What exactly happened here?

The_Minister

I'm not sure how to explain this properly but I'll give it a go.

In another European country a while back (few months) with some friends, including two girls.
We meet some of girl A's friends. They are delighted to see her.

Girl B was introduced. They had never met her; they didn't like her; I could tell (in fairness, while Girl B is great fun, she is not....classy). They smiled at her, but didn't smile right (If that makes any sense). They just gave off an air of ....something. Contempt maybe.

And without even talking to her except by saying hello, they completely froze her out. They didn't do anything outward, but I could feel 'it' coming off them, and Girl B was literally in tears within five minutes. You could feel it in the air.

Guys don't tend to do this, or at least they wait for some provocation.

Any girls have any insight on what was going on here?
I apologise for the poor description, but I'm not sure how I can elaborate.

rainbow kirby

Moved from tLL to Relationship Issues.

Black Swan

Could be cliquism. An in-group excluding an outsider. Not gender-specific. Both females and males do it.

The_Minister

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

Could be cliquism. An in-group excluding an outsider. Not gender-specific. Both females and males do it.

This was within a minute of meeting her for the first time.

I've never seen guys do that.

PopUp

Sounds like garden variety snobbery at first glance. There's not many details so it's hard to say anything for certain.

Was everybody involved from the same country? Were there any language barriers (on your part, as well as the women)? How big was the group and what were you doing? Do Girl A and Girl B know each other well?

Some possible explanations:
They are snobs.
They are xenophobes.
They are bitches.
Girl B has done something nasty to Girl A that you don't know about but her friends do.
Girl A has been gossiping about Girl B's lack of class.
There's a cultural barrier that makes some people seem cruel when they are simply reserved and Girl B doesn't understand that, and her attempts to overcome it made her seem tacky and rude, which increased the reserve further.
The girls were more interested in catching up with an old friend than making new ones.

But the overwhelmingly most likely explanation is they are snobs/bitches. It happens. Lucky you all got to see it immediately on meeting them really.

The_Minister

Same country. Same language.
Ten altogether once the new arrivals were added.

Girl A and B get on well. We were all staying at Girl A's place.


It was just a sudden, inexplicable hostility and contempt, from nowhere that I could determine.

Nevyn

Ranking and socail exclusion, she was deemed not to live up to the standard of what they want in a friend or someone they wanted around so they froze her out.
Classic female tactics, silent nothing overt said or done, very effective and very hard to point out or call someone out on, this type of crap is learned in schools and then used everywhere that they can get away with it.

S23

Yep what Thaedydal said.

It's a form of 'death without assasination' if you like.

How to completely kill someone off and exclude them without actually doing anything overtly malicious to them. As said above, extremely hard to pull someone up on as the people involved in freezing someone out can always go back to the excuse of 'hey I never actually did anything to that person'

SugarHigh

+1 to what Thaed said. I think men do similar things but it would be more out in the open in the form of slagging. The guy has a chance to fight back and win the respect of the group or at least be there for the other lads to score points off.

metrovelvet

Typical bitch tactics. Could have been for any number of unknows reasons, from the wrong hair to being too thin.