I can't get over him am i a stalker

Weetbix

I can't get over him am i a stalker
School just started and everything is going well so far, But one:
I made a big mistake the year before and asked a boy i really liked out, we have been friend's since the first year of secondary school (High school senior year in american terms) and knew each since primary school.
And i have found him attractive, fun and just great but never actually thought i would go over the friend barrier but around 2ND year (8TH GRADE) I just started to really like him, so i finally worked up the courage in 5Th year (11Th grade) and he said "I like someone else, am sorry"
oh he a year below me so he was in 3RD year at the time.

This crashed me unfortunately. I prepared myself for getting rejected (BECAUSE i knew i would get rejected don't know i just felt it) but it still hurt. In my life i have never felt so weak and sick it felt like when you fell as a kid and you hurt your self and you felt the pain of it wouldn't leave. Unfortunately this was my first time saying anything to a guy about how i feel, or even looking twice at a guy, I have liked guys before but mostly for there face nothing more really. I really wanted to cry but didn't and i just could bring myself to because its just a guy.

We finally got over it after 2 week of not talking to each other.
We were friend's again, We were back to hugging each other and crap friends do, but i still really liked him and felt my fondness growing for him each and everyday. So i thought summer would be great because we are away for one another. I Went to the Irish summer camp didn't really met another new am was very shy so it was hard and the only black person there just made me feel uncomfortable lol. But i had a great time everyone was just lovely, i came back thinking its finally over, but no i still liked him even after all that hes still nice and sweet. He doing transition year this year and am afraid he'll change but am more afraid that because of him i wouldn't be able to concentrate on other (Not studying no one can pull that away from me *_*) guys that are not him even though i have no interest in dating i just don't wanna end up a stalker or obsessed or broke or have a hate for all men or have him hate me. What should i do? To 1 get him out of head
2 Stop my self for wanting to be with him
3 keep our friendship still the end.
4 Should this not even move me at this time of the leaving cert?, and how can i stop it from doing so?
My thoughts on this is maybe it because i would like to meet him (Kiss) maybe thats all!
Oh i think it going too far because anytime am on facebook rare really but when i am i go on him page and jus look around WTF!! AM I OBESSED O_O

LegacyUser

You aren't friends with him as you are attracted to him. Lets be clear about that. I see this a lot of times with girls in particular. Its just a prelude to a relationship this 'friendship business'. Just let him go, if he doesn't want to go out with you he doesn't want to go out with you. No point in ruining your self esteem in this fashion.

Weetbix

How can just break up 4 years of.... what we since to have just like that, its not easy and i don't think it'll help at all.

JayEnnis

You realise this is an Irish forum?

Anyway, best thing you can do is hang out with friends that aren't mutual friends and hopefully find someone else. You sound pretty young so it really will pass, there's plenty more fellas out there.

Black Swan

JayEnnis wrote: »

You realise this is an Irish forum?

She's cool.

You're not a stalker. Rose on Two-and-a-Half Men is a stalker. You are on the rebound. You need to chill. Get out more and date other lads.

JayEnnis

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

She's cool.

You're not a stalker. Rose on Two-and-a-Half Men is a stalker. You are on the rebound. You need to chill. Get out more and date other lads.

Just don't understand the need to state the years in American grades thats all.

Black Swan

JayEnnis wrote: »

Just don't understand the need to state the years in American grades thats all.

I've been across the pond Stateside for well over 4 years at university, and have found birds chatting about all sorts of unrelated things when they are attempting to deal with something that bothers them. Don't scare her off. She's young, needs to chill, and get out more.

katie99

You are so young. You have your whole life ahead of you.
He is just one guy. Just one guy. There are thousands of other guys out there.
I am sure if you just relax a little, and avoid situations being in his company or with HIS friends, that you will be fine.
You are not a stalker, but there is a danger you could become obsessed with this boy.
And that is all he is a BOY.
Find new hobbies and interests and start chilling a bit and date loads of guys. Don't shag them, date them. Get to know them, how they think, how they relate to girls. Enjoy time with them.
You will forget this boy when you meet someone else who holds your attention.

Overheal

JayEnnis wrote: »

Just don't understand the need to state the years in American grades thats all.

I read it as she's Irish but goes to school in the States. Vice Versa I was American and went to school in Ireland, taking my summer holidays in the States. But it's irrelevant to her issue.

OP you say you are hugging and horsing around? I'd probably stop that. Research proves you always want something more if you touch it. Granted that was research about shopping but the same applies to infatuation. And see? You're thinking about one of those hugs right now.. all the more reason to cut that sort of thing out, if you plan to quit obsessing.

johanz

Wounds heal, pain goes away. Simple.
If one said no, there's a lot of other people.

king_of_inismac

The simple answer is this:

You're not going to get over him while you spend every day with/obsessing over him.

You need to distance yourself from him and meet other people.

That's how you get over him. Spending your days fawning over him is only going to prolong the pain, I'm afraid.