Don't do that when I'm in the room!

Scráib

I was staying in a guesthouse last night, I had a single room with two single beds. Anyway I offered one of the lads the spare bed.

Later on anyway we both collapse into the beds. I'm dozing for about 5 minutes, then from the other bed I hear this 'pat-pat-pat' noise and yer man is breathing pretty heavily: The son of a b*tch is whacking off in the room when he thinks I'm asleep! I couldn't believe it! Eventually he gets up, goes to the bathroom and then comes out and finally goes to sleep!

Next morning, nothing. He's all smiles, unaware that I know and also that I'm going to cane him with this the first chance I get. I am going to nail him to the wall with this, filthy fecker.

Leeg17

Blackmail him OP. It'll be fap-tastic.

bazmaiden

Maybe he was thinking about you?

Gummy Panda

maybe he was waiting for you to say "need a hand with that"

FearDark

Imagination ****? Takes reall skill.

WIZE

lol OP

He was looking at you while ****

think about it next time you meet him

fap fap fap

bonerm

bazmaiden wrote: »

Maybe he was thinking about you?

Was 'bout to say the same thing.

OP you clearly inspired him. Maybe you could share a bed next time.

Redlion

OP, does this technically make you gay, considering you were in the same room?

Hmmm, i'll leave you to ponder that thought.

Pace2008

Redlion wrote: »

OP, does this technically make you gay, considering you were in the same room?

Hmmm, i'll leave you to ponder that thought.

How the **** would it make him gay?

I'm going to cane him

I am going to nail him to the wall

I think you might want to fúck your friend.

Redlion

Pace2008 wrote: »

How the **** would it make him gay?

Social Conventions! as set down by me, so that the OP may question his sexual identity!

ejmaztec

Scráib wrote: »

I was staying in a guesthouse last night, I had a single room with two single beds. Anyway I offered one of the lads the spare bed.

Later on anyway we both collapse into the beds. I'm dozing for about 5 minutes, then from the other bed I hear this 'pat-pat-pat' noise and yer man is breathing pretty heavily: The son of a b*tch is whacking off in the room when he thinks I'm asleep! I couldn't believe it! Eventually he gets up, goes to the bathroom and then comes out and finally goes to sleep!

Next morning, nothing. He's all smiles, unaware that I know and also that I'm going to cane him with this the first chance I get. I am going to nail him to the wall with this, filthy fecker.

Did you check your socks?

OutlawPete

Did you masturbate while listening?

You filthy fecker ya.

strokemyclover

Scráib wrote: »

I am going to nail him to the wall with this, filthy fecker.

Sounds like you don't need nails to stick this guy to the wall.

Semen: Nature's answer to No More Nails....http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/no-more-nails.jpg

Scráib

Pace2008 wrote: »

How the **** would it make him gay?

It doesn't, he's a crazy person. By his logic someone a gay person fancies is also gay. Maybe it's wishful thinking on his part

Still the idea of what he might have been imagining leaves me with a sense of disquiet... Next time I see him I'm going to punch him in the jaw. I'm not sure how that solves the problem exactly but it'll make me feel better about it anyway.

ejmaztec

Scráib wrote: »

It doesn't, he's a crazy person. By his logic someone a gay person fancies is also gay. Maybe it's wishful thinking on his part

Still the idea of what he might have been imagining leaves me with a sense of disquiet... Next time I see him I'm going to punch sock him in the jaw. I'm not sure how that solves the problem exactly but it'll make me feel better about it anyway.

stupidusername

Ya, I hate when people do that! :rolleyes:

bonerm

OP, when you heard the guy "whacking off" why didn't you tell him to stop?

Panthro

some folk floss before hitting the snoozies, some folk fappsies before snoozies.
who are we to judge

Killer Pigeon

Redlion wrote: »

OP, does this technically make you gay, considering you were in the same room?

Hmmm, i'll leave you to ponder that thought.

Yeah, I mean there normally isn't two single beds in a single room. Lol.

Scráib

bonerm wrote: »

OP, when you heard the guy "whacking off" why didn't you tell him to stop?

I should have. Too polite, too much of a wimp to tell him to cop on or get out probably.

scientific1982

Scráib wrote: »

I should have. Too polite, too much of a wimp to tell him to cop on or get out probably.

Id say you saved yourself and your friend from some serious awkwardness by not mentioning it mid ****.

starbelgrade

You should have got him to play the "Biscuit Game" with you. If you don't know what that is, well here's an explanation;

No of players; 2 guys minimum. No maximum.

Stuff needed; A biscuit

How to play;

Put the biscuit on a chair. At the count of 3 everyone has to start whacking off. The last person to cum on the biscuit loses & as a forfeit, has to eat it.

FearDark

I thought I was being quiet.

scientific1982

starbelgrade wrote: »

You should have got him to play the "Biscuit Game" with you. If you don't know what that is, well here's an explanation;

No of players; 2 guys minimum. No maximum.

Stuff needed; A biscuit

How to play;

Put the biscuit on a chair. At the count of 3 everyone has to start whacking off. The last person to cum on the biscuit loses & as a forfeit, has to eat it.

Ugh

Burkatron

Scráib wrote: »

I should have. Too polite, too much of a wimp to tell him to cop on or get out probably.

OP, you're probably better off you didnt turn around, sounds like he knew you were awake & was setting you up for a Spiderman! :eek::pac:

From Urban dictionary
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Spiderman%20Wank

Spiderman **** 3 thumbs up
buy spiderman **** mugs, tshirts and magnets

When You Masterbate, Come In Your Hand And Throw It In Someones Face! SHOUT SPIDERMAN! ;')

I Will Spiderman **** You In Your Sleep

-Trek-

Burkatron wrote: »

OP, you're probably better off you didnt turn around, sounds like he knew you were awake & was setting you up for a Spiderman! :eek::pac:

eewwwww!

VinnyTGM

Yeh, two single beds, which happened to be joined together :pac:

00112984

If your friend was a girl and this happened, you'd be the King of AH.

Killer Pigeon

If you catch him doing it another night just wait until he's asleep, get a scissors and circumcise him.

we'llallhavetea_old

just be grateful it wasn't your two friends in the bed beside you and that "paddy was not being pushed up against you" `

fonecrusher1

OutlawPete wrote: »

Did you masturbate while listening?

You filthy fecker ya.

Thats disgusting Scraib.:rolleyes:

G to the A to the Y.

bluto63

Did your mother teach you no manners as a child? When a friend's in need, give him a helping hand!

Yourself

I heard this same story told before but the 'friend' coughed a couple of times which didnt stop the fapping, then got up to go to the ensuite and in the light from the bathroom could see that he was actually making that noise with his mouth...very boring story!

Question: would you mind if he was rioding a girl in the bed next to you or is it just that it was pam that annoyed you?

Gummy Panda

Yourself wrote: »

Question: would you mind if he was rioding a girl in the bed next to you or is it just that it was pam that annoyed you?

If his mate was riding a girl, then he could be tagged in. They would be called the bush whackers

Amalgam

WIZE wrote: »

lol OP

He was looking at you while ****

..with his buttery little labrador eyes, squinting at you through the darkness. Trying to scratch a flea.