Emigrating anxiety

LegacyUser

Hi,

A little about my situation:

I will be emigrating to the UK to start a job in September. It is a good role, with good prospects. But I am starting to get anxious about the move. My ideal destination was London, but sadly this job is outside (1hr+) of London :-/ I am also moving over on my own, and cannot help but be worried about everything. I know that this is all probably just nerves before moving, but I just cannot shake them at the moment. My girlfriend will be staying in Ireland for the foreseeable future. One part of me is telling me I'm making the right move, the other part is telling me otherwise. I know it's not far away, but it is still a different country.

Does anyone have any advice? Or want to share their stories of moving?

LegacyUser

I would be excited if I were you OP! I mean its a good job and its an hour away from London, and not far from your girlfriend in fairness! If you really wanted you could go home every weekend or you could alternate weekends?
consider yourself lucky to get a good job that isn't too far away!
Everyone gets nervous before a big move its completely natural so just know that.
Also the worst that can happen is you won't like it and iin that case sure you can always come home!! But nothing ventured nothing gained!

r3nu4l

Hey Andy, luckily for you there's quite a few boardsies who have made the hop across the water to England. I'm outside London myself

My wife (then my gf) moved over a couple of months before me and found it to be tough initially but she made some good friends in her workplace and within a few weeks she was having a ball. I moved over then in August 2004 but I was working in London and commuting from Cambridge. The job I had required long hours so that plus the commute (trains delayed at least twice a week) nearly killed me. I hated my job and hated the commute.

However, I then got a job just outside Cambridge and my life changed overnight. All of a sudden I had time for hobbies and socialising and life improved dramatically. So I would recommend that you find somewhere to live that isn't too far from where you work. That way when you get home in the evening you can go out for a pint or whatever.

If you decide at some stage to use your proper boards.ie account, go to the Living abroad forum and look for boardsies in your area The London crowd have beers regularly but I've never managed to get to one yet. Unfortunately boards.org.uk doesn't exist anymore and the boardsgroup site will soon be gone as well so the Living Abroad forum is the place to go.

Whatever you do, enjoy the adventure. There are some excellent places to visit all over England, Bath, the Peak District, Cambridge (:p) and others. Loads of National Trust properties to visit too
Good luck.

zxcvbnm1

Op - coincidentally I too am moving to London next week completely by myself not knowing anyone there. I too am a bit anxious. But I know after a couple of weeks I will settle in as will you.

It's natural to focus on the negatives before you move. Try to focus on the positives.

Inevitably you will be grand once you get used to it.

freakmagnet

I'd say you are doing what i often do.. and are getting 10 steps ahead of yourself. Why not think about it like this... if it doesn't work out, you can come back ANY time you like - within an hour! Of course it will work out, but thinking it like that, slows you down, and lets you take it one step at a time. At the moment, you are looking at the mountain... big move, new job, new country.. forever! You should be just thinking one day into the future for the time being - and calm your anxiety by saying, if it doesn't work out, i'll nip home... all of a sudden its a molehill..!

whirlpool

I moved over in April. It was only for three months, but the specific situation I was in had me feeling completely like a total fish out of water, and not just because I had moved abroad on my own but for other reasons too.

The first week, I can honestly say, felt like the worst week of my life. I can't tell you how depressed and alone I felt.

In the end, it was the best decision I ever made.

Your feelings are totally normal and to be expected. Trust me, you will be absolutely fine.

LegacyUser

Im emigrating too ... to a different part of ireland. Yes its a four and a half hour drive. I am nervous that it wont work out and as someone else mentioned i can always come home but that is last thing i want. I will be going to college and terrified of going back, moving to a new place not knowing any one, and not finding a part time job. Is it normal to feel this way when moving to a different county?

Wisco

I moved to a new place on my own a number of years ago- the first while was tough- getting used to a new country, knowing no one, etc- but I got stuck in to my job and after getting a bit settled in I joined the local football club and made loads of friends. So I'd advise joining a local club or group to meet people. THere's no doubt the first weeks, or even months, can be tough, but you will get through it and especially if it's work you're keen on you'll be fine. And after all, it's only a short flight or ferry back to Ireland for a holiday!

Zoolander1

Starting something new is always a daunting experience, be it school, college or a new job. I recall getting plenty of advice when I was starting college/jobs but my attitude then was kinda.....'Well, easy for you to say. You don't have to go and do it'. Same thing when I moved abroad for a period of time. For weeks I could think of nothing else and began to see nothing but negatives about the whole thing.

But all you can do is be open-minded, throw yourself into it and make an effort. Sure it's tough and there'll be days where you might think, 'What the hell am I doing here?...but these things ahave a habit of working themselves out and usually when you look back the positives outweigh the negatives.

Good luck, hope it works out for you.

I've done it several times and it's worked out. I just want to say that you should be prepared for the 'low period' to set in 2-3 weeks after you arrive. At first, the sense of novelty and all the stuff that's not available at home keeps the loneliness away, but once that starts to wear off, prepare to feel a bit low. It's normal. Usually once you really get into the swing of things and start making friends, it's grand. I'd say it takes at least a good 3 or 4 months to really settle in properly so don't beat yourself up if it's not happening as quickly as you hoped.