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Still mouring my father 16 years on ...Help

  • 30-08-2010 12:29am
    #1
    Irish-trucker
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 296 ✭✭


    Hi ,

    Its not my Father I'm posting about ,But Rather his/my uncle's own father ;I thought the title of the post would catch the eye of more people rather than a really long winded title.

    Anyway; To cut a long story short ...

    My uncle's Father died in 1994 , when he was 24 . He was extrememly depressed/grieved at the time , so much so, he recieved councelling on a few occasions in the following months after the bereavment.

    My Grandfather and uncle shared an interest ,In old machinery , in which they would have spent alot of time together in Finding ,collecting & restoring things.

    Fastforward to 2010, and i having never really known my granda ( i was 5 when he died ) have taken a considerable interest in his collection and begining to start my own , My uncle, father , cousins and I spend a lot of time around his stuff ,in his old shed .

    I was travelling down the country with my uncle alone last week , when he said to me that he really misses his father, that he wishes so much he could have got to know me and see the interest i have .
    In a way he's sort of half grieving/Half depressed ,and to be honest has'nt been 'himself' lately -Which is sort of how the conversation came up

    We had a good chat ,and i suggested that it would be no harm for him to have more counselling - It might help , and he said yes - But i know it has to be him alone that decides to go .

    Anyway , I normally would'nt post about these things , But is this common ? Still seriously missing a parent after so long ?

    Is there anything i can do to Help him , as I feel that its kind of me ,contributing to his grieving for his father .

    Is there any special sort of counselling he could get ?

    Sorry for the long winded post , Hopefully i might get some good info to discreetly slip under his nose ,and hopefully he might do something to help himself.

    Thanks,
    John


Comments

  • #2
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    John

    I spotted your post.

    Its something that has struck me lately as my aunt died recently and my family handle these things very badly. Something happened and I thought of my grandmother who has been dead 30 years -not something I do but it was something to do with gardening and changing shoes.

    Anyway , your uncle was a relatively young man when his Dad died and it must have been a real low time for him. My understanding is that when some gets depressed they can go to their low points as a reference point.

    So if your uncle is depressed -the death may be his focus. Seeing that you got him talking - maybe you should get him to go to his GP and get a medical and discuss it. Its not unusual for children to think they will die at the same age as their parents too.

    So if you get him talking again why not suggest that and even offer to go with him

    Best of luck

    CD


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