Dont ya just hate it when ya mix your words up....

wobbles-grogan

Was at work today and said,

"milty-mullion"

instead of multi-million. Was annoying cos the pulled the piss outta me for ages...

Similar experiences anyone? Any truly embarrassing occasions when ya mix your words up?

Stiltzkin

yeah,that happens to me alot too.

Riamfada

shit good thread topic

wobbles-grogan

Grimes wrote: »

shit good thread topic

i see what you did there.....

Degag

Knew a girl who mixed up organic and orgasmic in science class one day.... she was a durty hoare too!!!

Vegeta

At lunch table in work today I meant to say

"The light from Laura Ashley was really difficult to install"

What I actually said was

"The light from Ann Summers was really hard to install"

Got slagged for ages

cowhands

Passing between bars in a pub years ago with my boyfriend another lad winked and licked his lips at me, having a few drinks in me I roared out "that boy just wanked at me"...instead of "winked"....my boyfriend and the other lad burst out laughing...there's me standing there going red saying over and over "I said winked I said winked...."

mirwillbeback

I was at the table one day with my missus and meant to say " what time are you in work at " and instead I said " you ruined my life you stupid bitch "

lilminx

was getting food in the chipper the other night and asked for a cortion of purry.. stopped mid sentence and then corrected myself and asked for a portion of purry.. ffs i didn't even get it right on the third try.. cortion of turry. Darn brain fog. Insomnia sucks.

K4t

Slightly related..I'm new in my job and was sitting at the table next to my co-workers in the canteen the other day. The seat I was on was broken but I managed to stay steady on it. Anyway, another co-worker came in and there were no chairs for her to sit on so immediately I offered mine (forgetting that it was faulty). Anyway she went to sit on it and nearly fell off. Was pretty funny (they were laughing anyway) and I think they thought I did it on purpose. Broke the ice kind of.;)

A lot of my co-workers are foreign and whilst for some their English is decent, I tend to just nod in agreement and communicate with them through actions.

Banned Account

Smakey bocon burger:(

prinz

Fat Bitch instead of Fit Batch... :pac: American lady supervisor was not best pleased but saw the funny side eventually.

Kiera

Fitzcaraldo wrote: »

Smakey bocon burger:(

Yeah but you're a bogger so they probably understood you!

MIRMIR82

K4t wrote: »

Slightly related..I'm new in my job and was sitting at the table next to my co-workers in the canteen the other day. The seat I was on was broken but I managed to stay steady on it. Anyway, another co-worker came in and there were no chairs for her to sit on so immediately I offered mine (forgetting that it was faulty). Anyway she went to sit on it and nearly fell off. Was pretty funny (they were laughing anyway) and I think they thought I did it on purpose. Broke the ice kind of.;)

A lot of my co-workers are foreign and whilst for some their English is decent, I tend to just nod in agreement and communicate with them through actions.

Ahhhh no not related at all really;)

MIRMIR82

Cub of Turry - late one sat night- still gettin ridiculed:o

wobbles-grogan

Verbal diarrhea is a bitch alright....

Ruu_Old

prinz wrote: »

Fat Bitch instead of Fit Batch... :pac: American lady supervisor was not best pleased but saw the funny side eventually.

Are you from New Zealand?

prinz

Ruu wrote: »

Are you from New Zealand?

No, but I have did watch an unhealthy amount of Shortland St. as a student

cabrwab

All the time, too many and far too embarrassing to mention on the internet.

The good ol mum instead of sir or miss for the teacher in school

prinz

cabrwab wrote: »

The good ol mum instead of sir or miss for the teacher in school

Ah yeah, been there too.

wobbles-grogan

All the time, too many and far too embarrassing to mention on the internet.

The good ol mum instead of sir or miss for the teacher in school

That always happened to me, just remembered now :-)

petes

prinz wrote: »

No, but I have did watch an unhealthy amount of Shortland St. as a student

It's still on in the early hours on RTE!!

babyfratelli_x

My friend asked her mum to book her in for a blowjob at da weekend.
She meant blowdry

cynder

kug and a hiss (hug and a kiss)
trolley (was going to say truck or lorry and it came out trolley)


ive done some really stupid ones but those are the two that stick out.

chin_grin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism

* "Three cheers for our queer old dean!" (dear old queen, referring to Queen Victoria)
* "Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?" (customary to kiss)
* "The Lord is a shoving leopard." (a loving shepherd)
* "A blushing crow." (crushing blow)
* "A well-boiled icicle" (well-oiled bicycle)
* "You were fighting a liar in the quadrangle." (lighting a fire)
* "Is the bean dizzy?" (dean busy)
* "Someone is occupewing my pie. Please sew me to another sheet." (occupying my pew...show me to another seat)
* "You have hissed all my mystery lectures. You have tasted a whole worm. Please leave Oxford on the next town drain." (missed...history, wasted...term, down train)[8]

pljudge321

In 6th Class

Teacher: What were the troubles in the North?

Classmate: Sir, it was a war between the catholics and the prostitutes.

ctrl-alt-delete

Was out with my girlfriend and her Parents for dinner,

Her Mam had recovered a few months from a stroke which had only had an effect on her speech,

She works in a school and what she meant to say was

"the girls received their syllabus today"

but what she said was

"the girls received their syphilis today"

oh how i lol'd

iPlop

i once asked someone to "Cook My Sock";)

MightyMighty737

Bid lin
Lid bin
Bin Lid.




If anyone gets the reference, I'll be mightily impressed!





:cool:

NothingMan

Was going out with my gf a few months and we were at a friends house. She was very jealous at the beginning so me trying to get a friends attention by saying me gf's name repeatedly didn't go down well. She was also an ex, so that didn't help. The friend never realised but my gf#s eyes, I swear to christ I saw flames in there.

She's still with me 4 years on so I think I'm forgiven, but you never know with women.

tommyboy2222

When i heard a lad was leaving work i said we should organise a *reacharound* for him !!



*whiparound

thisguy

talking to a co-worker about a video i saw on youtube...course i said to her that i saw it on youjizz instead:o

TheKells

In R.E class in school I had to read about Jesus going to market to buy some exotic fruit, I read out erotic. Even the teacher made fun of me:(

bluto63

There was a place down the road from me that used to sell this sauce called herbie sauce on their chips. Everytime I went in there 'can I get some herpes sauce? Sorry, I mean some herpes sauce. Damn it!'

jillyb

haha yes i do it all the time.. especially in work. The other week I answered the phone and the woman wanted to speak to my boss and she said she was from CIMA, so i called across to him and said xx is on the phone for you from semen if your free to take it!!!

He ripped the piss out of me and said i take it you mean either CIMA or Siemens!!

pearliefan

This happens all the time - especially in the last few months! Talking about flat sharing one time; it came out as flaring shats...

HereNorThere

OMG I was talking to a friend of mine about 2 weeks ago and he brought up "spiral perms." I tried to say, "I had a spiral perm once."

Instead I said:

"I had a sperm once."


:(:(



He just said, "You are so beet red right now!!"

I couldn't stop laughing though.

ballsymchugh

here's a pretty funny mix up!!

http://achgohairithe.tumblr.com/post/841150373/massive-slip-of-the-ahem-tongue-on-newstalks

HereNorThere

ballsymchugh wrote: »

here's a pretty funny mix up!!

http://achgohairithe.tumblr.com/post/841150373/massive-slip-of-the-ahem-tongue-on-newstalks

Oh my gosh. that's a woman he called that too!!! lol

argosy2006

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPmpUToWFpo

vonnie10

haha i always do stuff like this !! Not so long ago i was was trying to decide whether to say pulling your leg or taking the mickey and ended up saying to someone i'd already offended with my witty ancedotes, " i'm just pulling your mickey"
Also was out for a walk one evening with a few friends and after i turned to them and said "That was a nice walk, i really enjoyed spreading my legs" I meant to say stretching my legs !!! D'oh !!!

raah!

mirwillbeback wrote: »

I was at the table one day with my missus and meant to say " what time are you in work at " and instead I said " you ruined my life you stupid bitch "

A slightly different form of this joke is on frasier! You trickster! Maybe ye just both came up with it independently though.

Yes I hate mixing up words, one of the reasons I've lowered my cannabis intake.

SV

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1Y6PchDYfw

we'llallhavetea_old

called my little niece cnuty more than once

yesno1234

Graeme Souness live on tv.
"Vidic was raped by... soyry i mean taken apart by Torres" Brilliant

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYg3hJdq96I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

ballsymchugh

HereNorThere wrote: »

Oh my gosh. that's a woman he called that too!!! lol

i think you mean 'oh fúck, he called her a cnut!"
you just got them mixed up!!

Diageio_Man

ha ha im forever saying stayplation(playstation) and trunk tree.

MrStuffins

"Hi, can i have a lighter and 20 Henson and Bedges please?"

EverEvolving

Porn crackers at the chinese, always.

Seriously though, was going on a school tour years ago and I had the stupidity to ask - what time are we coming home at, knowing full well we were coming back to the school, got asked had I my tent the next day

up for anything

Told someone I'd give them a hintle gent.

My sister's was classic though - she rang me one day to tell me she'd got a virile infection.

tommyboy2222

Years ago my brother was asked what star sign he was by the babysitter.

"A virgin" he said

"I hope so!!!!" she replied