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My history Plus Questions

  • 17-08-2010 8:43pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I was friends with a girl a few months back (we were set up) but i thought too much of herand i was holding hands , hugging her too much buying her stuff in gerneral i thought she was the one for me but it turned out to be. PLus i had sucidel thoughs in my head and siad in pure anger to someone that i will kill myself if i lost her. She got uncomterble about all this but i did not know i was doing the kind of stuff and she mailed me saying i made her feel uncomterble and she did not like that i was buying so much stuff ,holding hands etc. I never got the chance to talk to her in person again because she would not meet up with me and i lost my head one day and left a message saying please dont hate me and we never spoke on msn, phone, in person again because she blocked me. My family have siad not to call her again i know her sisters/brothers hate me, she absolulty dispises me but i just want to say im sorry for the whole friendship we had, i didnt mean to be so clingy, i was in a bad state mentally and i would never ever ever hug her, hold hands,buy her stuff , be a creep again. I looked at her msn accout a while back and she siad ' she doesent like creeps' and i knw the creep was a reference to me. It all happend months ago but the pain is still there and the word creep is in my head. I want to see her again, i but im so so so scared of doing it and cant trust texts or emails.

    IM scard im going to see her out one night or one day in town im out and i just want to say to her im sorry about the past and just want to say best of luck and no hard feelings. The last time ive seen her was last winter. IF I SEE HER OUT WHAT DO I DO ?? GO UP AND TRY AND TALK TO HER OR JUST TRY AND THINK SHES DEAD TO ME (Like i am to her)

    I know she has more friends now probly a boyfriend, im very happy for her, she has a lot coming up for her and shes going to meet many new people.

    Im gone though a bit of help over what happend with family members but i feel the only way i can get better is if i see her again. I hate people telling me she might come up to you one day and talk to you but it wont happen (false hope). shes scared of me.

    IF I SEE HER OUT WHAT DO I DO ?? GO UP AND TRY AND TALK TO HER OR JUST TRY AND THINK SHES DEAD TO ME (Like i am to her).

    I just have this feeling that i might never find someone because i was so clingy with this girl and god will punish me forever.

    I apolziged to myself for being such a fool back then and i will never do anything like it again.

    Has anybody else gone through an expericne like mine ??



    WIll god punish me for my sins and i might never have a relationship again.


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