Has been a parent what you expected?

astra2000

Hi all well to answer my own question as of yet it has not been as hard as I would have though when I was a mere on looker. Things will probably get more difficult as teenage years kick in. I have 3 healthy children so obviously it is easier for me than for a parent of children with special needs. Of course there are days when I feel like tearing my hair out and I am sick of the sound of my own nagging voice but on the whole I did expect it to be harder. What are your experiences is it the hardest thing you have ever done or did you adapt seamlessly?
Just to add I am enjoying it more than I would ever have thought possible.

Ickle Magoo

I didn't really have any expectations. Neither of mine were planned and when I found out I was expecting I was terrified as I'd never, ever seen myself as the parenting type.

I found it fairly horrendous to start with, if I'm being honest - from complicated pregnancies, hospitalisation, emergency sections & issues with both babies that have resolved but caused a lot of stress and sleepless nights en route. Its definitely getting easier & more enjoyable as they get older. I really didn't enjoy the baby years at all, when they became toddlers I was still at home and so bored that I thought I could actually feel my brain melting. I got a job and started a degree, they went to montesorri and with that balance and them a bit older & going to/starting school, I now really enjoy parenting. :cool:

CathyMoran

I had no expectations either - our son was planned and very much wanted but I am the youngest of two and have limited experience of children. I had miscarried several times so the pregnancy was scary as well as very physically draining on me but I loved the kicks so much. He is only 20 weeks old today but I love my little son, every little thing that he does including sleeping fascinates me. Have been old that he is very placid but I love playing with him, talking with him, reading books to him and getting his reaction. He also looks very like his daddy when he was a baby which is brilliant. I should have been a nursery teacher, I love children and would love to have more.

Bill2673

Lods of people went on about how hard it would be......"you'll never sleep again" blah-de-blah.....

Not many people said how much fun it would be.

As for my own expectations, I found it very hard to conceptualise it or imagine it before the first child arrived to be honest. But it was defo more fun than I expected. Its like a having a new best friend.

Kimono-Girl

Bill2673 wrote: »

Lods of people went on about how hard it would be......"you'll never sleep again" blah-de-blah.....

Not many people said how much fun it would be.

As for my own expectations, I found it very hard to conceptualise it or imagine it before the first child arrived to be honest. But it was defo more fun than I expected. Its like a having a new best friend.

i completely agree!! you took the words right out of my mouth!

i wouldn't change Emma for anything she just amazing, and the best thing i ever did in my life!

stovelid

The pleasures of it have been unexpected though I had some notion - albeit romanticized - of it, but not of the intensity of it.

The stress, hard work and anxiety was pretty unexpected too and it's given me an added perspective on things like the workloads that stay-home parents or single mums have to contend with, not to mention being far more understanding of things like people trying to control stroppy toddlers in public.

cynder

Yep, and i love it, have had loads of hard days and many more too come, some days its a fight to get whats best for my kids. I think i always new being a parent has its hard days but the rewards out-way the hard days by far.

My eldest(almost 11) has almost died twice and is a insulin dependent diabetic, which means trips to limerick hospital and doctors, it also means travelling to Dublin every 3 months and overnights, even a tummy bug could kill her and she has to be hospitalized if she vomits twice in three hours. She looks like me but has her dads personality so she can be a handful.

My middle guy (5) is very like me as a child, quite, shy and timid so i know where he is coming from.

My little guy (3) has appointments every week sometimes twice a week, he has a few issues but nothing that speech therapy and psychology wont help and the early intervention educator. Im very optimistic about his outcome.

I am worried that my 2 boys will end up with diabetes but at least now i know what to look for.

CathyMoran

grindelwald wrote: »

Yep, and i love it, have had loads of hard days and many more too come, some days its a fight to get whats best for my kids. I think i always new being a parent has its hard days but the rewards out-way the hard days by far.

My eldest(almost 11) has almost died twice and is a insulin dependent diabetic, which means trips to limerick hospital and doctors, it also means travelling to Dublin every 3 months and overnights, even a tummy bug could kill her and she has to be hospitalized if she vomits twice in three hours. She looks like me but has her dads personality so she can be a handful.

My middle guy (5) is very like me as a child, quite, she and timid so i know where his coming from.

My little guy (3) has appointments every week sometimes twice a week, he has a few issues but nothing that speech therapy and psychology wont help. Im very optimistic about his outcome.

I am worried that my 2 boys will end up with diabetes but at least now i know what to look for.

I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at the age of 10 - I really think that it was more scary for my parents than me and has not stopped me in life and I have become a mother. I do have health issues but they are nothing to do with my diabetes. I do not consider it the worst thing to have though I will keep an eye on my son.

I am having so much fun with my son, sure I hate the fact that he occasionally gets pain from teething and I was very upset when tummy time today did not go to plan but I love every second with my son.

astra2000

grindelwald wrote: »

Yep, and i love it, have had loads of hard days and many more too come, some days its a fight to get whats best for my kids. I think i always new being a parent has its hard days but the rewards out-way the hard days by far.

My eldest(almost 11) has almost died twice and is a insulin dependent diabetic, which means trips to limerick hospital and doctors, it also means travelling to Dublin every 3 months and overnights, even a tummy bug could kill her and she has to be hospitalized if she vomits twice in three hours. She looks like me but has her dads personality so she can be a handful.

My middle guy (5) is very like me as a child, quite, she and timid so i know where his coming from.

My little guy (3) has appointments every week sometimes twice a week, he has a few issues but nothing that speech therapy and psychology wont help. Im very optimistic about his outcome.

I am worried that my 2 boys will end up with diabetes but at least now i know what to look for.

You sound so positive despite having so many extra worries about your children. Your kids are lucky to have a mum who will fight for there needs. I wish you and your family the best of luck and next time I open my mouth to complain I will think of you and close it again!

cynder

astra2000 wrote: »

You sound so positive despite having so many extra worries about your children. Your kids are lucky to have a mum who will fight for there needs. I wish you and your family the best of luck and next time I open my mouth to complain I will think of you and close it again!

You have to be positive and take the good with the bad, there are many more people out there with kids that have more serious and life threatening and life altering conditions.

Also to say that my daughter hates being diabetic and trying to keep her optimistic is hard as there are so many things that can go wrong - kidney failure, limb amputation and going blind. We try to take control and make her realise there are consequences if she doesn't do as the consultant tells her and we are trying to give her more freedom to make choices about her diabetes, (food insulin and carb counting and keeping a diary which she hates) we are trying to train her how to look after the diabetes herself which will possibly happen fully by the time she is 15. Fingers crossed we train her well.

* thanx for your kind comments

The_Conductor

grindelwald wrote: »

Also to say that my daughter hates being diabetic and trying to keep her optimistic is hard as there are so many things that can go wrong - kidney failure, limb amputation and going blind. We try to take control and make her realise there are consequences if she doesn't do as the consultant tells her and we are trying to give her more freedom to make choices about her diabetes, (food insulin and carb counting and keeping a diary which she hates) we are trying to train her how to look after the diabetes herself which will possibly happen fully by the time she is 15. Fingers crossed we train her well.

Hi Grindelwald (love your username- I worked in Grindelwald for a few months as a student, it was one of my better assignments as a forestry student!),

I think its great that you're trying to equip your daughter with the knowledge to be responsible for her own medical condition.

I know what its like having to give children regular injections, alongside blood tests etc- I would caution however, that looking at the worse case scenarios on an ongoing basis, is for both your sake and that your daughter, not the most psychologically healthy way of dealing with a long term illness. I am fully aware of the implications of poorly controlled diabetes (I have a cousin who is only now in her 20s who has an amputated foot)- however as illnesses go, once your daughter becomes disciplined in her approach to her condition- there is absolutely no reason why it should be a limiting factor in her life. Learning about diabetes is an important thing for her- but even more important is learning how to live without her diabetes dictating her every decision.

Self discipline is key for children who are faced with life long conditions such as an insulin dependency- but we have to remember that they are still children and deserve to be treated as children, first and foremost.

Best wishes to your daughter,

Shane

cynder

To be honest Im terrified that she will either go blind, need a kidney transplant or have a limb amputated. I try and help her but some days she is very stroppy and doesn't want to know. She would like to forget she is diabetic but she cant.

Im keeping healthy (very very little alcohol, no fags) so if she does ever need a kidney she can have mine fingers crossed im a match if needs be.


I do give her freedom though, she is in Dublin at the moment with her aunt she is up there for 4 days. She also is allowed ice cream here and there but she sure as hell overdid it on holidays in France.....


*went to grindelwald with the children to lapland appeal, met many families there who made my life look like a holiday compared to theirs.....

karla

LegacyUser

I have one child and am a single parent. I'll be honest and say I found the first year the most difficult year of my life. I had no expectations either, although I had alot of experience of babies previously. However, I had no idea about the dependency this new human being would have on me and the fact that there was no one else in this world who was responsible for his survival, but me!!! I remember being very overwhelmed by it and although I didn't suffer with pnd, I certainly was very depressed and struggling to find how I could ever accept this parenting thing, and yet all the while, loving the child with all my heart.

Roll on a few years, and I now love parenting. I found when he was able to understand me, and me him, that things became much easier. And once he started school, that opened up a whole other world to me. I have no clue what I did before he was born, and as someone else said, he's my best little pal :-)

I love parenting now, and if you could give birth to a 5yr old, I'd have at least 3 more kids...but to do the 'baby years' all over again? Not a hope!

Das Kitty

Only 6 months in so not a massive amount of experience just yet!

I never really imagined too much apart from vague ideas about cuddling on the sofa and reading with him.

I haven't been surprised by too much except for how hard the first couple of weeks are. It was literally the hardest time of my life by miles. You know you're not going to sleep but the reality of it was so much more extreme than I could have imagined. I almost drove away one day.

Then I remembered everyone saying "you'll never sleep again" and I wanted to die! THEN... he just started sleeping very suddenly. So I was surprised by this too! A wonderful surprise!

Then you get all the guff from people telling you that you'll never have the time to do anything for yourself anymore. I was delighted that isn't true. In fact I'm way more efficient so I get loads done.

Kalimah

I suppose it was what I expected to a certain extent. I think I've had it easy compared to my mother. My 4 are easy children and turning into easy adults. We've been incredibly lucky.

Deliverance

Love it, best thing that ever happened to me. Not as hard as I thought it would be and it has given me a new lease of life that I never knew I had.

angelfire9

I can honestly say I hadn't any real expectations as I was the youngest of my siblings and the first to have kids and really I was terrified I'd never even changed a nappy before our daughter was born!!

This time I'm alot more relaxed i know what to expect (kinda) having a 9 year gap means I've probably forgotten the worst bits

our daughter had problems with her tonsils and had a tonsillectomy (sp?) at 3years that was scary I was the type who refused to bring her for vaccinations and either her dad or my mum did them as I hated to see her hurt.

I'm at 23 weeks now and have started to re arrange the house already because I was SO unorganised last time simply because I didn't know what to expect!

Kids can be HARD work but the rewards more than make up for it!!