again."

I remark that this is like some weird inversion of the 'Emperor's New Clothes' moment and she humours me with a smile. "I suppose so, yeah," she concedes.

Do they feel under any pressure to wear overtly sexual clothes?

She answers: "Kind of, otherwise you're viewed as prim or a prude."

The other girls nod their heads in agreement, but there's a palpable nonchalance in their assent; it doesn't appear to bother them, this enforced conformity to a hyper-sexualised norm.

Siobhan, who is 18, explains: "It's just the way things are. It's all about looking 'hot' -- you have to look sexy. You only think about it looking sluttish if you're on your own, say if your friends are late and you're on the street, waiting for them to turn up. In a club, everyone's wearing the same. It's like a uniform."

My daughter asserts that "girls rate themselves on how sexy they look, especially when they're about 14 or 15, because it's all you ever read about in magazines. And on TV, they're always talking about what appeals to boys, what boys like. It's everywhere -- MTV, music videos, online. You get cop-on, though, as you get older."

Is this hooker look basically underpinned by girls' desire to be desired? Among the girls, there is complete consensus on this -- all of them reply, "yup".

Just how important is it for girls to be rated highly by boys for being sexy? I ask 16-year-old Clare, whose response time is one second. Her answer is unequivocal. "It's important," she replies, "definitely, but girls rate each other on their sex appeal to boys as well. We rate each other, especially when we're getting ready to go out."

Eileen Hogan believes that "girls are being sold a lemon. In Ireland, they're being instructed by the media on how to perform sexually, in terms of their image. Girls are told how to become an object of lust, but also how to deny. In the same newspaper or magazine, for example, you'll find images of topless, digitally enhanced, nubile young women juxtaposed with articles about poor academic performance, depression or low self-esteem in females".

The print media seems to nod in two directions at once, embracing a vulgar and reductive form of female sexuality, but also giving column inches to the misery and confusion it causes young girls.

I'm curious as to whether this obsessive media focus on women's sexual desirability encourages girls to look at themselves mainly through boys' eyes?

"I reckon yes," Clare responds.

"Not always," says Abbie. "It's mainly when I go out to parties and clubs. In the day, we knock around in hoodies, and boys are around then too."

So there is respite at times? Abbie confirms that there is, "of course, more so, as you get older".

These girls are confident, bright and autonomous, but this doesn't seem to mitigate the fact that they tend to view themselves through boys' eyes. Do they believe that their own are not of equal value?

I sense the window for dialogue is closing; they're off to a music festival tomorrow and have other things on their mind, but Siobhan, who seems to be more politicised than her peers, answers. "Only 13pc of Irish TDs are women." The other girls are listening and she sums it up for them -- or at least I think she does because there's no demurral. "We do have power, but it's still a man's world."

I want to ask them whether they are confusing sexual power with real-world power, if they believe that 'pornifying' their clothes is genuinely empowering, but they're starting to laugh now and I get up. I sense my time is up. They switch on 'Friends'.

I ask Hogan for her own, personal view on porn chic -- does she believe it empowers women? "My head and heart refuse to accept arguments that porn chic is empowering," she says. "Young girls dressed up in hooker wear are obviously highly sexualised, but this doesn't necessarily mean that they are enjoying their femininity or their sexuality."

Talking with my daughter's friends, I'd been struck by their cheerful acceptance of the hyper-sexualised cultural status quo. The normalisation of pornography's standards of beauty, through music videos and the internet, seemed not to impinge in any obviously damaging way.

Opening debate about these complex issues is something adults, especially parents, could embrace with sensitivity but without any timidity at all.

The power of the media can be challenged by encouraging girls to question the ideology it hard sells so relentlessly. Perhaps it's up to us, as adults, to help girls explore -- for themselves -- what it means to be fully sexual, as opposed to sexy.

We need to take our eye off the ball that has been kept in play for far, far too long -- the one-dimensional 'sexy' ball.

I, for one, have to say I'm bored with it (and I don't mind being viewed as a prude).

- AIda Austin

Feeona

Thaedydal wrote: »

I had a comment made at me while out one night wearing jeans and a nightmare before christmas t shirt and boots "Ah Jayus love, would you not make an effort" from some guy in yup jeans a soccer jersy and runners. I looked him up and down and said " not for the likes of you" and went back to my boyfriend.

Brilliant :pac:

It's a double standard that's quite prevalent though. Some men spend 10 mins getting ready, and then spend the night running down any girl who doesn't match up to their expectations (expectations driven by trying to out-do their own friends in their pack).

I've always more or less dressed for comfort. There were the few times when I gave into 'you should wear/apply (insert what is fashionable here)', and I felt like an idiot and I felt uncomfortable and each time swore I'd never do it again! Of course I used to say that after a banging hangover too!

I remember reading a sig once 'An opinion is like an ar*ehole, everyone has one' which made me laugh. Everybody seems to have an opinion on how women should physically present themselves. As Thaedydal so eloquently put it, Fúck that. You'd tie yourself up in knots trying to figure out what it is you're supposed to wear. I now follow the rule that I wear clothes that look good on me. I feel great when I do so, and so do the men around me :P

squeakyduck

I think is it quite important. I do try to look nice for my boyfriend but he just loves when I have no make up on! He likes me in my tatty tshirt that I like to wear to bed! :P

I've been out before, and just being either casual or dressy I have got chatted up at bars etc, but sure it's only my boyfriend I want to impress anyway! It's nice to know that others show interest and that you're not a troll!!!

Piste

Saw a bunch of girls out celebrating JC night at about 8pm in town (Dublin) today. They were very much rocking the hooker look.

duckysauce

? hooker look is the new look no ?