Not sure what he's thinking...

LegacyUser

I'll keep this very brief - i was in the UK for a few months working, couple of weeks before I left I met a guy, and we spent pretty much every evening together, talked lots etc - when I was leaving I asked him what the story was gonna be - I wasnt asking him if we were officially going out or anything cos i think that wouldve been too soon, i just wanted to know if he wanted to keep in touch. So he said yeah defo (he'd sent me quite a lot of very enthusiastic texts about how much he liked me etc while i was there), and that he'd come over here to visit. he was in the middle of changing jobs so i didnt really expect him to be great at keeping touch for a while - for the first week or so we talked every day then both of us had a very busy week this week, still been talking 3 or 4 times, via text. I should add here, hes very VERY bad with girls, by his own admission, and hasn't really had a girlfriend for longer than a few weeks in the past from what i gather. He's made 2 or 3 references to coming over, but nothing concrete. He's not great at texting - was the same when i was over there - but it kinda sucks when i can't see him.

Not a cocky/arrogant guy in the least. he was a bit drunk last night and we were texting, and he came out with this cracking text "On a scale of one to ten, how in love with me are you?" This from the guy who used the L word while drunk the night after I met him! Now I don't love him at all - I like him, he's lovely, and defo if we were in the same country, I've no doubt we'd be going out at this stage. So I sort of laughed it off, as best u can via text, saying he'd obviously been drinking and I liked his drunk texts, they reminded me of all our random chats blah blah blah, i was pretty nice about it! If he was a different kind of guy i wouldve seen that as obnoxious, but he's a head-in-the-clouds awkward type of guy, really into his sciency stuff and not living in reality half the time (My type ladies and gentlemen, my type! :P) and it was either a joke, or a really bad opener to discussing stuff.

He hasnt texted me today, which is grand, he does take a loooooong time to reply - my question is, what is going on in his head? My mates say he obviously still likes me if hes still texting, especially given that it costs more when we're in different countries etc, plus he did make a big effort with my friends when they came to visit, buying them drinks n chatting, even though hes super shy - i dunno why hes being so tentative about telling me if hes coming over, and I don't know how he really properly feels - when i tried to talk about feelings in person (i never wud normally ater 2 weeks, but i felt like i needed to know where we stood a lil bit before i left the country), he was horrific at it, so i can only imagine how that chat would go via text or in a phone call. I dont wanna come across as crazy - if he doesnt come over im not gonna be heartbroken at all, i just dont wanna mess this up by assuming he's playing games and just still in touch for his own amusement.....can someone help me to formulate this into a coherent thought process and tell me what to do!?

Ickle Magoo

If you know the guy and don't know what he's thinking then we have no chance.

He could have been drunk & having a laugh, looking for an ego trip, fishing for info, seeing how interested you are - who knows? I find texts impossible to read for tone or intent - perhaps call him? You're going to have to find out if there is more to it than the odd text anyway and voices are much easier to read for tone than texts.

Best of luck.

ApeXaviour

In terms of his being rubbish at talking about feelings I'd not let that bother you, especially at this early stage. Judge how he's feeling based on actions not words. Get an answer out of him in terms of coming over, he might just need a little push. "So when are you gonna pay me a visit ?". He can get a Sail&Rail return ticket from almost anywhere in the UK for <£60 I believe, so it could be a spur of the moment Saturday morning thing. I'm sure you're well aware how ryanair operates. UK is close enough that you could easily see eachother at least once a fortnight, each of you catching a flight to see the other once a month.
Anyway if you get a straight answer from him you'll know he has honest intentions, if not then he might not; though for what it's worth I don't get the impression he's messing you around.

LegacyUser

Cheers! isn't it silly that I just need someone impartial to judge it and tell me what I'm sure if i used my cop on i'd work out! i'm really bad at this stuff myself, and really afraid of putting myself out there by calling him or anything, even though, in reality, whats the worst that could happen!

ApeXaviour

Overthinking is endemic in people with any kind of IQ... so it's hard to be objective. ie most of use are like that and I wouldn't beat yourself up about it.

You can call him out on things in mildly subtle/playful ways (eg how I phrased it above) so you don't come accross demanding/nagging/controlling/desperate etc. It's been done on me enough and I can quite respect the little nudge. It leaves you (or him in this case) a little more confident in what he's doing, and with a way out without having to resort to the ego-crushing "NO". If he hums and haws, or is very vague it likely means his heart isn't fully in it.