Leave work for the dole?

LegacyUser

First of all, I am in a job I deplore - I have zero job satisfaction, hate the people I work with and am on a low salary.

I am a single parent with one child, I have my own home and a mortgage (1000pm).

I lost my 'real' job almost two years ago, and took this job in a panic, feeling it would pay the bills until I got another 'proper job'. In the past two years in that awful place, I have sunk into a depression, put on weight, am drinking more than I should and am generally, in a pretty bad place in my life.

A couple of years ago, I returned to college and studied for a year to gain a diploma - I did this p/t in the evenings and funded it myself. I'm in my late 30s and realised that I loved college and education and really, really wanted to go on and study to degree level to gain a qualification to get me into another field of work. However, I didn't have any money left and couldn't find funding anywhere.

So I'm stuck in this awful rut where my health is begining to suffer due to the job. I feel like I regret every day of my life (isn't that an awful thing to say?), because I spend it surrounded by people I hate, in a job I hate and have very little money. My child is all that keeps me going.

Two friends of mine have recently received BTE grants for courses because they are on social welfare.

In my ideal world, I would pack in this job, go on lone parents allowance for six months and avail of the many courses that are currently out there for the unemployed (my brother has also been accepted for a 6 months f/t course in a local college - he's on the dole, and is receiving govt funding for it).

On the one hand, I am so jealous of these people who have been able to return to education for free (although they have lost their jobs) and on the other, I am terrified to leave my job. I am aware that there is a back log for lone parents allowance, and also for mortgage interest relief. I would also fall into arrears with my mortgage, as I know that the interest relief available only covers a portion of the interest. I know that life would be very difficult (financially) for myself and my child if I did that, but I also know that if I struggled for about 2yrs, while he's still young (he's 6), I would be in a better paid job and would also be in (I hope) a job that I actually like...! I have also tried to look for better paid work, but without the qualification, the competition is very hard and I have received no replies from many applications.
What would you do???? Every single day I think I'm leaving and then I look at the reality of mortgage arrears/debt etc....
Any advice for me please???

BTW, I have lived on lone parents allowance for 6 months when he was younger and struggled to get back to f/t employment and buy my home, but I did it. I was so proud of myself, but that pride and self esteem has been chipped away in the last few years - I say this to advise that I KNOW the struggle of LPA and I'm under no illusions about how difficult our lives could be.
Thanks for reading.

AvaKinder

I don't really have any advice for you as only you can make this decision for youself. But I will point out that you may get a backlash from people who will (rightly) point out that this is not what the dole is intended for. It has also become alot harder to get places in college courses with the increase in people applying. (In fact you prob won't get a place anywhere this year, I only started applying in the last month and everywhere I was interested in was full).

You seem to be aware of how hard it could be, another point you didn't put in your post that you may have already considered is that you will be ineligible to even apply for the dole for a number of weeks (two months maybe not too sure) if you quit your jobs. So add however many weeks that would be to the waiting times (which can be up to 16 weeks in some areas) and you could be with any income for a number of months before your claim is paid out. Although there is the CWO.

Also take into consideration the fact that they are tightening up the requirements for BTEA and they may also reduce SW payments in the next budget.

uoluol

Well, financially I doubt you would be better off on one parent family allowance/Dole. You would get €225.80 weekly for yourself an child, and only a portion of the interest only paid on your mortgage.

If you are earning less than €425 gross a week you could still apply now for one parent family allowance, even at partial rate, and in a years time you would be eligible for the BTE allowance.

You do know that to go on a third level course you need to be signing on for a year, so even if you did give up your job you may not be eligible for anything until at least Sept 2011.

Is there any way you could continue studying on a part time basis, might be a better solution??

By the way, it's common to hate your job. I detest mine......

James Forde

although my circumstances weren't the same as yours (less child) i did this two years a go, didn't renew contract with job i absolutely loathed, went on the dole

first few weeks were grand, but soon things went downhill, low sell esteem, bored to tears everyday, no routine, not enough money to get by/disposable income to enjoy myself

my advice would be to persevere and focus on getting a new job instead of looking at the dole as an alternative, it should be a last resort

just my two cents

p.s positive thinking

Chuchoter

If you say you are depressed, lying around the house all day won't make you feel any better. Look for a better job and save up for more education

Motley Crue

OP, I financially doubt you would be better off on the dole, and your college place would not be covered by the Government and they wouldn't pay to allow you to go back to college. If you hate the job as much as you do then maybe you should quit, but be prepared for a drop in lifestyle and continue to look for honest work as opposed to abusing the social welfare...which is intended for those who honestly feel the brunt of unemployment and want a new job, not a shortcut or a handy four years

Kidchameleon

Op,

I would suggest a "grin and bear it" approach. Stay in your current job, whilst searching for a better one. Do your degree at night (Open University perhaps). It may take you a couple of years but in fairness there are lots of people in similar situations at the moment and the luxury of ample jobs available that we had during the boom years is now gone...

I too am a single parent with a mortgage in a job that I cant stand. I do however get along great with my colleges. I realize that I'm lucky to have a job at least so I try to make the most of it. I'm about half way through studying for my degree with the OU, its very expensive but the way I look at it is, it'll pay for itself when I start earning the big bucks in a job that I love

Good Luck.

LegacyUser

OP here.

With respect, I hate that expression 'you're lucky to have a job'. There is no luck involved in a job that makes my health suffer, that makes me cry at least twice a week on my way in, or on my way home, that has me on the brink of heading to my GP for anti-ds. It's hard to explain my job - but it is of no value to anyone. I don't do anything that assists anyone...it's such a waste of money for everyone involved, and yet, it's a company that has millions in the bank and pays the guys at the top an enormous amount, and us plebbs at the bottom, a pittance.

I should have mentioned in my original post that I pay alot of childcare costs currently, as I have a long commute too (2.5hrs) and so am not home from work till after 7 most evenings. I have very little quality time with my child and even weekends are spent trying to catch up on the life I'm missing during the week. I earn just more than enough to qualify for fis.
I don't intend to 'use' the dole as a means to return to education - I am so close to walking away from my job day in/day out, and alot of the courses I've looked out only require you to be on the dole for 6 months. I don't think they're actualyl BTE stuff - it's more like the college is funding them (there's stuff at nci, for example). And although there would be a long wait for my payment, they wouldn't let me starve so I would get some payment.

I dunno - is my job more important that any quality of life???

I have a pal who is on lone parents, she minds a baby in the mornings, does a course in the evenings, will have her degree in the next year...seems to have it sewn up. Having said that, she is in social housing and pays 21pw for her rent to the local council...so I suppose it's not really comparable to my outgoings.....I'm so fed up.

StillWaters

I advise you to make an appointment with the Guidance Counsellor in your local VEC. There are options open to you. You just need someone qualified and informed to advise you before you do something rash.

mikemac

Kidchameleon wrote: »

I realize that I'm lucky to have a job

Most overused phrase around!
You are not lucky to have a job, you applied for it and are good it and you deserve it.
You are not lucky, other people are just unlucky to have lost theirs.

And no job is worth your health, if the OP is breaking down into tears then it's not worth doing.
Good advice on doing a degree part time or night courses.

I don't know enough about welfare or BTEA to advise on that

dellas1979

Can we ask why you dislike your job so much?

Ill be honest, most people are in jobs to pay the bills - not for the fun of it - but to the detriment of your health? Why is it so bad there? It sounds like you are mad at yourself, more than at the job. You are mad at yourself for taking a crappy job for the right reasons.

Why is it affecting your health so much?

LegacyUser

Like I said, it's difficult to describe my job. It's a small office with 6 people in an open plan room. I don't get on with anyone in the place - 2 of them are friendly with each other, the rest of them don't open their mouth from the minute we get into work, until we lock up. They sit at their computers, head down with their backs to me (just the layout of the office). I get a 'good morning' when I walk in, that's it. No one goes out for lunch - they all eat at their desks. We are all researchers in the medical field (I'm the most junior) and they are all so committed to their jobs.
Like I said, I pay a fair amount to someone to mind my child every day and it takes me over an hour to drive to an environment where nobody speaks (not even about the job!). I was very paranoid at the start, having come from an environment where I had great friends and looked on that other job as my social life - we all did our jobs, but we got on well, chatted through the day, had lunch together etc etc. I don't get out much (finances) and my previous job was like a social outlet for me. In this job, I was sure they just didn't like me, but having recently spoken to the person I replaced, it turns out he did my job for 2yrs and it was exactly the same.

So my self esteem got quite low at the start and having realised very quickly that there is no value in anything I do in there, I feel completely worthless and useless. I've had a few jobs, all of them long term and all of them I left to progress my career or salary...in this job, I feel inadequate, useless and worthless. I'm off sick at the moment but am due back next week :-(

LegacyUser

i can see where you are coming from alright and i am in a similar position with a mortgage and bills to cover.
over a month ago i mustered up the courage to hand in my notice. i have to say i did it during a complete meltdown and was probably not thinking rationally at all. and here i am jobless and to a certain degree aimless.If anything i am more unhappy. i think the feeling of have no purpose and the fear of destitution is somewhat worse then the dread of working in my job. Consider your options carefully...if you are planning to do this make sure you save as much money as you can. set yourself a goal. you do not want to be tied to the house day in day out. Further education is always an advantage but sometimes work experience is more beneficial than anything. everybody has degrees, postgrads diplomas these days. Think of getting a job that bridges the gap..it would be better than quitting and claiming welfare. its far more healthy for you mentally. it does not have to necessarily be a forever job..Anyhow I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

LegacyUser

Hi OP!
I'm sorry your in such a crap situation! Have you ever tried to talk to any of these co-workers is there any chance any of them are feeling the same about the silence in work?

Based on my own experience of being on the dole, it only crumbles your self esteem even more. There is nothing worse really than going in and collecting your dole every week. Having no job to get up for in the morning made me feel totally worthless, inadequate and useless(getting no replies from any jobs advertised even when i think i have all experience they required just not 5 years of it!!!) I started getting jealous of every job no matter how awful it would have seemed to me in the past.
Now I have a job that is pretty awful and I only get 3 days a week and minimal hours but at least its something and I honestly feel a bit better as at least I'm doing something!
Is there anyway you could reduce your hours and claim dole for half the week or something-I dont know how that would affect you financially, I know a lot of single mothers working part time and claiming lone parents but dont know what the ins and outs are.
Also like the previous poster said your current job is not forever thats how I look at mine and hopefully the fact you hate it as I do mine will motivate you to search for something better.

thefeatheredcat

firstly, OP, your mental health and quality of life is far, far more important than a job.

go to your GP talk to them about how low you're feeling and the psychological pressure you're under... even if it means getting anti depressants and referred to counselling. While I don't have kids, I was in a job I hated (which I used to enjoy) and when it came to an end through redundancy, I was so relieved because that stress wasn't there. It took a long time for me to deal with the effects that the stress and other things from that job had on my overall health.

You should be really proud of what you have already achieved.

Your best option is to talk to your GP about what you're feeling, I guarantee they will understand, as when I spoke to mine about how low I felt, they were really lovely.
Keep your chin up and look for a better job and make the move when you're happier in yourself- it's not always about the qualification necessary, it's about the person too.

As for life on the dole - if you're already feeling that low about yourself then it's going to be 10 times worse on the dole; fair enough you may get more time with your child, but you have to think about the cost of raising the child too and that can be worry, not to mention regarding your mortgage repayments etc. You'll have a 9 week minimum wait as a penalty for leaving a job, plus then all the forms and paperwork, visits to CWO, SW office, the endless and tireless waiting and waiting for everything to come through, and then the assessments. Should you qualify for job seekers benefit from prsi, that eventually gets cut off (with minimum warning) and then you have to start the whole process of jsa again. even with the lone parents, sw payments, etc I know from a family member in that situation that it means living on less and a lesser quality of life than any paying job would offer. As for bte allowance, I know of a few people who didn't qualify who were dependant on it, they actually didn't qualify for anything other than the basic dole because they were already too accomplished with their education, so it's not all roses for everyone.

I would suggest maybe having a chat with someone in citizens information as to your particular situation, they may have some advice to offer. Read up on their website and with welfare.ie as to what entitlements you can receive.

Stick it out in your current job, get mental help and when you're in a healthier frame of mind you will be able to get yourself something better. You might have a few hills to climb, but you'll get there

LegacyUser

Thanks.

You forget that if I was 'on the dole', I have a home that needs cleaning and a child that needs minding (drop/collect from school and all that goes with afterschool stuff), so while I understand that it can also be soul destroying on the dole, I wont be sitting around all day doing nothing.

If i got LPA, I would be eligible for 20hrs a week employment, and it wouldnt affect my dole. My current job aren't open to p/t, and even if they were, the commute alone takes so long that i couldnt do it, as I would still need childcare.

I know there are alot of people in my situation, who hate their jobs..but surely there has to be more to life than this?

LegacyUser

Thanks.

It's my mental health that is suffering the most.

I have made an appointment with my gp for tomorrow - Im currently out sick with anxiety, but i want to talk to her about my back problem tomorrow and I think Im at the point of breaking down and asking for anti-ds.

Ive also had a miscarriage earlier this year, which, as horrible as it sounds, was a blessing in disguise because as difficult as life is for me at the moment, I know it would have been a million times worse if I had another mouth to feed. My current/ex bf is around when it suits him, but I feel Im in control of that situation and he'll be gone once I get back on my feet.

So gp tomorrow...get some anti ds and perhaps referral for counselling? Stick with the job for now...grin and bear it..and start looking for another job, closer to home and more fulfilling.

Now. I've solved my own problem in two sentences ;-)

Mr. Loverman

Make sure you're doing the most you can to get the most out of your job. I found this advice good!

How to like your job

Do you dread going back to work after the weekend? Do you find it hard to get up in the morning? Your job needn't be doing this to you; by making some small changes in your personal and professional life you can greatly improve your attitude to work and even increase your chance of getting a promotion.

Start the day on the right note

A bad start to the day can affect your mood for hours, so make sure you start the day on the right note.

•Make sure you get enough sleep so you wake up feeling refreshed.
•Have a healthy breakfast (porridge, seeds, eggs, etc.) to replenish your energy levels.
•Give yourself enough time to have a shower and brush your teeth.
•Arrive into work early so you don't need to worry about getting disciplined for being late.
•If possible, go to the gym before work. You will feel great about yourself and there will be plenty of endorphins floating around your body keeping you in a good mood for hours! Also, no matter what happens during your day, at least you've been to the gym and have done something positive.

Have a nice work environment

Having a nice work environment will make a huge difference to your happiness. You spend most of your life at your job, so what not make the most of it?

•Make friends in work so you can have a bit of fun during the day, and have someone to talk to if you need to vent!
•Try to form a relationship with the people you don't get along with. This will probably be difficult, and will take some time, but getting rid of any "enemies" in your office will make you so much happier in your job.
•Get to know the management team so you can remove any "them and us" feelings. Not only will this make you more relaxed in your job, but it will increase your chances of getting a promotion or moving department.
•Wear nice clothes to work so you feel good about yourself during the day.
•Put some plants, playthings and photos of loved ones on your desk, so you have something nice to look at when you're not staring at your computer.

Avoid the moaners, avoid moaning

A bit of moaning every now and then is normal, but if you are moaning on a daily basis, or are the come to person for the office moaner, you are just going to develop a bad attitude towards your job. Regular moaning benefits no one.

Stop the cycle of dossing

The happiest people in work are those who work the hardest. Dossing makes you feel bad about your job, which makes you lose motivation, which makes you doss even more! Put in the effort to do a good days work and you will feel better about yourself and your job, as well as improve your chances of getting a promotion.

Save some of your salary

It is important you feel you are doing more than simply working to survive, so start saving some of your salary each month so you feel you are making financial progress.

Learn to switch off

You need to be able to switch off from work when you leave your office. Take up a sport, spend time with friends, or do whatever makes you happy so you can relax and enjoy life. Bringing your work into your home life will just burn you out.

Alcohol

Try not to drink alcohol on a work night. It is a known depressant which is guaranteed to affect your mood and motivation, and of course increases the chances of you coming into work late or doing a bad days work.

And finally...

If you have tried the above and you still hate your job, take a few days off to clear your head and to re-evaluate your situation. Maybe you are simply in the wrong job or on the wrong career path, or maybe you are suffering from depression. Try to keep perspective on life and remember your physical and mental health should always come first.

LegacyUser

OP here.

Do you know I've read, and re-read that post Mr. Loverman an I've realised I do almost the opposite of everything in it!
In my previous job, I would never have stepped in the door without make up on, dressed really well, had the hair done regularly etc - there were alot of people there (most of whom I'm still friends with) and it was important that I looked well.

In this job, there are days when no one would even know I was there so I have definitely allowed my personal appearance to slide. While I still dress well (sometimes), I havent worn make up to work in months, often don't bother washing my hair until every 2nd day (always wash it every day previously) etc etc, AND would often have a few glasses of wine during the week.

I'm going to have another read of that post - I'm going to print it off and stick it on my fridge and read it every morning - it makes sense.

Thanks.

Mr. Loverman

unregistered wrote: »

OP here.

Do you know I've read, and re-read that post Mr. Loverman an I've realised I do almost the opposite of everything in it!
In my previous job, I would never have stepped in the door without make up on, dressed really well, had the hair done regularly etc - there were alot of people there (most of whom I'm still friends with) and it was important that I looked well.

In this job, there are days when no one would even know I was there so I have definitely allowed my personal appearance to slide. While I still dress well (sometimes), I havent worn make up to work in months, often don't bother washing my hair until every 2nd day (always wash it every day previously) etc etc, AND would often have a few glasses of wine during the week.

I'm going to have another read of that post - I'm going to print it off and stick it on my fridge and read it every morning - it makes sense.

Thanks.

I'm really happy to hear that! I hope it works out for you and you cheer up a bit.

The advice is from http://www.dole.ie/how-to-like-your-job/

Penny Dreadful

unregistered wrote: »

OP here.

With respect, I hate that expression 'you're lucky to have a job'. There is no luck involved in a job that makes my health suffer, that makes me cry at least twice a week on my way in, or on my way home, that has me on the brink of heading to my GP for anti-ds. It's hard to explain my job - but it is of no value to anyone. I don't do anything that assists anyone...it's such a waste of money for everyone involved, and yet, it's a company that has millions in the bank and pays the guys at the top an enormous amount, and us plebbs at the bottom, a pittance.

I should have mentioned in my original post that I pay alot of childcare costs currently, as I have a long commute too (2.5hrs) and so am not home from work till after 7 most evenings. I have very little quality time with my child and even weekends are spent trying to catch up on the life I'm missing during the week. I earn just more than enough to qualify for fis.
I don't intend to 'use' the dole as a means to return to education - I am so close to walking away from my job day in/day out, and alot of the courses I've looked out only require you to be on the dole for 6 months. I don't think they're actualyl BTE stuff - it's more like the college is funding them (there's stuff at nci, for example). And although there would be a long wait for my payment, they wouldn't let me starve so I would get some payment.

I dunno - is my job more important that any quality of life???

I have a pal who is on lone parents, she minds a baby in the mornings, does a course in the evenings, will have her degree in the next year...seems to have it sewn up. Having said that, she is in social housing and pays 21pw for her rent to the local council...so I suppose it's not really comparable to my outgoings.....I'm so fed up.

Hi OP, I'd just like to say that your job is not worthless. You say that you work as a researcher in the medical field and that is a very important job. I work in that area too, granted in a hospital setting and so my end of things is different to yours, but that research makes a difference to a lot of people, patients, their families, the medical staff, etc etc. Don't think so poorly of it or yourself.

LegacyUser

Ok, I take your point.

But there is no value to what we are doing in my lifetime - we curently have at least 100 projects that are 'stuck' with no completion in sight - they will stay where they are for another twenty years until that section of the medical field progresses...We are also starting on about 50 projects over the next 3 months, all of which will also go 'on hold' until the next generation invent that one extra ingredient to make them work.

So while I get what you're saying, its difficult for me to see the value in exactly what I am doing now, or for at least 30yrs.

Even working in Tesco, you are providing a service...the local corner shop/the milk man/the bread man...all of them provide a very clear service to people....perhaps if I had a scientific mind and people talked to me in here, I'd be happier.!

Penny Dreadful

unregistered wrote: »

Ok, I take your point.

But there is no value to what we are doing in my lifetime - we curently have at least 100 projects that are 'stuck' with no completion in sight - they will stay where they are for another twenty years until that section of the medical field progresses...We are also starting on about 50 projects over the next 3 months, all of which will also go 'on hold' until the next generation invent that one extra ingredient to make them work.

So while I get what you're saying, its difficult for me to see the value in exactly what I am doing now, or for at least 30yrs.

Even working in Tesco, you are providing a service...the local corner shop/the milk man/the bread man...all of them provide a very clear service to people....perhaps if I had a scientific mind and people talked to me in here, I'd be happier.!

That part of this area we work in can be very frustrating and then when you least expect it an accidental discovery comes along that fast forwards the project you've been working on.
It seems to me that the general lack of interaction with the people you work with is the worst part of your working day. We all have good days and bad days at work and wonder what on earth we're doing but if we have a good group of people around us it gets you through. How about suggesting a work night out? Nothing too crazy I know you have a child and a commute to deal with, but an early bird dinner somewhere for the office staff could be the change of scene that allows people to open up and loosen up. It could change things a lot and make things easier for you.
Sometimes you have to look at a bad situation and ask yourself what can you do to make it better. If you're scared to try (and often it is scary as hell to try) and decide to walk away then you're giving in to it whereas if you try at least to improve it and nothing changes at least you've given it your best shot. Also you never know it could end up being the begining of a whole new attitude and atmosphere at work.

SerialComplaint

See http://www.askaboutmoney.com/showthread.php?t=140340&highlight=lpa