Too much grief kills

lifeistooshort

I've had enough....my mom and dad have died while I was young and now my baby boy who is only a teenager may be diagnised with cancer this week...I cant cope

eyeball kid

I can't imagine how hard it is for you but just because your parents died when you were young doesn't mean you boy will.
Hope all goes turns out well for you.

lifeistooshort

Thanks so much eyeball kid, but I've had to deal with my dad dying suddenly when he was only 50, and my mom dying at 60 after she was very positive battling cancer for 10 years. Once I heard that my son could die because of his possiblle cancer I knew what my familys chances were..the poor baby even said it himself..we never have any luck and our lives are finished, very little hope

storm2811

I'm really sorry to hear that,the best thing you can do now is try and stay positive,just hope for the best.
There's no point in thinking he won't be ok,just go on with your life and be as happy as you can with him,I know someone close to you having cancer is awful but just keep in mind that people do get rid of it.

Deki

So the diagnosis is not in. Try not to jump to conclusions just yet. Have been several diagnosis of cancer in my family. Two were given months to live but they are still here and it's been longer than the 5 year mark. If you can not cope please seek the help of a professional. Sometimes that's what we need.

eyeball kid

Of course its very hard to think straight when you hear news like this but you don't have the full information yet. There's really not much you can do until you
get the diagnosis. Try to stay positive.
Even if you get the worst news, talk to every doctor, get a second / third opinion, find out all the info you can, look at all your options and try to keep to
keep his spirits up.

LegacyUser

Thakns so much for the encouragement, its just that I watched my mom go through all the stages for ten years, I was so closely involved that I actually thought she would beat it but my husband said he walked into the ward where she was treated and knew how long she had left (jugding by other patients). If my darling son is diagnosed with this cancer, our life is put on hold again, as it was up to last year and from experience I know that the outcome is never good and that the most likely thing is that i will lose the only person that I love in this world.

LegacyUser

Thank you all so much

I know that the worst has not beeen confirmed and I will keep you all up to date as to how things go this week, but I really fear for the worst, my mom and dad both died young and my family have never have had any luck...every day since I found out out that my son might have cancer last week it seemed surreal...I asked the doctor again...I couldnt believe when he said maybe it could be malignant..I thought it should happen to someone else, we had had enough, but no apparently...it was my familys turn again...please pray or remember us in some way this awful week...

axel rose

Sometimes life heaps on too much crap onto one person. I'm so sorry to hear that you and your family are in this situation. If it is cancer and it is the same type of cancer that has been in your family, There may be fantastic new treatments that have been developed since the death of your parents.

There are no magic words, I really hope that you gather up all the positive mental attitude you can muster and to battle this and come out the other end.


Good luck to the three of ye op.

cats.life

lifeistooshort wrote: »

I've had enough....my mom and dad have died while I was young and now my baby boy who is only a teenager may be diagnised with cancer this week...I cant cope

you have coped with your mum and dad dying, you sound to be a strong person op, of course you are thinking the worst for your wonderfull son, what i want to say has being said by the other posters, i know of a family who has being blighted by very bad luck , like the dad dying by massive heartache years ago , by brother found him in the kitchen on the floor, his wife sufferd a breakdown then was in hospital for months cos of it. then things started to calm down ,now the wife has alzimers , her son (same age as me 43) died same as his dad did, recently her daughter who was looking after her died same as dad and brother, just hope the rest of the family are going to get tested for heart problems, another son had a stroke, his marriage broke after that. i have my fingers crossed for you op ok. yes there are familys who are dealt a raw deal why i dont know, its bloody cruel . let us know the out come of results .

Deki

lofeistooshort wrote: »

Thank you all so much

I know that the worst has not beeen confirmed and I will keep you all up to date as to how things go this week, but I really fear for the worst, my mom and dad both died young and my family have never have had any luck...every day since I found out out that my son might have cancer last week it seemed surreal...I asked the doctor again...I couldnt believe when he said maybe it could be malignant..I thought it should happen to someone else, we had had enough, but no apparently...it was my familys turn again...please pray or remember us in some way this awful week...

I will most definitely pray for your family and your son. Do let us know what is happening. My heart goes out to you. Life is sometimes very scary. If you feel like venting your anger go ahead - sometimes it's better to scream and cry and pound your fists into the wall than to keep it all inside, but try to keep a positive face in front of your son. I can only imagine what is going through his mind. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers.:)

lifeistooshort

I am really grateful to everyone for all of the support and advice, and reading what you have had to say has helped to keep me going over the past week. We are still waiting for test results but it all seems just a tiny bit easier this week. My son has been amazing, I never thought he would cope so well or so maturely with such terrifying news...he has coped so much better than me I think, although I have kept a brave face on in front of him. He is a true inspiration and I will never understand where he draws such strength from.

As you have all said I know that I should stay positive and I do so in front of my son, its only when I'm alone that I begin to think that we've been positive before with my Mom's cancer and she still died, I know its not the same thing but its always in the back of my mind...But I really hope and pray that we will be told by the consultant that he does not have cancer and that we can go back to our normal lives...whats sure is that I will never take anything for granted or waste any time worring about trivial things ever again.

lifeistooshort

I have the greatest possible news that I could deliver tonight, my little boy (he being cool would say teenage son!!) got the all clear from cancer today. We were so sure that that was his fate that I am really dumbstruck to learn that my lovely son is ok. My husband and me both felt physically sick for the last two weeks and I can honestly say that our lives have been changed forever and that money will never again hold the importance for us that it once did...I would have given up everything we had to ensure my little boys health. I really thought that we would have bad news again, Im the only girl in my parish of my age whose mom and dad are dead so young and I thought Id lose my son before most of my friends even became moms but Im so happy to say that he now has the rest of his life to look forward to

The Big Red Button

lifeistooshort wrote: »

I have the greatest possible news that I could deliver tonight, my little boy (he being cool would say teenage son!!) got the all clear from cancer today. We were so sure that that was his fate that I am really dumbstruck to learn that my lovely son is ok. My husband and me both felt physically sick for the last two weeks and I can honestly say that our lives have been changed forever and that money will never again hold the importance for us that it once did...I would have given up everything we had to ensure my little boys health. I really thought that we would have bad news again, Im the only girl in my parish of my age whose mom and dad are dead so young and I thought Id lose my son before most of my friends even became moms but Im so happy to say that he now has the rest of his life to look forward to

Fantastic news! So so very happy for you!

Storminateacup

I'm so happy to hear your son is ok, OP. I wish your family all the best in the future.

storm2811

That's fantastic, so happy to hear that!:)

Fittle

Wow, I am so very, very happy for you and your son OP. I had read your thread from the start, and was praying for both of you.

I am genuinely delighted for you. Take care of yourself and your son!

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

Deki

Hugs Lifeistooshort- Jumps up and down:)
Yay!!! I am so happy for you and your family. Hug your son and Hubby for me. I am so thankful this has ended so well:):pac::p

RhubarbCrumble

OP, that's FANTASTIC news! Really delighted to hear that your son is okay

La frog fairy

Hi,

I read your post and felt literally heartbroken for you, so i am absolutely delighted to hear your news and really happy, i am giving you a huge virtual hug and know that you have some friends here to talk to.
Always stay positive!

All the best

lifeistooshort

Thank you all so much for your good wishes, it has meant so much to my family that we have so much support. I am an only child so losing my Mom and Dad so young was so hard and the thought of losing my son was ther most difficullt thing I have ever gone through.

But we are so grateful that everything has turned out ok for once and my son has been amazing...he has gone back to school but he has matured so much and his whole outlook on life is different...I'd never want him to grow up too quickly but I have to say that I think that what has happened him over the past few months has changed him forever...he has matured more than most boys of his age. Sometimes I still feel sad that he has had to endure this, he was very close to both my parents as a child, as I had him when I was a teenager, and he was heartbroken at seeing them die so young and his own scare has changed his life path forever. I wish I could have protected him form this awful monster called cancer but I know that we have been so lucky this time and I will be eternally grateful that he is ok...I just wish that I could absorb all of his pain so that he felt none of all that has happened. Does that makes sence?? Thanks for all of the support

its postings like this that make u all happy inside

KittyeeTrix

Delighted to read your good news OP......We too had to wait for almost 2 weeks a few years to discover if my then 7 yr old daughter had cancer in her femur bone. It was a terrible time but like yourselves we were very relieved to hear it was not cancer but a massive bone infection (osteomylitis).

Best wishes for your lad for the future...:)

lifeistooshort

Hi everyone

Its been almost 6 months since I posted last and found out my lovely teenage boy didn't have cancer...I will never forget those few weeks of worry and waiting for the results and the help that I received form all of you, I am still eternally grateful for everything ye did for me...I said here at the time that if he was ok I would never worry about anything else ever again, but to tell the truth that has not happened. The shock we got means that if he has a cough/ cold etc I totally over-react and worry he may be dying (totally over-the-top reaction I know logically, but I can't help it-I'm driving myself insane!!) I feel as if I've lost forever the security that my son is healthier than me and will live longer simply by virtue of the fact that he is younger, and although I know that it is never guaranteed that a child will outlive his parents, I'm now at the stage that I'm worrying all the time about my little boy.

I'm sorry for having to bother all of you again with what should be such a trivial problem compared to what some of you face...

axel rose

Hey, if it worries you then it isn't trivial. You've been through the mill and of course the experience will leave scars. I have the same thoughts with my son. If my husband can be taken then so can he.

But I cannot change the circumstances that are outside my control. My job is to look after his needs and love him. It's the best I can do- in fact it's all I can do.

I say this tentatively- but you may need to consider speaking to a counselor to work all this out.

lifeistooshort

axel rose wrote: »

Hey, if it worries you then it isn't trivial. You've been through the mill and of course the experience will leave scars. I have the same thoughts with my son. If my husband can be taken then so can he.

But I cannot change the circumstances that are outside my control. My job is to look after his needs and love him. It's the best I can do- in fact it's all I can do.

I say this tentatively- but you may need to consider speaking to a counselor to work all this out.

Thank you so much axel rose for the reply,...my little boy was admitted to hospital again today...I really knew that something was not right...I should have known better...query cancer again, and ironically I did not know it was 6 months when I posted last weekend. I got so much help here the last time that I shouldn't really ask for it again, I'm not sure what is wrong but they have told us that our now 17 year old son may have cancer and I dread the implications for his dad, me and him:( So sad

axel rose

oh god, I really hope that all will be right.

I really hope you that the hospital will give you answers......will you let us know. I'm wishing all will be alright.

KittyeeTrix

*Hugs to yo OP*
Thinking of you and hoping all will turn out okay:)

RhubarbCrumble

Oh hun, I don't know what to say, just huge ((hugs)). Remember it all turned out okay last time, so hopefully will be the same this time too.

elbee

OP, when I saw this thread bumped again I was hoping it wasn't bad news. Thoughts are with you and your son. I hope you get the answers you want.

lifeistooshort

My heartfelt thanks to you all again for your loving support. I have so little to report it makes me worry, they don't really know what is wrong and most of the time he feels ok. Cancer is always in the back of my mind though as I know he would never exaggerate his symptoms, and I'm worried he might be playing down what is wrong with him. Until last August I've never even thought of how I'd cope if my only son fell ill and I really think I'm doing such a bad job I'm no help to him (I'm very worried all of the time, its obvious to everyone and I cant help it...)

eyeball kid

Well, it sounds like ye don't really know whats wrong him again.
Easier said than done, but try no to expect the worst at this stage. Wait until you get confirmation one way or the other, then at least you'll know what your options are. Hope it all works out for ye.

lifeistooshort

Hi

Its almost a year, only 3 days short since I first posted last year, and life has been a real rollercoaster since...when I decided on the title for the thread 'too much grief kills' I really thought my little boy would be diagnosed with cancer because of our family history and bad luck generally. We got over that and he was declared cancer free, only to have problems with his health, cancer query...etc come up again last April. I really found it hard to cope with the second blow in April and am sorry that I have not posted for so long, but thank God again it was a false alarm (its easy to say now, but I couldn't bring myself to write it down until now, in case someone would tell me I was mistaken and he was not cancer free...) He is going back for his one year review next week, he does not have the dreaded cancer thank God and he is looking forward to sitting his Leaving Cert this year...thank you all for your support, grief is such a powerful emotion, I lost both my Mom and Dad young, and although I'm so happy that my son has his full health, I still truly believe that sometimes grief and sadness over the loss of our loved ones causes us such heartbreak that it would kill us if we did not have a platform such as boards on which to share our miseries and pains...

Thank you all for the support

liferealllyistooshort

Deki

I am just relieved to know he is doing well. I believe stress is a major factor in quite a few illnesses. Sometimes our emotions take over and just snowball on us. Best to rejoice for what we have than to rehash what might have been. Here is hoping joy and long life to you and yours!

jos28

Delighted to hear the good news. It must be a huge relief to you all. I wish you all a healthy, happy and stress free future.

KittyeeTrix

Great news OP

RhubarbCrumble

Delighted to hear that your son is okay OP That's great news.

LIkewise delighted for you. You recieved the greatest gift possible. The health of your child.

lifeistooshort

Thank you all so much for your good wishes, they really mean a lot to me, my husband and my son.