Having an affair with his PS3

scabbie1

Well , as the title reads, its me him and well anything else.It could be the ps3 or the tv.It seems its anything but me.I dont think he even likes me aNymore.Yeah, we have sex, I make an effort.He was never the jealsous type, I always knew I wasnt the most important thing in his life.I know that his daughter is , although we have 3 kids.The other two dont get a look in.He doesnt talk to them.I dont know what to do.I really do make an effort.When we have sex, its cause I make the first move, or cause Im drunk, and then he does??
We are married 17 years.I love him, but I dont like him right now.
I made a huge effort last ngiht.I asked him to either go for a drink or we could watch a movie together.The idea put him in bad humour and he didnt speak to me for the night.
Just went into the other room read the paper, played with his ps3.Call of duty.Im so pissed off.
Im not ugly, actually Im very out going and have male friends, ask me out.I have never ever done anything, no affairs.I love my husband, Im just fed up feeling like a peice of liver, mixed in with a childminder and cleaner.

Kidchameleon

Must be a very difficult time OP. Have you guys considered counseling?

SarahSassy

scabbie1 wrote: »

Well , as the title reads, its me him and well anything else.It could be the ps3 or the tv.It seems its anything but me.I dont think he even likes me aNymore.Yeah, we have sex, I make an effort.He was never the jealsous type, I always knew I wasnt the most important thing in his life.I know that his daughter is , although we have 3 kids.The other two dont get a look in.He doesnt talk to them.I dont know what to do.I really do make an effort.When we have sex, its cause I make the first move, or cause Im drunk, and then he does??
We are married 17 years.I love him, but I dont like him right now.
I made a huge effort last ngiht.I asked him to either go for a drink or we could watch a movie together.The idea put him in bad humour and he didnt speak to me for the night.
Just went into the other room read the paper, played with his ps3.Call of duty.Im so pissed off.
Im not ugly, actually Im very out going and have male friends, ask me out.I have never ever done anything, no affairs.I love my husband, Im just fed up feeling like a peice of liver, mixed in with a childminder and cleaner.

What a selfish ass!!! Tell him to cop the F on or he will lose you. Time to stop pandering to this guy and start looking after yourself.

metrovelvet

Everyone here will tell you this is terrible advice, and it probably is, but if that were my husband, and talking to him failed and he turned down counselling, I would either have an affair or leave him.

Cheap Thrills!

I was thinking the exact same thing as Metrovelvet. If you can't leave because of the kids and are trapped ...what other choice do you have only an affair ....

If you can leave though, do. His behaviour is intolerable.

mitsy

Hi OP, it sounds like an awful situation to be in. All any of us really want is to be heard and understood and loved for who we are. If he is completely unaware or inconsiderate of how you are feeling then you have to ask yourself, is this really the type of person you want in your life. Someone who ignores you and doesnt care how his behaviour has such a negative and hurtful effect on his wife. I know my answer would be to get out and run as fast as you can away from such a person.

I know its really difficult to face up to these things. I did it for years too, stayed in relationships that i knew in my heart of hearts things were never going to be any different and i wasnt getting the love that i needed.

You have to do what is right for you. Think about it this way if you leave you are doing something positive to make you happy. Maybe it would be the big kick up the backside he needs to realise what he would be losing if you left and things might be different. Either way it means you are looking after yourself.

Best of luck!!

scabbie1

I think it is inconsideration, more so than not knowing.He came to loosing our life once.last year.I had a miscarraige and I told him I was bleeding, he asked me, what I wanted him to do about it.He went to work, I got the kids to school and went to the hospital, had test, confirmed the miscarraige.
I asked him what he thought he was doing, he didnt want the baby anyway. I can never forgive that.Maybe thats going to always be in my head.??
Oh I dont know, one side of the coin is a good husband that works hard, the other is a guy that has no relationship with his kids, or wife.He has lost contact with a lot of his friends, but doesnt care. He doesnt seem to care about anything.Thanks for the advice.

Nody

He sounds depressed honestly; might I recommend councelling for both of you (not as a couple but on an individual basis) and then couple counselling if needed?

Ickle Magoo

A good father/husband isn't someone who just works hard. A good father/husband is a guy who does all the stuff you say he isn't - communication, romance, spending quality time with the kids, etc, etc.

The other issue is if you say he has interest in nothing, could he be depressed? Or is it just selfishness? I think enough is enough, you should give him an ultimatum to get help/attend counselling with you/get his finger out or that's it, he's made the decision to end your relationship by not taking any interest in it's survival.

Best of luck

Blackpitts

sunflower27 wrote: »

How is he a good father if he ignores 2 of his kids?

+1!
He doesnt talk to them, wtf!

metrovelvet

Theres a saying 'bad husband, worse father.'

Cheap Thrills!

scabbie1 wrote: »

I think it is inconsideration, more so than not knowing.He came to loosing our life once.last year.I had a miscarraige and I told him I was bleeding, he asked me, what I wanted him to do about it.He went to work, I got the kids to school and went to the hospital, had test, confirmed the miscarraige.

That is totally unacceptable. I'm not saying he's not depressed but I don't care if he's on the verge of suicide, he coldly dismissed you to take the kids to school while you were miscarrying and went to work. :eek::mad:

Leave this ass. He is an utter selfish, cruel, immature ba$tard. You will be so much better without him.

fungun

Counselling or leave.

Those actions whilst u were miscarrying are shocking. He needs to sort himself out