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The tension... :O

  • 03-09-2010 10:48pm
    #1
    Chuchoter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,305 ✭✭✭


    Right, so this is very long story.

    I'm 17 and I'm a lesbian, I came out to my friend (lets call her Sara, she's 16) last February, and although she said she was fine with it and said she was bisexual, it was obvious to me that she was very uncomfortable about my sexuality in herself. Every teen girl I meet seems to say they're bi, so I don't take much heed of it, at the time she was straight :P. Anywho, she became very uncomfortable around me: wouldn't touch me/hug me/sit near me/stand near me, she was still really nice but she was terrified of me, and I think that was because I've made her re-evaluate her whole idea of herself as a straight person, because she doesn't know any other lesbians ever.

    So throughout all of these shenanigans I was head over heels in love with her, she drives me crazy, but since she was so uneasy around me I got really annoyed (in retrospect, perhaps unfairly) and stopped talking to her as much as I felt she'd lied to me about being comfortable with the whole thing and made me feel so isolated. I did my best to stop liking her...or at least not think about it so much.

    NOW, we have a problem. We were at the cinema with a group of friends last week just after coming back in to school after barely seeing each other all summer, and the tension was enormous. She called me back 'because she like the song at the credits' and it was very obvious she was thinking about saying something.:eek: I still really like her, but I don't want to like her and I don't quite remember why anymore. Sitting beside her in class is nearly too much for me!

    Last year I was all like yay I'm gay and proud and life is great, but now I don't feel so jovial about the matter. I want a girlfriend, I want her, but the idea of actually going out with a girl TERRIFIES ME because so much **** has gone down around my being gay this year between my friends and my family. This is like being a 12 year old boy meeting a girl for the first time. What do I do now?


Comments

  • #2
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    She is probably comfortable with the concept of lesbianism, its very easy to accept all kinds of stuff in theory. :) Bisexuality seems to be the latest craze, I think people latch on and claim it as a cool label without really thinking it through at all.

    Yes, she has had to get used to you as a slightly different person, but maybe she is also all too clearly aware of your feelings towards her, and that may be why she is discreetly keeping her distance. So she doesnt lead you on, and it doesnt come to a head?

    She may or may not actually be bisexual, but she is not lesbian. If she wanted a relationship with you, she is close enough to you to say so. So far, she hasnt and tbh, I wouldnt go on hoping that she will. No amount of wanting on your part will make her want you if she doesnt. You may love her, but you cant have her and youll only tie yourself in knots wishing. Its the same for everyone who has unrequited love, gay or straight.


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