Is it a good idea?

LegacyUser

Basically to cut a long story short I was going out with a fella for 3 years it was pretty serious but then I kissed another person, told him & he broke up with me - fair enough.

Myself and my boyfriend broke up but for a few weeks afterwards we were kind of on and off, first he wanted to get back with me and I didnt want to and then I wanted to get back with him and he didn't want to.

Within a week of us being properly finished he started seeing someone else and 25 days after our proper breakup he asked her out & they are now a couple. I was very upset as we had always been close and I thought he would atleast tell me that he was going to ask her out or stay in contact with me, but no he has completely ignored me.

Aside from that the fella that I kissed and I have stayed friendly enough, he's a person I have known for years. He has recently asked me would I be interested in a bit of fun and what harm could it do. All I really know is that I'm confused, I want to have a bit of fun but I don't want to end up feeling used & I think thats how it could end up.

Any advice? Thanks

LegacyUser

Thanks for the reply!

Seriously guys, 155 views & only one person can offer me advice?

miec

Seriously guys, 155 views & only one person can offer me advice?

Thats the nature of boards.

However in response to your issue, it sounds like you are all over the place. Did you ever figure out why you kissed another guy?

If you want fun then in my opinion have it but only if you are emotionally free enough to do so, it be that you are not. No one can use you unless you allow it. When two people have sex for fun both of them are either 1) having sex and fun or 2) using each other. I do not subscribe to the whole 'a man used me for sex' it just doesn't cut with me, it is a two way thing. You may be afraid of having casual sex because of others opinions, or you are not ready for that or maybe sex means more to you, only you know. Go with what feels right for you.

LegacyUser

miec wrote: »

However in response to your issue, it sounds like you are all over the place. Did you ever figure out why you kissed another guy?

I think unsubconsciously I wanted my relationship to end, I know it was wrong but it's too late to change that now.

The reason why I am confused as to how I feel is because my ex boyfriend is the only person I have had sex with ever. I don't really know who I am, I think I want fun but do I really?

I understand it's a two way thing but I don't know whether I will end up feeling used or how I will feel. Confusion is really the issue

katie99

There must not have been much between you if your bf broke it off because you kissed another guy!
I mean you dind't have to tell him. The fact you did showed how much you respected your bf and you wanted to be honest with him.
That honesty and resepct didn't merit him breaking it off with you.

Anyway, I would have fun now you are single again. I wouldn't worry about not having had sex with other people. Lots of guys and girls are in that situation. You will find that people who brag about the number of guys or girls they have slept with tend to say more than their prayers.

So enjoy yourself, you are free, take your time. Let go of your ex, now he has a new gf.

miec

Hi Op

I can understand that, personally if I was in your shoes I would wait a while, maybe get some idea of who you are before you sleep with someone else, I think it can be daunting to get into the whole bed scenario just after a break up. Once you feel better in yourself maybe you can be clearer in your head about having fun.

Ickle Magoo

help18 wrote: »

Thanks for the reply!

Seriously guys, 155 views & only one person can offer me advice?

I find your post quite hard to understand, it's full of boyfriends and break ups but it's quite hard to follow who is who and what is happening with whom - perhaps that explains the view to reply ratio?

If you don't know what you want and you think you are confused then the best thing you can do is steer clear of relationships until you've worked out what it is you want and from whom. If you even think you are going to end up feeling used then there is no point getting involved, only get involved with someone when you are really excited about it and/or know it's what you really want and is worth risking your heart and pride for.

Best of luck.

piotro2

Fun does not need to mean sex. Sex is fun but it's so temporary. Take some time first. Sleeping around is easy but in the end you might just regret the whole thing.

LegacyUser

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I find your post quite hard to understand, it's full of boyfriends and break ups but it's quite hard to follow who is who and what is happening with whom - perhaps that explains the view to reply ratio?

Thanks for the replies thus far..

Just to clear things up I'll give names to the 2 people involved in this situation - Liam & John.

Ok, I was going out with Liam for 3 years, we both knew John. John & I kissed. I told Liam, Liam broke up with me. In the weeks following the break up me & Liam were on and off although broken up, I thought we were going to get back together but that didn't happen and he went off with another girl - they are now going out.

Liam & I have stayed friends, he has recently asked me am I interested in fun. I know nobody can know how I feel but I'm just confused. Do I want fun, am I going to get hurt. I know I don't want a relationship and neither does he but am I just okay with sleeping with someone. I really don't know what to say.. I hope my post is a bit clearer now.. any advice appreciated.

Zen65

help18 wrote: »

All I really know is that I'm confused, I want to have a bit of fun but I don't want to end up feeling used & I think thats how it could end up.

Any advice? Thanks

Well if you think that's how it will end up, you're probably right.

If you're confused about it, why not leave it be and think about it again some time when you're less confused?

Be at peace,


Z

LegacyUser

You cheated on your bf. He broke up with you. He was then free to do whatever he wanted which happened to be seeing someone else. You have zero control over him as you cheated. He is doing the right thing by not talking to you anymore. Why would he want to have contact with you when he's now happy and possibly in love with someone else.
You made your bed and now you have to lie in it.
Lying in it alone for now is probably the best thing you can do.

LegacyUser

girl4life2 wrote: »

You cheated on your bf. He broke up with you. He was then free to do whatever he wanted which happened to be seeing someone else. You have zero control over him as you cheated. He is doing the right thing by not talking to you anymore. Why would he want to have contact with you when he's now happy and possibly in love with someone else.
You made your bed and now you have to lie in it.
Lying in it alone for now is probably the best thing you can do.

Eh, bit harsh? Ya I'm not complaining, I know I deserved to be broken up with but pardon me if I thought 20 days was a bit rash to start going out with someone else after you've been with someone for 3 years and he seriously messed me around in those 20 days.

And I always had "zero control" over him, I don't try and control anyone whether I'm in a relationship or not.