Open Plan Office

MeetingRoom

I am not too sure whether this should be in PI or elsewhere but here goes….


I work in an Open Plan Office and am part of a team!
Recently I have realised that I am being ignored at work not only by people on my own team but other people who also work in my office!

The work we do takes us away from Headquarters most of the time…in fact I have only been in HQ for about 10 days this year so far…it is just a stop gap before we go out on another job and realistically we shouldn’t be there for very long at all! One of my problems is that we do a lot of travel around the country and the other people on my team refuse to go away travelling (Only 1 has a reasonable excuse as they are a single parent), so the majority of the travel is left to me….which could be up to 20 weeks of the year working down the country on your own!

I was away travelling constantly from March to July this year and then had a couple of weeks off in August just to relax and re-climatise! So I am back to work for the last 2 weeks and nobody on my team has made reference to the fact that they haven’t seen me for nearly 5 months, let alone asked me how I have been or what I am up to!

I have gotten little jibs referring to the fact that I earn the highest salary and am the only one eligible for promotion (I work hard for the salary I am on and sacrifice a lot for the job). I don’t get involved in Office gossip, I never give out about my boss / work (I feel lucky to have a job in the current climate) and I keep my Private life Private (This doesn’t sit at all well with people).

So like I said I am back now a couple of weeks and not once have I been asked to go for morning Coffee, lunch or talked to…people tend to talk over me to others in the open plan but do not involve me in the conversation…its like I am invisible!

To say that I feel excluded is an understatement. Last week was bad enough but I dreaded all weekend coming back into work and have not slept since Saturday night! Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble I am holding back the tears as I type it…Monday was my late sisters anniversary and although people in the office knew nobody acknowledged the date or me!

Any suggestions on how I can turn this situation around? I never thought you could be so alone and left out in an open plan Office!

Oryx

You say you were out of the office for 5 months, so I think it is understandable that you are out of the loop. People there dont really know you and you are not part of their regular routine.

If you attempt to make conversation yourself with others are you blanked by them, or does that work ok?

ash23

I work in an open plan office too. And there are people I get on with and people I don't.
I tend to distance myself from people higher up the food chain than myself so I won't say anything out of place or that can be used against me.

My "friends" in work, the ones I have lunch with and socialise with, well, we b*tch about our bad days, we talk about our lives outside of work. Even the ones I wouldn't socialise with outside of the office, we would still discuss our holidays, nights out, family etc.
Did you keep in touch with them the months you were away? Emails, texts etc?

It seems like you're holding back on them and in return, they are holding back from you.
We have a manager who is a bit like you. Nice enough but very "business", takes work very seriously, tells us we're lucky to have a job, never talks about himself. I find him very hard to talk to and I'm always afraid I'll say something out of place so I avoid him as much as possible.

I don’t get involved in Office gossip, I never give out about my boss / work (I feel lucky to have a job in the current climate) and I keep my Private life Private (This doesn’t sit at all well with people).

This line makes me think you are a bit closed off from your co-workers and it may be the reason you are finding yoursel excluded. Do you go on nights out, get involved in events etc? IMO, it's important to integrate yourself with your co-workers if you want to be part of the team.

jessiejam

Theres a girl like that who works with me
Wants to be in the loop chatting with others getting all the news, but others don't involve her as she has nothing to add to the conversation. Just sits there trying to take it all in
Very nice girl might I add just a bit boring and by the book.

Shes the type who gives away nothing with her head down, and then expects to be welcomed to every coffee morning etc.

You say you never bad mouth the boss etc, are you extremely good friends with him/her and people are afraid to open up to you out of fear that everything you say will be said back to him/her?

If I were you I would try and make an effort with them. Give a little and you'd be surprised what you get in return.

If they are blanking you completely when and if you do try then thats an entirely different matter.

MeetingRoom

Thanks for replies!

In reply, when I was out of the Office I sent e-mails / texts to team mates but never got a reply! When invited I do socialise with my workmates but nights out have been dwindling in the past year due to the recession! My interests differ enormously from the girls that I work with - I have never watched X factor / reality shows or soaps / serialised drama. Instead I am sporty and spend my nights in the gym or meeting up with friends for a walk / chat!

When I say I keep my Private Life Private...I mean should you have to discuss your sex life to an open plan office...because these are the type of questions that I am being asked which I find intrusive! I do speak about other things like family, socialising, shopping etc...I certainly don't cut myself off that way!

Last week whilst I was in my managers office and she had the window open we could hear 2 girls outside her office gossiping about me...she immediately closed the window...I suppose to save my embarrassment! Every time this week I have started a conversation I have been totally blanked! I am well thought off at work by Senior Members of staff but there seems to be a jealous element from general staff and I can't work out what I have done! (I do wonder is this a product of the recession...my sister had the same problem in her previous job and the jealously / bitchiness made her quit her job. She was lucky to get another job...at lower pay).

This is eating me up inside! I really considered ending it all this morning but my boyfriend said that these people were not worth the effort! I know he is right!

jessiejam

MeetingRoom wrote: »

Thanks for replies!

In reply, when I was out of the Office I sent e-mails / texts to team mates but never got a reply! When invited I do socialise with my workmates but nights out have been dwindling in the past year due to the recession! My interests differ enormously from the girls that I work with - I have never watched X factor / reality shows or soaps / serialised drama. Instead I am sporty and spend my nights in the gym or meeting up with friends for a walk / chat!

When I say I keep my Private Life Private...I mean should you have to discuss your sex life to an open plan office...because these are the type of questions that I am being asked which I find intrusive! I do speak about other things like family, socialising, shopping etc...I certainly don't cut myself off that way!

Last week whilst I was in my managers office and she had the window open we could hear 2 girls outside her office gossiping about me...she immediately closed the window...I suppose to save my embarrassment! Every time this week I have started a conversation I have been totally blanked! I am well thought off at work by Senior Members of staff but there seems to be a jealous element from general staff and I can't work out what I have done! (I do wonder is this a product of the recession...my sister had the same problem in her previous job and the jealously / bitchiness made her quit her job. She was lucky to get another job...at lower pay).

This is eating me up inside! I really considered ending it all this morning but my boyfriend said that these people were not worth the effort! I know he is right!

First of all when you say you considered ending it all this morning I will assume you are talking about your job and not your life. If the later is the case you should seek some professional help immediatly.

I read in your earlier post that you are the highest paid in the office yet you are staying away from socialising from them because of the recession?

TBH this would piss me off too if I worked with you. Obv they are all struggling on lower wages than you. And with you earning the most in there to me it would seem like more of a cop out than anything.
Maybe your going to have to accept the fact that they don't want to chat to you?. You say you get along with the senior people and your boss etc, maybe you should try chatting to them about things and just getting on with the job.

Don't mean to sound harsh but your not going to get on with everyone in life, nor is everyone going to like you for who you are. Something all of us have to accept. But dwelling on it won't get you anywhere.

Ignore the gossip and idle chit chat but stay friendly and maybe they might warm to you again someday.

MeetingRoom

Just to clarify the folling Jessiejam:

"I read in your earlier post that you are the highest paid in the office yet you are staying away from socialising from them because of the recession?"

I am not the highest paid in the office...I am in my group and only by €2k per annum...this was spouted out by my boss to another team member earlier in the year during an arguement! I am not staying away from socialising with them....its just that nights out have been rarely organised in the last year...its either that or I just haven't been invited!

krudler

So you dont socialise or partake in office chit chat with these people, keep your life private, then expect them be all questions when you come back after a few months? maybe they just didnt notice you were gone? I was out of my job for nearly 10 months on illness leave and the morning I came back someone asked me what had I been upto for the weekend, they didnt even notice I hadnt been around for nearly a year, and truth be told theres plenty of people who work there who I wouldnt notice are gone either. About not being asked to go for coffee, have YOU asked someone to go for coffee with you? seems like you're putting in no effort then complaining nobody else is either.

jessiejam

Ok but your still higher paid than the rest of your team? Theres no "I" in TEAM bla bla....:o

Jealousy could be some of it too you know, and the fact that they know you earn more. How did they find this out? (Just read your post again, your manager blurted it out. what a complete gowl for doing that, and you are suffering the brunt of it over her?... eh why are you friendly with her again? Doesn't rest lightly with others when the boss is shouting across the room sticking up for a member of staff while stating they earn more than you in a na na na na way!)

Maybe they think its unfair on them, they may not see the reasons you are higher paid. And are taking those issues out on you when maybe they should be pulling the finger out and earning themselves a pay rise.

I would mention it to the line manager and see what she says. She obv knows there is something going on when she heard the gossip outside her window and shut it to save you the embarassment.

She is the manager after all and should be getting to the bottom of it if it is affecting the office moral. And more importantly affecting the staff.

MeetingRoom

@ Krudler - I do do chit chat just not private life as I mentioned above...some of the questions are intrusive..I wouldn't even ask my best friend these so why should I discuss it with work colleagues! Also twice I asked people if they would like to go for coffee last week...both times I was blanked!

@jessiejam - I didn't realise that I was the highest paid until my boss spat it at another team member during an arguement they were having earlier in the year....I work hard for it - have more clients and always have my work in on time and to a high standard!

jessiejam

MeetingRoom wrote: »

@ Krudler - I do do chit chat just not private life as I mentioned above...some of the questions are intrusive..I wouldn't even ask my best friend these so why should I discuss it with work colleagues! Also twice I asked people if they would like to go for coffee last week...both times I was blanked!

@jessiejam - I didn't realise that I was the highest paid until my boss spat it at another team member during an arguement they were having earlier in the year....I work hard for it - have more clients and always have my work in on time and to a high standard!

I'm not doubting for a second you work hard for it. I'm sure you do. TBH I would have more of an issue with your boss spatting it at another team member than anything else.
The rest of the team may just see you as the teachers pet, childish maybe, but I would seriously make sure your boss explains herself to the other staff so they don't see you as such.

peekyboo

Yeah gotta say that we have someone that sounds a little bit like you in our open plan office (not trying to make you feel bad, just to explain). Most of us would get on well while at work, we're not each others whole lives or anything and rarely speak outside of office hours apart from a night out here and there. But we do have the craic.

There's a man that works with us who refuses to join in any chat and actually makes me feel (cant speak for anyone else) a bit unprofessional and silly for talking about something other than the meeting agenda and the week's spreadsheets. I work extremely hard at my job but I also need the human element. He's a nice enough man but his 'I'm a much harder worker than you because I constantly have my face in my computer' attitude really gets on my t*ts. It's very...patronising.

BroomBurner

OP, I would try not to worry too much about these people. They more than likely see what your senior managers can see - that soon you will be their boss.

The hardest part of managing people is to realise that people will talk about you, sometimes good, sometimes bad. That's just the way it is. You're getting a bit of experience of this now, so use it to your advantage and learn how to grow a thick skin.

Just because you don't like to share too much personal info, or like to take part in idle chit-chat, doesn't make you a worse person than your workmates, it actually makes you better.

Your bf is 100% correct. B*tchy people are not worth any worry over.

thefeatheredcat

Firstly, bear in mind, out of sight = out of mind

After being away for 5 months, you've probably missed out on a lot that's happened in the office from the rest of your team bonding more closely and possibly all have have chats about changes in life due to recession etc that you have missed out on.

It's a bit like having been on maternity leave, most people don't notice until you walk in with the baby on a visit. Or being on extended sick leave, after a while people stop asking cos it's gone on so long that nobody really knows and gets to a point of sensitive topic.

In my last job in an open office, half the people you wouldn't know where they were or what happened when you didn't see them around anymore, and after a while of not seeing someone you just forget about them and carry on with whoever's about. Most people would assume after not seeing for weeks that they've left and not said anything.

I ended up working on several different projects to climb up the financial ladder so I ended up spending time in other departments on other floors and more time away from my team... so they saw me a lot less, which meant I interacted with them a lot less so when the projects ended it was difficult to get back into the whole clique of the team. They kind of forgot I was even there because I was away from my regular floor so much and missed out on a lot of people's personal happenings during that time.

With regards travelling, did you volunteer for it or did you draw the short straw? you know, you don't have to do it, you can let others pick up the slack. If you're not happy with that, speak to your manager.

In team terms, they could resent you doing all the 'extra' work for the 'extra' pay, which you have proven you have worked hard for, so there possibly is a bit of jealousy that you're getting more than they are.... as for your manager blurting it out about your pay, big no-no and they should have been pulled up for that by their manager....because they're not supposed to divulge that sort of sensitive information regardless (and in some companies would receive disciplinary action or be fired for doing so.... law suits etc)

So nobody's really noticed you're back and short of your manager going around the office to introduce yourself... well you're going to have to break the ice.
A lot of people don't like to talk about their personal business, but there are other things to talk about. Invite your team mates for lunch/coffee and make an effort to instigate conversations and chats with them. Recent happenings in the news like today about driving, the amount on the dole having increased, mortgages etc will all be topical if the soaps aren't.

You really have the choice, either sit back and be invisible and be miserable or make yourself visible and be open to others and be happy. You could make a bit of effort and do a few nice things for others that maybe lightens the mood a bit. But you're just going to have to jump right in there head on, cos the more you sit back and be invisible, the more they probably think you're being standoffish and snobby now you're that bit more accomplished than them (I know you're probably not but that may be the perception they have).

As for gossip....pay no heed! It's just gossip and not worth getting upset over it. Having been on the receiving end of overhearing gossip about me before, it's horrible when it happens. But those same people who gossip will gossip about anything and anyone including the people they share gossip with.

Don't take anything that happens at work too personally that it gets you down.. it's just work and hey, you don't need to spend eternity with these people.

Keep the chin up, smile and just bust your way in there and pretend you never left. Disregard the emails/texts you sent while away, that's water under the bridge and they probably don't remember anyway. Engage them with whatever positive energy you have, because going to work miserable, stressed and unhappy, spending your day in that frame of mind and going home with that frame of mind is just not worth it and will wear you down to the point of your mental health suffering.

LegacyUser

Hi Op,

Sorry to hear about your situation..how horrible. I wonder if perhaps the best route is to start again. Remail polite and friendly. If you see/hear or perceive that someone is gossiping or ignoring you, choose to believe they didnt hear you etc. Sometimes it is our perception of things that makes it worse...for example if we think someone is ignoring us, we tend to think 'to hell with them' etc and in turn we end up backing away or looking grumpy or whatever. All you are looking for now is a pleasant environment so the friendlier you are as in smiley, hellos and small talk the easier your day will be.
If you hear someone say things about you and you are 100% sure then approach them nicely and ask them if you have offended them in any way...in the sweetest way, they won't be long feeling guilty and ashamed.
Look thats my 2 cents..I had a HORRENDOUS time in my last job and got through it like this. Definitely we can choose the higher road...end of the day when people are unhappy in their job they bitch...u may be the brunt of it for now but you won't always be.
Hope this is somewhat helpful and the best of luck to you

Overheal

MeetingRoom wrote: »

Thanks for replies!

In reply, when I was out of the Office I sent e-mails / texts to team mates but never got a reply! When invited I do socialise with my workmates but nights out have been dwindling in the past year due to the recession! My interests differ enormously from the girls that I work with - I have never watched X factor / reality shows or soaps / serialised drama. Instead I am sporty and spend my nights in the gym or meeting up with friends for a walk / chat!

When I say I keep my Private Life Private...I mean should you have to discuss your sex life to an open plan office...because these are the type of questions that I am being asked which I find intrusive! I do speak about other things like family, socialising, shopping etc...I certainly don't cut myself off that way!

Last week whilst I was in my managers office and she had the window open we could hear 2 girls outside her office gossiping about me...she immediately closed the window...I suppose to save my embarrassment! Every time this week I have started a conversation I have been totally blanked! I am well thought off at work by Senior Members of staff but there seems to be a jealous element from general staff and I can't work out what I have done! (I do wonder is this a product of the recession...my sister had the same problem in her previous job and the jealously / bitchiness made her quit her job. She was lucky to get another job...at lower pay).

This is eating me up inside! I really considered ending it all this morning but my boyfriend said that these people were not worth the effort! I know he is right!

So you're at least one of the highest paid members of staff that has the respect of her superiors and just has to deal with a couple team douchebags in a confined space for a few years a week that have completely different viewpoints and interests to you? Well paid with someone to go home to as well

What's the problem here in fairness :pac:

Here's my advice in fairness: Fcuk'em. That anyway is what they appear to be doing with you. I assume you're involved in your job even though you're away and from their perspective you swoop in at random intervals and are better paid to boot. they never see your work so to them its like "who the fuk are you?" Also you're just as likely to be gone another 5 months.

Whatever it is, it's not worth taking it personally. Stay professional. I'd be less worried if they didn't respond to a personal email, but not responding to business emails is something to actually address.

LegacyUser

MeetingRoom wrote: »

One of my problems is that we do a lot of travel around the country and the other people on my team refuse to go away travelling (Only 1 has a reasonable excuse as they are a single parent), so the majority of the travel is left to me….which could be up to 20 weeks of the year working down the country on your own!

I keep my Private life Private (This doesn’t sit at all well with people).

Monday was my late sisters anniversary and although people in the office knew nobody acknowledged the date or me!

First of all, are you giving off the impression you think that others aren't pulling their weight because they don't travel? It's real easy to give off a vibe without even realising you're doing so!

Second, if you like to keep your private life private, your colleagues might think you want to be left alone. If I was talking to someone who got uncomfortable each time I asked them a question about themselves (and they don't ask me questions about myself), I would just assume they want to be left alone.

And as for your sister's anniversary, did yout tell them it was her anniversary, or are you saying that they knew the date she died? People wouldn't remember a date, so I wouldn't be too hard on them in that case.

I hope work is going better for you now that you're back a few days. First days back are always hard!